“Aida.” She had her hand on the knob when hespoke. Bracing herself, she waited for whatever was about to followas she turned to look back at him. “Are you happy?”
That question astounded her more than seeinghim last night. She expected some rude comment, a blow off, oranythingelse, but not this. Words failed her as she triedto figure out what game he was playing.
The look that came over her face made Julianbrace himself while waiting for her answer. He couldn’t tell if shewas going to punch him or cry as she stared at him like he was someghostly apparition telling her he was taking her into the past.
“What do you care?” she asked.
Julian managed not to wince. “All I everwanted was your happiness.”
A million different responses ran throughAida’s mind. She wanted to tell him she’d been doing great until hearrived—that everything was fantastic, she was living the dream,and better off without him.
She also wanted to tell him the truth—shemissed him every day, and nothing had been the same since he left.However, she could never tell him that.
She would have revealed everything to the oldJulian, but she didn’t know this man. He’d left, and so much hadchanged, yet it felt as if everything was the same. She was stillscared, still trying to outrun the memories of her past, and stillfailing to do so.
If he’d never left, she would have told himhow she felt about him. But then, if he never left, she’d probablybe in his arms instead of longing to be anywhere but here.
“I’m ecstatic,” she said. “I’ve goteverything I ever dreamed about.”
It was a lie, he could probably see straightthrough it, but she didn’t care. She opened the door to her roomand slipped inside. She resisted slamming it behind her when sheclosed it and slumped against the wood.
Julianran a handthrough his hair before resting his fingers against the spot on hischest where she walked into him. He could still feel her warmthagainst him, and he craved more of it. With that simple touch, shemade him feel more alive than he had in years.
And she was angry at him. Beneath herconfusion and uncertainty, he sensed the simmering resentmentinside her. He had no idea how to make it better, how to get backto where they were before, but he would do anything to earn hertrust again. Not only because he wasn’t ready to die, but becausehe knew they would be amazing together.
He was about to return to the living room,but his feet remained rooted in place as he turned to look back ather door. He could tell she was exhausted by the slump of hershoulders and the shadows under her eyes, but he had to tell herthe truth, or at least as much of it as he could give her. Hecouldn’t stand this awkward distance between them.
He walked down the hall and knocked on herdoor. From within, he heard a muffled curse, and the door openedenough to reveal her scowling face.
“What is it?” she asked.
Resting his hand against the door jamb, hegazed down at her as he absorbed the delicate beauty of her face.Even with the exhaustion clinging to her, she was exquisite. Whenher eyes fell to his chest, his body stiffened in reaction to thedesire he sensed from her.
“I left to make you happy,” he said.
Her eyes flew back to his as her nostrilsflared. “Ineverasked you to leave.”
“I know.”
Was he blamingherfor his absenceover the years? Had he told his family it washerfault whenshe’d never wanted him to go?
“Thenwhywould you think it wouldmakemehappy if you left?” she demanded.
“You wanted a life without vampires init.”
“Mysisteris a vampire, and I wouldnever want Mollie out of my life!”
Julian’s fingers clamped around thedoorframe; he was butchering this. “I know you wouldn’t, but youwanted to be in the mortal world and to live a normal, human life.I was trying to give that to you.”
“Again,whycouldn’t I have done thatif you stayed? Why did you have to take off so I could go tocollege and live as a human?”
CHAPTER 12
He’d dug himself in deep, and he had no idea how toget out of it. His mind spun as he tried to think of something tomake her understand without giving too much away.
Aida stared expectantly at him while he gazedat her like his life was on the line and she’d asked him thequestion to Final Jeopardy.
“Because I wanted to be more than yourfriend, Aida. If I stayed, I would have followed you to Arizona anddone everything I could to be with you. And if I did that, younever would have had the normal life you were after; you would haveremained half in and half out of the vampire world. I left to makeyou happy.”
