“Most.”
She should be disgusted by him and this revelation, but she only felt sad. “That sounds lonely.”
She knew how lonely she felt most nights; she couldn’t imaginecenturiesof feeling that way.
Saxon hadn’t expected her response. He wasn’t proud of the number of women he’d been with, they were a necessity to keep him from killing, but he’d expected her to be repulsed by him.
Instead, she’d stripped him bare and gone straight to the heart of the matter.
It was a lonely life. Many times, he didn’t enjoy sex anymore; he was just desperate for the release it would grant him for a few hours before the need started to build again. Most days, he tried not to think about what an eternity of living this way would be like, but some days, the doubts crept in until he was afraid the hopelessness of it would choke him.
He understood why some vampires gave in and started killing to stop the hopelessness looming over them, but that would never be him. Death was his only other release; unless, he found his mate.
Saxon had never really considered such a thing happening to him before because he preferred to live in the present. He wouldn’t have any problem with settling down with only one woman; he’d always been the playboy, but that was to keep his sanity. The idea of returning home to someone after fighting with Savages made him yearn for a life he didn’t have.
He saw the way Ronan and Killean were with their mates, how much finding those women changed their lives and brought smiles to their faces. They had something more than killing Savages to live for now, and it had brought them to life in a way Saxon hadn’t believed possible.
“It can be lonely,” he admitted. “But I have good friends.”
“That must be nice.”
The wistfulness of her tone and the sadness in her eyes tugged at his heart. “I’m sure you have plenty of friends.”
“I’m more of a loner,” she said.
Elyse tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. They may not know she was a freak in her new town, but after years of slinking through the shadows and trying to go unnoticed, she had a difficult time being social.
She kept waiting for someone to discover who she was and what she could do and tell the whole town. The one bad thing about living in a small town was the gossip would spread like wildfire. She couldn’t take it if she made new friends only to have them turn their backs on her like her old friends had.
Besides, after being imprisoned here for months, she doubted her social skills had improved.
“What about the men you were with, any relationships?” he asked.
“No.”
She’d met her first at a campground in Texas where they’d parked their RV for a week. She didn’t find him attractive, but he paid attention to her, told her she was pretty, and she’d been desperate for someone to look at her asanythingother than a commodity. She didn’t remember much about number two; he’d simply been another person to hold her one night at another campground.
Saxon kept his face impassive, but he wasn’t accustomed to the jealousy seething through him.
Elyse sank onto the couch again and rested her head on the pillow as she yawned. “Your friends are probably worried about you.”
“I’m sure they are,” he agreed as her eyes closed, and her lashes swept over her pale cheeks.
He sat and watched while her breathing eased and she fell asleep. Saxon draped his arms over the couch as he listened to the crackle of the fire. His veins burned with his hunger, and he was going on three days without sex, but he couldn’t recall the last time he felt this relaxed.
Chapter Fourteen
The crashof something bolted Elyse up the next morning. Her gaze swung around the cabin as she searched for whatever caused the noise, but she didn’t see anything. Her mind spun as she tried to recall everything that happened. She turned on the couch as she searched for Saxon; had she dreamed him up?
Then she saw the flashlights on the table and heard the crackle of the fire as the scent of burning wood filled the cabin. She couldn’t have dreamed the loss of power and Saxon; he had to be real.
“Saxon?” she called.
Silence met her. Throwing the blanket aside, she winced when she set her feet on the floor, and it took her a couple of seconds to recall her mad dash down the driveway. The glass rattled in the windows as the wind buffeted the cabin. When she rose, she saw snow blowing across the yard, but she couldn’t tell if it was still snowing or if the wind was just blowing it around out there.
She padded into the kitchen and found it empty. Leaning back on her heels, she peered down the hall, but she didn’t hear the shower, and all the doors were closed. Maybe he’d gone to sleep in one of the rooms.
She was about to go in search of him when the back door flew open, and a blast of wind caused her to jump away from the arctic air. Snow fell off Saxon as he stomped into the kitchen with an armload of wood.
