“I don’t,” he admitted. “Will you judge me for that?”
“No.”
Who was she to judge anyone about anything? She was a mere speck on this planet and, as far as she was concerned, to each their own as long as no one got hurt and children weren’t involved.
“I’ve been with seven men,” she said. “The first three I met while I was traveling; the others I met at work. I dated one for a month before moving on.”
“Not to your liking?”
His tone was surprisingly light considering the jealousy clawing at his insides. Those men knew what she tasted like, what she felt like, and they’d heard her cries of ecstasy. When he took her—and hewouldhave her, he decided—she’d forget every last one of them by the time he finished.
“Noneof them were to my liking,” she admitted.
She had no idea why she was telling him these things, but there was something about Saxon that made it easy to open up to him. Since there was so much she couldn’t tell him, she could at least reveal this.
“Then why were you with them?” he asked.
She’d stopped and asked herself that question after she gathered her clothes from the floor of her last partner’s apartment and snuck out before he could wake up. She was eighteen years old; she’d met him the previous night, and she couldn’t remember his name.
Maybe she wouldn’t have minded if he was the first one she’d forgotten the next morning, but he wasn’t even the third. She’d been having sex for three years, and she’d only bothered to learn and remember the names of three of her partners.
Driving home, she tried to figure out what she was doing and why. Sex with random guys was all fine and dandy if she were enjoying herself, but she wasn’t. She couldn’t recall an orgasm she hadn’t given herself.
She liked sex, but not because it felt good—it did feel good, but it certainly wasn’t an earth-shattering experience. On that drive, she realized she had no idea why she was sleeping with these men and how out of control her life had become.
She could spend the rest of her days angry at her mom for parading her around a bunch of strangers, cursing her rare ability, hating life, and bouncing from one bed to another, or she could get her act together. At sixteen, she’d wrested control of her life back from her mom;shewas the one using her control to bang random dudes, do nothing to better herself, and be miserable.
And she was miserable. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d felt happy or done anything other than work and go home. Before she learned about her ability, she’d loved school and been popular and social. Afterward, she’d become withdrawn and given up on pursuing her old dreams of college.
On that drive, she realized that from here on out, the things she didn’t like about her life wereherfault if she didn’t fix them.
So that was what she decided to do.
“I asked myself that after my last partner and realized something was broken and empty inside me, and onlyIcould fix it,” she said.
“And did you?”
“I was working on it before these bastards arrived. I’d decided it was time to focus on me and whatIwanted out of life. I stayed away from men and started taking different college courses. It’s been four years since I dated anyone, but for the past nine months, my pickings have beenreallyslim.”
She’d tried to sound amused when she said this last bit, but it fell short.
“Until I arrived,” he said with a wink.
Elyse managed a smile, but her desire for him had faded as common sense returned. If she were going to die, she would prefer to get in one last good screw first. And she imagined Saxon would probably be thebestscrew she ever had, but sleeping with a vamp was all kinds of wrong, and the dumbest thing she could do.
Chapter Twelve
“So haveany of the numerous women in your past been to your liking?” She’d prefernotto have the answer, but she was hoping that hearing about his past conquests would help her keep her hands to herself.
“There are some things in my life….” His voice trailed off. “I’m not ashamed of my past with women, but I’m not proud of it either. Some things must be done.”
She lifted an eyebrow at this statement. Yep, that helped kill some of her lust. “Youmustsleep around?”
Saxon studied her as he tried to decide how much to reveal, but she was already pretty deep into the vampire world; he didn’t think it mattered if he told her more. Besides, she might already know what he was about to say to her.
“I’m a purebred vampire; do you know what that means?”
“No.”
