His jaw jutted out, and his mouth pursed infrustration. “We don’t have much time together.”
“No, we don’t.”
“Will you ever be able to come back tous?”
“I’m going to do everything I can to makethat happen,” I vowed. “No matter what it takes.”
I didn’t look at Shax as I made this promise.I was afraid he’d be shaking his head no at me again, but if Isomehow survived this journey to Hell, then I planned to reunitewith my brothers no matter what it took.
“Tell me what has been going on in town, howeveryone is doing. Is there any new gossip?” I asked. “What haveyou been doing?”
He settled in beside me with his shoulderagainst mine. He revealed the goings on around town and how he’dstarted to see more of this girl named Cherry. I’d noticed herinterest in him before I’d been taken away. His head fell againstmy shoulder as he spoke and he stifled a yawn. I wrapped my armaround him, holding him close as his voice became more muffled.
I’d been thinking how grown he’d become, yethe snuggled against me much like he used to do when he was a baby.While the war was raging, I would lay awake at night, holding himand praying we would survive to see the morning. After the war,Gage had been plagued by nightmares. He’d often wake in the middleof the night and come to my room. He’d known better than to turn toour mother.
When he’d turned eight, I’d sometimes wake tohear him crying out in the night, but he had decided he was too oldto crawl into bed with me. For all I knew, he still had nightmares,but he’d stopped talking about them after Bailey was born and he’dstarted keeping his bedroom door closed. He was determined to bethe strong, big brother for Bailey.
I lifted my head to stare at the ceiling,fighting against the tears filling my eyes as I felt their warmbreaths on my skin and inhaled their familiar, loved scents. Kobalhad done this, and though he’d brought all the families of thosewho would be leaving tomorrow here, I knew he’d done this for me.I’d never be able to thank him enough.
Bowing my head, I pressed my cheek againstGage’s head. I tried not to fall asleep, what little time we hadleft together would go by too fast if I did, but sleep dragged meinto its depths anyway.
***
Kobal
Standing in one of the hallways branching offthe cafeteria, I watched as River ran and embraced her brothers.The youngest one stuck his arms out to her, eagerly going to herwhen she took hold of him. The older one beamed as he hugged her.The corners of my mouth twitched at the radiant smile on her faceand the joy in her eyes.
So rare her smile, so fleeting. I felt likeit had been months instead of days since I’d last seen it. Shedidn’t smile at me anymore, and she seldom had a reason to smilewhen she was around the humans. They barely spoke to her and mostof the time they didn’t bother to acknowledge her existence.
It had to be lonely for her here. I’d neverconsidered that until I saw the tears brimming in her eyes at thesight of her brothers. The faint freckles on her nose were morevisible in the harsh light, as was the scar at the corner of herright eye. A scar she’d received as a child from an incidentinvolving a fishing hook. The polished, seashell necklace shealways wore shone in the lights overhead.
The pure violet of her eyes twinkled, causingthem to stand out vibrantly against her sun-kissed skin andpitch-black hair. My greedy gaze ran over her round face and proudchin as I memorized this look of sheer joy on her face. Manywouldn’t consider her beautiful, but more pretty. To me, she wasthe most beautiful woman in the world. I would give anything togive her this happiness every day for the rest of her life.Instead, I was going to be tearing her away from this happiness todrag her into an endless nightmare that she may not survive.
It was the only way to save us all, and shewas far stronger than even she believed. She’d survived againstmadagans and revenirs already; she’d withstood the distrust andseclusion she’d endured in this camp. She’d also taken everythingI’d thrown at her in training and then again in my bed.
I’d been so determined to go easy with herwhile I was within her. She was mortal, I didn’t want to harm her,but she’d never allowed me to keep myself restrained and had takenmy marking of her flesh, my claiming of her, and my insatiableappetite for her body with an eagerness that more than matchedmine. I’d never believed I would find my Chosen, and certainlyhadn’t expected for my Chosen to be the mortal daughter of Lucifer,my greatest enemy, but she’d been more than I ever could haveimagined from my Chosen, and by her own choice, she was no longermine.
I should walk away from her and give her thefreedom she’d requested from me, but I couldn’t. I had no choice inthe matter; she had to stay with me. I was the only one who couldkeep her safe from the looming threat ahead of us, and she may bethe only one capable of putting a stop to Lucifer’s reign ofterror.
Lucifer had already managed to break one ofthe seals of Hell. If he succeeded in breaking more while thegateway was still open, no wall would be able to keep the horrorsliving within Hell away from the human race.
I couldn’t let River go back to her old life.Her old life wouldn’t be there for much longer if I did let herreturn to it and the gateway remained open.
Besides, she was mine. She was angry with menow, and I knew I’d handled the situation with the woman who triedto kill her poorly, but when I witnessed her lunging at River witha knife, I reacted as I should have and slaughtered her. Theappalled expression on River’s blood-splattered face when she’dgazed at me as if she didn’t know who I was afterward was foreveremblazoned in my mind. I’d hated that look and that I was the oneto cause it.
If I could change things, I still would havekilled the woman, but I would have done it in a much more privatesetting, far away from River and human eyes. As much as I didn’tlike it, we were a part of the human world now, and I had toconsider them.Noneof them hadtaken the woman’s death well.
They’d all been exceptionally distrustful ofthe demons afterward, but especially me. That was why I’d had Macgather all of the families here instead of just River’s. Theoriginal plan was to bring only River’s family to the wall, but wedecided to bring them all here as a gesture of goodwill and toremind the soldiers what they were fighting for. I resented havingto do anything to coddle the inferior, overly sensitive humanspecies, but I’d do it all over again to see the radiant look onRiver’s face.
I’d get her back, but I wouldn’t apologizefor killing that woman. It had been necessary. River would comearound eventually; she had to. Hopefully, sooner rather than lateras I didn’t think I could take much more of this separation fromher.
Every night I lay awake, listening to hersleeping, inhaling the scent of her. I tormented myself withmemories of what it had been like to be inside of her and to holdher close against my chest while she slept. I couldn’t take itanymore, and for the past two nights, I’d slept on the ground alittle distance away from the tent. Outside, I couldn’t hear hersighs as she tossed about in her restless sleep.
I’d half expected her to walk back into mydreams, but the real her had yet to return to them, while I heldthe dream version of her in my sleep. I didn’t know if that wasbecause she had completely shut me out, or if it was because shehad shut everything out after she’d connected with Lucifer.
Resting my hands on the sides of the metaldoor leading to the cafeteria, my claws extended to dig into theconcrete wall as I watched her sit in a corner with her family.Their heads bent close together while they eagerly spoke with oneanother. Her brothers’ coloring was opposite of hers, but I couldsee some similarity in all of their features. The way they tiltedtheir heads or waved their hands in the air was especially alike asthey interacted with each other. The smallest one, Bailey, Iremembered her saying, gripped her shirt with his tiny fists andclosed his eyes.
This is how she would look holding ourchildren; she’d shower them with the same affection and glow withlove for them like she did for her brothers. I wanted it so badly Ishuddered with the need for it before recalling she’d told me toget out of her life. My claws tore holes into the wall; the brokenbits of concrete clattered against the tile when they fell aroundmy feet. I slammed my hands against the wall and turned away.
