“Callie,” he breathed.
She couldn’t look at him as she kept her head turned away. If she screamed, one of the others might hear her and come to help. She didn’t doubt they loved Lucien and their loyalty was with him, but they wouldn’t let him kill her.
“Callie, I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispered.
Callie kept her hands over her head to protect herself from him, but she dared to turn her head and peer up at him. He remained standing over her, but a look of abject horror had replaced the coldness on his face and in his eyes.
He reached for her, but she slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me!” she spat.
Lucien recoiled and held his hands up as he edged away. Self-hatred swamped him as he stared at the backs of his hands.What did I do?
He barely recognized himself. When he was starved and deprived and trying to save her, he’d had a reason for scaring her, but things were different now. She was hismate. He cared for her and loved her more than he’d ever cared for and loved anyone. The words may not be easy for him to say, but she was his everything, and he’d… he’d….
He’d been an out of control monster. It took everything he had not to batter the walls. If it wouldn’t scare her further, he would destroy every inch of these walls as the demon sought to break free of its cage. It seethed and twisted and demanded to change her as he battled to keep it locked away.
He’d spent centuries fighting his malevolent nature; he would not allow it to win now when he was so close to finding happiness with her.
Callie tried to push herself away from the wall, but she didn’t trust her legs to support her. She was still too caught between the present and the past to have full control of herself.
Tears burned her eyes, and she blinked them away. She refused to let him see her cry. Resting her hand on the wall, she steadied herself as he stepped toward her again.
“Stay away from me!” she ordered.
Lucien watched helplessly as her head bowed. The black curtain of her hair fell forward to shield her features. He ached for the distress she emanated.What have I done?
“Callie, please forgive me. I won’t hurt you.”
“No, you’ll just try to bully me around. Maybe it’s not physical hurt, but it’s still hurt.”
Her voice quivered, and she had to blink faster to suppress the tears burning her eyes.
Lucien had never hated himself more. He had to fix this, but he had no idea how.
“It willneverhappen again. I’m just… just….”
Callie lifted her head and scowled at him. “An asshole?”
“Yes,” he admitted.
But since meeting her, he’d become a lot less of one. However, he’d been agiganticasshole to her and treated her horribly.
“You make me a better man,” he said. “But I’m not just a man; I’m also part demon, and I haven’t claimed my mate. Because of that, I’m losing it. That’s no excuse for how I treated you, and I will hate myself forever for what happened here today, but I can’t lose you. Without you, I will become a monster. When you said, you would leave….”
His words trailed off as rage burned through him again. He stepped further away as he struggled to regain control of himself.
Callie saw the unraveling within him as he edged further away from her. She was still irate, but watching him, she realized he wasn’t himself. This was not the Lucien she’d come to love over the past few weeks. This was not the Lucien who owned her heart.
This Lucien’s eyes shifted between black and red like a blinking stoplight. His fisted hands shook as the veins in his arms stood out. Behind his lips was the outline of his fangs. Some of her exasperation ebbed when she saw his strain.
“Is this normal for vampires?” she asked.
“It is for a vampire who hasn’t completely claimed their mate.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“Because you’ve had enough to deal with, and I was trying to give you time to adjust to everything that has happened. I also believed I could control it better, but when it comes to you, I’m far weaker than I ever realized. The idea of losing you….” His eyes blazed red again as he bared his fangs. “I would burn this world down if I lost you.”
He still hadn’t told her he loved her, but that sentence spoke more of his love for her than those three little words.
