“I see,” she said in an icy tone she didn’t recognize. “Fair enough then.”
She went to sidestep him, but he threw his arm out to stop her. Mollie glared at the offending arm, refusing to touch him before she turned her glower on him. The anguish etched into his features stole her breath.
“I don’t know if I can control myself around you, without changing you, not anymore,” he said. “Not after everything that has happened and how far our bond has progressed.”
She tilted her head back to study him. Then she realized she hadn’t told him about her decision. He remained in limbo, heartbroken by the loss of his friend and uncertain about their future.
“But I want to join you, Mike. I’ve told Aida, and she’s okay with it. We’ll have to figure things out with her, and I still want to go to college, but we can do it, together. You said you needed to feed on humans and feed well before the change could take place; you’ve done both tonight.”
Hope flared in Mike’s eyes; he reached for her before lowering his hand. “I want… no, Ineedyou, but I can’t.”
“I don’t understand, why not?”
Mike ran his hand through his hair as he released a harsh breath. She was offering herself to him,tonight!
He would give anything to join with her and make her his forever. If he let himself get lost in her, he might be able to forget, for a little bit, the hole inside him Doug’s death had created.
But he couldn’t do it. He could not change her tonight or anytime soon. The demon tore at his insides, begging to break free and seize control, but he would control the selfish beast as he wouldn’t condemn her.
“I’m going back to the island, Mollie. I have to go back, for Jack.”
“I know, but what does that have to do withus?”
“I won’t bind your life to mine before I go.”
She felt as if someone had picked her up and plunged her into the Arctic Sea as understanding dawned; he wasn’t sure he’d return to her. “You arenotgoing to die on that island.”
“It is a possibility, and I won’t risk your life because of my selfishness.”
“Mike—”
“I will not take you as my mate and condemn you to death if I don’t return.”
Mollie didn’t know what to say or do. She’d never be able to convince him to stay away from the island, but… “Won’t you become increasingly unstable if we don’t complete the bond?”
“Yes, but I will control myself. I have so far.” He knew he was probably lying to her, but then he was also lying to himself. Every second, he felt his control slipping further away. “Iwillcontrol it.”
But he couldn’t control himself. She could see that truth in the compression of his lips and the hint of red that was now a permanent fixture in his eyes. She saw it in the way he held himself so rigidly while keeping himself restrained from her.
Aida. She had her sister to worry about. If something happened to him and they were mated, what would become of Aida? She couldn’t leave her sister all alone in this world.
She recalled Aida’s earlier words. “I’ll never forgive myself or you if you use me as an excuse to keep putting your life on hold. If this is what you want, do it and do it tonight before he snaps, because that won’t be pretty.”
She could walk out of this room, Mike would understand, and Aida didn’t have to know about this conversation, but Mollie would never be able to meet Aida’s gaze again without feeling guilty for withholding this from her. And if she walked away, she could be condemning Mike to death if he returned to the island while barely in control of himself.
If she walked out of this room, she’d curse herself as a coward for the rest of her life, even if he did return. And if he didn’t return…
She refused to think about the possibility. Hewouldreturntoher.
Stepping closer, Mollie ignored the stiffening of his body when she rested her hands on his chest and ran them over his shirt. “You won’t have to control it,” she murmured.
“Mollie—”
“This ismychoice to make, and I made it. Can we do this tonight? Did you feed enough?”
He’d fed more than enough, but he clutched her forearms with the intention of moving her away from him.
“Don’t push me away, Mike. I’ll never forgive you if you do.”
