“You hate me!” the girl shouted. “I’m not your perfect little girl anymore! I’m nothing but a disappointment to you, and you make that clear every single day.”
Willow glanced at Declan as he relaxed. He’d realized they were trapped in the middle of this family drama.
“We have to get out here,” she whispered to him. “Are you in control enough to go downstairs and outside?”
Declan pondered this question before releasing his pent-up breath. “Yes.”
Reaching into his pocket, he dug around for a lollipop. A twinge of alarm tugged at him when he realized there were only two left after this one. He opened the candy and inspected the purple coloring before putting it in his mouth.
Willow grasped the railing and tiptoed down the steps as the argument continued in the kitchen. He refused to let his eyes fall on the enticing sway of her hips as she walked.
At the bottom of the stairs, she edged the door open and slipped outside. Declan followed her and closed the door before he stopped to inhale the fresh-cut grass scent on the crisp spring air.Breathe in. Breathe out.
He lifted his face and closed his eyes as the sun’s rays warmed him. The last of his impulse to kill melted away as he continued to ground himself in the moment.
“Are you okay around them?” Willow asked.
Shame washed through him; she shouldneverhave to question his stability. She never should have seen him like that. He’d intended to make sure she never saw the twisted monstrosity he’d locked away years ago.
But there was no keeping the worst parts of him hidden from her. Because, with her, there was no control. With her, the demon was closer to the surface than ever before. And that was saying a lot considering he’d lost complete control once.
He was one hundred and ten at the time. It was only seventy short years after his father became a monster, and Declan vowedneverto follow in his footsteps. But he almost had, and if Ronan hadn’t been there to stop him, he would have slaughtered countless innocents.
He spent the next five years locked away while he worked to suppress the demon inside him. When he reemerged, he knew that while he’d learned to tame the demon part of him, it would never be fully caged. And in all the centuries since, his restraint was never as tested as it was today.
“I’ll be fine,” he said.
He turned away from the doubt in her eyes and descended the steps to the front yard. The grass crunched under his feet as he strolled over to the sidewalk. He stopped and turned the lollipop between his teeth as he studied the quaint homes and closed front doors. The setting sun painted the sky with an arrangement of pastels.
Willow remained on the porch as Declan stopped on the sidewalk and shoved his hands in his pockets. She didn’t know if she should go to him or if it would only make it worse if she did.
She’d spent her entire life around vampires, but she’d never encountered one like Declan. Not only did he fascinate her, but she also felt fiercely protective of him.
He needs me.She had no idea where the certainty of that came from, but it was true. Then she recalled the anguished look on his face when he stared at her sometimes. He may need her, but when he looked at her like that, she felt like she was only making whatever tormented him worse.
She’d been about to descend the stairs to go after him, but her feet froze in place. She felt nearly as tormented as he’d looked while she warred with her instinct to follow him and her apprehension that she might cause him more suffering.
Declan ran a hand through his hair as he continued to piece together the walls that had kept so many safe for years. Every time he believed he had them sealed again, a small crack emerged, and he was struck with the overwhelming urge to kill until he sated his bloodlust.
But it wouldneverbe sated. He’d acknowledged that simple truth years ago. He would spend the rest of his life battling himself.
He clamped his teeth down as the walls started crumbling again. This time, he might lose the battle again or go insane from his destructive instincts battling his conscience.Deep breaths in; deep breaths out. Deep breaths in; deep breaths out.
He’d spent years learning the technique of meditation and countless hours practicing yoga to help keep him centered. Since going through a sun salutation in the front yard would only bring more unwelcome attention, he remained focused on his breathing. It usually calmed him, but it was only making him angrier.
Still, he continued to use the technique that had worked for him before as he tried to focus on his breathing. However, his senses were in hyperactive mode, and he found himself listening to the hearts beating behind the closed doors surrounding him.
It would be so easy to walk up to one of these doors, knock on it, and ask to use their phone. They were friendly people, it was a quiet town, and they weren’t used to monsters lurking amongst them. They would let him in, and when they did, he would tear into them like a lion on a gazelle.
Or he could turn around and return to the house where he already had an invite to enter…
Then a hand slid into his, and whereas breathing and the lollipop failed to calm him, Willow’s touch was like cold water on the fire burning inside him. Her delicate brow furrowed, and concern filled her eyes.
He despised that he’d been the one who caused her unease as he drew her a step closer. Unable to stop himself, he brushed back a strand of her still damp hair. Her skin was like silk beneath his fingers as they skimmed her cheek before tucking the hair behind her ear.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
Willow smiled at him. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
