I didn’t care what I had to do, I would never let something like that happen to me. I wouldneverbecome like him. Still, I couldn’t rid myself of the idea that my mother had been right, and I really was an abomination who never should have existed.
I lay awake at night torn between fantasies of the man sleeping in the room next to mine and plagued by the idea I could become a monster.
I didn’t dread traveling to the gate or trying to close it; that was easy-peasy compared to the idea my DNA shared the same code as Lucifer’s. I could face what would come with the journey to the gate; I could prepare and fight any threat. I couldn’t fight genetics.
Moving through the food line, I could feel the hostility and dread radiating around the people who moved hastily away from me. I was worse than the smelly kid in class, as I had a five-foot-wide space around me. Demons lingered nearby and I had no doubt they were there to watch over and protect me if it became necessary. Grabbing an apple, I placed it on my tray and turned to face the crowd.
The heads around me bent down and shoulders hunched up. The tops of their tables became extremely fascinating as people pretended not to see me. I took a deep breath before winding my way through the tables to sit at an empty one in the back. My gaze slid over the people at the tables around me; it settled on Carrie who focused intently on her sandwich.
A pang of betrayal and longing speared through me. I should be used to this shunning and loneliness by now, but I wasn’t. The apple I bit into felt like lead in my mouth; it took all I had to swallow it down as tears burned in my chest. I missed my brothers, my home, and Lisa; I missed not being an oddity. I missed companionship and people who cared for me. I missed Gage’s smile and Bailey’s giggles. I even missed his atrociously stinky diapers.
I placed the apple on my tray and poked at the sandwich on my plate. The more curious and distrustful stares came my way, the less of an appetite I had. The shifting of the table alerted me someone had sat down across from me; I knew it was Kobal without having to look at him.
Lifting my head, I found his pure black eyes staring back at me. I’d become acutely attuned to his presence over the past few weeks. Around us, the talk died down and I saw the startled expressions of those closest to us as they gawked at Kobal. He didn’t notice any of them, or at least he paid them no mind as his attention centered on me. The way he looked at me made my insides turn to goo.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” he inquired. I glanced at my plate before pushing it away. “You’re going to need your energy for training later.”
“I’m not hungry.”
His gaze slid over the people surrounding us before he leaned back on the bench and stretched his legs out before him. “Humans are such strange creatures.”
“Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?”
His eyes glimmered like obsidian in the light of the room when he looked at me again. I’d never seen him in here before; his massive size and aura of power was completely out of place in this world built for teens but taken over by volunteers and soldiers.
“You’re not entirely an average person, River,” he said with a tight smile, as if the reminder somehow displeased him.
“So you suspect.”And so Ifeeldeep in my gut.
“No matter what you say, or what I suspect, you’re the only mortal here who can throw flames with her hands.”
“I haven’t done it since that day on the field. It may have been a fluke.”
“No fluke. We just haven’t figured out what to do to get you to do it.”
“Hmm,” I murmured.
“You should eat.”
“I should be doing a lot of things I’m not.”
“Like what?” he inquired.
“Like being with my family, like sitting with my friends.” I glanced around the room and shook my head. “Never mind, you wouldn’t understand.”
“I told you people would be apprehensive.”
“You did,” I agreed.
“Come.”
He rose to his full height, towering over me as he stood with his hands resting on the table. I frowned at him before rising and walking around the table to join him. His hand clasped my elbow, and he started to lead me out of the cafeteria. The heat of his body enveloped me, and I instinctively moved closer to him, needing to feel more of his strength as whispers and murmurs ratcheted up to swirl around us. My stomach turned, but I thrust out my chin and kept my gaze focused ahead of me.
“Where are we going?” I inquired.
“Somewhere you can have some peace.”
“I have nothing but peace in here,” I replied with a bitter laugh.
