His tone was teasing, but I sensed something more beneath his words.
“I was still reading Nancy Drew,” I said.
He didn’t speak as he stared at the water with his head bowed. I tried to picture him at fifteen. He would have been handsome but probably a little awkward as he went through growth spurts, facial hair, and maybe some acne. Girls still would have tripped over themselves to get at him, and he’d said he looked older than his age.
“If I’d known how much sex would come to rule my life, I would have waited a lot longer,” he said.
I rested my head on the thick muscles of his arms. Seeking to ease the strain he radiated, I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him.
“What happened with the girl?” I asked.
“She wasn’t thinking about marriage and was planning to give my best friend a test drive. They hooked up a week later. The two of us got into a fistfight over her, but when Cindy moved on to her next victim, we stole some of his dad’s homemade vodka and got drunk together. That girl was a man-eater,” he said with a laugh.
“What happened to Cindy Wallis?”
When the smile left his face, I knew I’d asked the wrong thing. “She was slaughtered with the rest of my town.”
I inwardly winced when I tore that wound open again.
“Come on,” he said.
He released me but took my hand as he stepped over the stream. Keeping hold of his hand, he helped me cross the creek, and we walked deeper into the woods.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Not far; we have to stay close to the others.”
“Okay.” I enjoyed being with him too much to care about how far we walked. “The animals are quieter in the Wilds than I expected.”
“They aren’t as active out here; there are too many predators here for squirrels and birds to be as free as they are on the other side of the wall. In the areas we’ve cleared, the animal populations have become more active again.”
“This area hasn’t been cleared?”
“No. I’ve never been this deep into the Wilds, and neither has Wren. When we have time to do a thorough sweep of this area, those fog people will be at the top of the list.”
“Good. I can still see thatthingstaring at me from inside her.”
Hawk released my hand to drape his arm around my shoulders and pull me closer. When his breath tickled my cheek, longing seeped through my body. We were supposed to get to know each other better, but over this past week, I’d learned a lot about him.
He’d told me about the losses he endured, and I’d witnessed his loyalty to his friends and the way he joked with them when a hound dumped one of them. I’d experienced the warmth of his body against mine at night, yet he never made a move on me.
He had to know I’d cave like a house of cards if he stroked me in the right way. He had to sense my desire as strongly as I sensed his. Yet, every morning, he rolled away from me. Hawk was a study in patience and restraint while being this close to him was causing mine to unravel. Everything I learned about him, and the closer we got, the more I liked my Chosen.
It should have come as a relief, but it also scared me. It might have been easier if we hated each other; then I wouldn’t have to worry about my heart. I wasn’t in love with him, but I could see it happening one day, and it scared me. Life was far too precarious in this world, and what if he never loved me back?
What a miserable, lonely life that would be.
He stopped to tilt his head back. I followed his gaze to the clear night sky and the thousands of stars dancing overhead. Despite his casual demeanor, I’d never seen him look so tense as lines etched the corners of his mouth and eyes.
“When I was a kid, I always wished on the first star I saw,” I said.
“What did you wish for?”
“A good grade, a dog, to go to a concert—you know, kid stuff. Then the war happened, and I stopped wishing.”
“Why?”
“Because I wasn’t a kid anymore.”
