“Your actions are what put me in danger with her to begin with!” I accused.
His forehead furrowed, and I threw up my hands to ward him off when he took a step toward me. A rumble of frustration emitted from him, but he stayed where he was. “What are you talking about?” he demanded.
“The only reason she hated me, called me a whore and every other thing she could think to call me, and attacked me today is because you had sex with her andforgother!”
“You should have told me she was saying these things to you.”
“Why? What would you have done then?” His face remained stony. “Forget it. I don’t want to know.”
“I would have taken care of it.”
“Youwere the reason for it! The woman whose head you justtoreoff was the same one from the cafeteria a couple of weeks ago who you could not remember. I think she believed herself in love with you, and you tossed her aside.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “Then she was a fool. If she had come to me, I’d have told her so.”
I went to wrap my arms around myself in a sad attempt at comfort. I stopped when I recalled Eileen’s blood on me. My hands fell limply back to my sides. “How can you be so callous about a life?”
“Because it’s not yours, Mah Kush-la.”
The endearment caused my heart to twist with anguish. I wanted to melt into his arms so badly, but I couldn’t. “Mine is not the most important—”
“But itis, especially compared to all oftheirs. They mean nothing, and I meant what I said about ripping every one of their limbs off the next time one of them so much as breathes on you the wrong way.”
“You can’t do that. Our world doesn’t work like that.”
“It’s the way it works now. Humans brought us here, they thrust us into this world, and now they have no choice but to deal with us. I don’t see the problem.”
I threw my arms up and stalked away from him. “The problem is your actions caused today’s events to unfold, yet you killed her as if she were no more than an ant.”
“She wasn’t worth more than that.”
I blinked back the tears filling my eyes and folded my arms around my middle. I stopped caring about the blood on me. I felt barren inside. He was so cold, so unfeeling that I barely recognized him. “You had sex with her.”
“I’ve had sex with many. None of them have reacted in such a way.”
My heart wrenched in my chest. “There was no caring in Lucifer either.”
“Donotcompare me to him!” he spat.
“I’m not. I know you’re different, but you’re also very similar. I can’t let myself become like him. There are too many in this world I care about for that to happen. All life is precious to me. I could feel the pulse of it before I knew what I was. It has always been a comforting thing to me. To lose that would be like losing my soul.”
“You will not lose it.”
A realization settled over me. “I will if I become like him. I would bet part of the reason Lucifer is the way he is now, is because he lost that connection to life. You yourself said he can no longer wield life. Maybe he didn’t lose the ability in Hell; maybe he somehow lost it beforehand by standing by while something wrong was committed. Maybe he lost it another way, but I cannot take the chance of it happening to me.”
“Shefuckingdeserved to die!”
This time, he did bellow the words at me. His eyes burned hotter as his claws extended.
“Whatever this thing is between us, or was, is over,” I whispered. “You have no care for humans, no care for life—”
“I care for yours more than my own.”
“I can’t be with someone who thinks so little of my kind.”
“They aren’t your kind.”
“They are to me!” I cried.
