“I’ll let you remember it all,” he said. “Orat least I’m hoping you’ll remember it all because Ineedyou to love me again and to know I’m not a monster.”
“I don’t think you’re a monster.”
“How could you think I’m not after what youwitnessed tonight?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted.
She didn’t understand anything anymore, butJulian could never be a monster, not to her. No matter that he hurther when he walked away, he would always be the beautiful boy whogave her a swan, held her when she cried, and helped her throughthe worst time of her life. She’d witnessed him murder anothertonight, but he would never be a monster to her.
“I should have run out of the gallery afterwhat I saw and heard tonight. I never should have come back here,but Ifeel”—she rested her hand over her heart—“like I cantrust you, and even if we haven’t seen each other in years, I don’tthink you’d ever attack me. Besides, IknowKyle and Cassidywould never put me in danger. You may be their brother, but theystill wouldn’t leave me with you if they believed you’d hurtme.”
Julian buried the surge of hope her wordsbrought with them. Her trusthadto come from her buriedmemories and love for him. He had to be able to set her memoriesand love free. He couldn’t let himself consider the possibility hemight fail.
CHAPTER 46
Kneeling before her, he took her clasped hands andheld them in his. “Do you give me permission to control your mindagain so I can set your memories free?”
“Did I give you permission to do itbefore?”
“Yes.”
She’d given him permission to take control ofher mind and mess with her memories? There was that damn rabbithole again as the world lurched in some odd way. She couldn’timagineeveragreeing to such a thing. She’d been helplessand at the mercy of vamps on the island; she never wanted to be sovulnerable again, and having someone invade her mind was about asvulnerable as it got.
She resisted putting her head between herknees as the coppery taste preceding vomit filled her mouth. Whatwould he do if she threw up all over him? She almost laughed as sheimagined the shock on his face, but if she opened her mouth, shereally would unleash the meager contents of her stomach all overhim.
Julian rested his hand on her shoulder whenher skin took on a greenish hue. He didn’t know what was wrong, butshe looked ill. “It’s okay. Deep breaths. It should all make sensesoon.”
“Should?”
He sighed as he massaged her shoulder. Hedidn’t want to upset her more, but he couldn’t lie to her. “I’m notsure if I’ll be able to unlock everything. It took a lot of powerand time to bury the memories we’ve built over the past couple ofweeks.”
“Weeks?” she croaked.
“Yes.”
“And we’ve been together that wholetime?”
“Just about.”
“Are we really having sex?”
“Yes.”
She lowered her head between her knees. Howcould she not remember that?
Because he’s been inside your head.
But you gave him permission to do it.
Had shereally,or was he just sayingthat?
Well, the only way to answer that questionwas to let him into her mind again. But how could she be sure whathe unleashed was the truth?
She could go on with these questions andpossibilities and never-ending doubts forever, or she could handherself over to him. Or she could walk out of here and never lookback. She could never shut Mollie out of her life, but she couldshut out the Byrnes and every other vampire who had screwed withher life.
Lifting her head from her knees, her gazewent to the door. “Would you let me leave?”
His hand tightened on her shoulder. He’dnever survive if she left him, but he would never deny her.“Yes.”
