“Bitch,” she spat.
At least she was coming up with something new. I turned my attention away from her. I wouldn’t be gaining anyone’s trust by kicking the crap out of her right now.
“I had him first,” she taunted.
Despite my every intention not to acknowledge her again, my eyes flew back to her. My teeth grated together and something crackled. Glancing down, I jerked my hand back and shoved it in my pocket when a golden-white spark shot across my fingertips.
Emotion,I realized,strongemotion was what caused that ability to burst forth.
Finally, I had some knowledge of this inner ability. The only problem was I could feel the sparks crackling between my fingers now and I had no idea how to stop them.
These people had been afraid enough of my ability to emit fire; they would run screaming if I threw this at them too. They could see the demons weren’t like them, but I’d blended in. I’d been one of them, even if older than a normal volunteer, but still completely human looking in every possible way, until I’d lit a monster on fire. If I turned into a life-force conductor that shot sparks, I’d have no shot of ever having one of them trust me again.
What does it matter? What do you care what they think of you? You’re not one of them, not really.
I didn’t know why, but for some reason it did matter. Maybe it was because even with all of my oddities, I still felt like one of them. I’d been human for all but two months of my life. Those two months had completely changed the way I saw everything and upended what had been a mostly normal life. I wanted some normalcy again, and people represented that to me.
I had to get away from this woman before I lost complete control. Grabbing a sandwich, I didn’t bother to look at what it was before I slapped it on my tray and turned away.
“You’ll get what you deserve, bitch,” she spat at me.
I stopped, my eyes narrowing on her. “I already did get him.”
Keeping my chin lifted, I strode through the crowd toward where Kobal stood with Bale, Shax, and Corson. He took my tray from me and carried it outside with the others flanking behind us. I refused to look at her again, but I couldn’t shake the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I felt the woman’s eyes burning into my back.
CHAPTER 39
River
Over the next week, I spent what little spare time I had alone concentrating on drawing out and controlling the pull of life. I didn’t tell Kobal that I’d discovered intense emotion was the key to getting it to work. I was looking forward to surprising him with my ability to control it and use it as a weapon.
On the field, when it was only the two of us, I didn’t hide I was getting better with it from him, I just didn’t reveal to himhowmuch better I’d gotten. I’d reveal it to him before we left, in five days. It was all going by so fast, but the fact we were leaving soon was the only reason I had as much alone time as I did. Kobal’s attention had become focused on working with Mac on selecting the soldiers who would be leaving with us.
Now, I sat and watched the rigorous training those soldiers endured on the hill, wincing when they were repeatedly taken down by the demons who held nothing back from them as they did with the volunteers. The soldiers weren’t allowed to use guns, not now, but they wielded swords, katanas, knives, and any other weapon they could against the demons.
They were allowed to go after anything except for heads when they attacked the demons. Apparently, demon heads were the only things that didn’t grow back when lopped off. The discovery was both a little disconcerting and fascinating. It took a demon anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days to regenerate the lost piece of themselves, depending on the size of the missing body part and the strength of the demon.
Few of the humans managed to succeed in freeing a demon of their hand, arm, foot, or leg. The ones who did were instantly separated into another group. I believed it meant they’d gotten an upgrade on their chances of getting a trip to Hell. I wasn’t so sure it was a good thing, but then, they knew what they were signing up for. It had not been kept from them.
The last thing Kobal wanted were humans who preferred not to be on the mission. I thought he’d had enough of that with my start here, and they didn’t have the time to work with these soldiers that he’d spent with me. I still missed my brothers dearly, but I’d come to accept my place here and what I was. I may not have liked it in the beginning, but was being able to throw fire and draw on the life of things around me really so bad?
It would have actually been pretty freaking fantastic, if it hadn’t made me the spawn of Lucifer and the main hope for demons and humans to somehow right the wrongs the angels had started six thousand years ago, and the humans had escalated thirteen years ago.
I tried not to let my anxiety show, but the closer it came to the day when we would be leaving, the more doubt and terror ate at me. What if I wasn’t able to do anything with the gate? What if I failed? What then? What was Lucifer, the fallen angel who had created my line, like?
I hated that I was curious about him, but I couldn’t help it. If I failed to close the gateway, would I be expected to enter Hell and take Lucifer himself on? The idea made my pulse race and my mouth go dry.
I would do anything I could to keep my brothers safe from the horrors lurking on this side of the wall, but I wasn’t ready to die. However, I didn’t think there was any way Icouldsurvive a fight with Lucifer when millennia plus, regenerating, immortal demons hadn’t been able to take him out in six thousand years.
I shut the thought down; giving into the uncertainty trying to swamp me would donoone any good, least of all me. We still had to make it to the gateway before anything else could be a concern. That had to be my main focus, getting strong enough to travel through areas devastated by demons and nukes. It should be a piece of cake.
As the day for departure drew closer, messages were sent to the other demons at the other bases around the country. They were also preparing themselves and gathering humans to head into the deadened interior of our country.
So many would die if I failed. I had to get back to practicing. Rising to my feet, I wiped my ass off as I watched a pretty soldier with black hair, almond-shaped eyes, and a creamy complexion being led toward another soldier who had recently been separated from the main group. The woman nodded to the man with close-cropped black hair and a deep olive complexion.
Earlier, I’d watched the man succeed in slicing an ear from one of the demons. Now, a demon walked past the two human soldiers, holding his stumpy wrist. I couldn’t help but smile when the woman with almond-shaped eyes and black hair smiled with pride at the scowling demon. Her blue eyes twinkled in the sunlight shining down on her as she exchanged a high-five with the man with a swarthy complexion, black hair, and brown eyes.
Longing spread through me as I watched the easy comradery they shared. I’d had that with Gage and Lisa; I’d been accepted and loved. I had Kobal now. It wasn’t the same, but my love for him was growing every day, and I’d discovered a happiness with him that I hadn’t expected to find when I’d first arrived here. I belonged with him, but I still missed the simplicity and acceptance of those lost days with my family and friends.
