A twinge of regret tugged at Melanie. She’dspent over three years here, and all she would have to show for itwas a degree.
These people would leave here with friends,lovers, some with marriages, and a few with children. They’d comehere and embraced the college lifestyle. They’d opened themselvesup to everything it had to offer.
Three short years ago, she’d come here withthe same intentions. Melanie was determined to enjoy everything anormal life had to offer, but she soon realized she could nevertruly do that.
Her life was as far from normal as it got,and no matter how hard she tried to stop it, her awareness of thatabnormality bled into her days all the time.
Sure, many of the people here were trying toreinvent themselves after high school, but they didn’t have herbizarre background.
And even if she could become a whole newMelanie, she would have to constantly lie to everyone she becamefriends with about her past. They never talked about it, but shesuspected Lucy had come to the same conclusion.
Lucy originally joined the clubs, attendedthe parties, and threw herself into the social life more thanMelanie. But after a couple of months, she drifted away from theclubs and the people always inviting her out.
They’d fled their pasts and came heretogether, but they could never escape themselves. And now thatcollege was almost over, she had no idea what lay ahead of her. Sheintended to get her master's in social work, but then what?
She had no idea. She’d run as far from herpast as possible, but it would never let her go.
So what would she do after college? Get a joband… what? Continue to live like a normal person while always lyingabout her upbringing and her father? And what if she met someone?How could she possibly build a life with them if she had to lie tothem about who she was all the time?
And there was absolutely no way she couldever tell them the truth. Not only would they never believe her,but they’d probably run screaming for the door. Even if they didbelieve her, they’d probably run, and she couldn’t blame them ifthey did.
Three years ago, she arrived here with somuch hope, but it had died as reality sank in. Now, she had as manyuncertainties as when she was trapped with her father and theothers.
Growing up, she’d always feared her fatherwould never set her free. Then, she’d been set free, but after afew months of freedom, it sank in that they’d clipped her wingswithout her realizing it. So, instead of plunging into the collegelifestyle as she’d planned, she skirted the edges of it while shewaited for something to rip it away.
She and Lucy stopped to refill their drinksbefore continuing to a back room with a pool table and dartboards.The room was crowded but not as much as the rest of the house.
Melanie settled into a chair and tried torelax as she sipped her beer. These parties weren’t her thing, butshe forced herself to attend at least some of them. She may neverhave fully immersed herself in the college lifestyle or establishedany lifelong relationships, but she tried to enjoy as much as shecould.
So, she attended the parties with Lucy,danced, and talked with the people attending. She never exchangednumbers because, even if she liked the people she met, she wouldn’tmake plans with them again.
Talking for one night, laughing, and sharingdrinks was one thing. Getting together again led to people wantingto learn more about her, and she didn’t have answers to theirquestions.
However, she wouldn’t leave school withnothing. She’d have memories of laughter and parties and people shetruly liked, even if she never learned more about them. They wouldbe bittersweet memories, but those were far better than only havingmemories of the apartment she shared with Lucy and herclassrooms.
She sipped her beer and welcomed the warmthof the alcohol seeping through her system. A young man playing poolsmiled and waved at her. She smiled back as her thoughts returnedto Kyle.
She couldn’t help wondering what it would belike to get to know him a little better. As soon as the ideacrossed her mind, she shut it down, but it kept niggling at theedges of her brain.
Drinking more of her beer, she attempted todrown it out.
CHAPTER 3
An hour later, whenshe felt buzzed and happy, Melanie made her way back through thehouse. The rational part of her mind kept telling her to stop, butthe beer and a shot of tequila had hushed the rational part alot.
Twenty minutes ago, Lucy wandered off with apretty young girl, and Melanie hadn’t seen her since. Lucy hadn’tleft, she wouldn’t do that without letting Melanie know first, butit would probably be a while before she saw her again.
Melanie wiped away the sweat beading on herbrow before tugging at the shirt clinging to her damp skin. As thenight progressed and more people filled the rooms, the house becameincreasingly like a sauna.
She found Kyle almost exactly where she lastsaw him. He was dancing with a couple of girls who were practicallydrooling on him. An unexpected knot of jealousy lodged in her chestand festered there. She willed her feet to turn around and go back,but the traitorous bastards didn’t move.
Instead, she found herself admiring the wayhis jeans hugged his firm ass and the obvious bulge in the front ofthem. To quench her growing lust, she took another sip of beer, butit doused her growing desire as much as gasoline extinguished afire.
She’d had a few sexual experiences sincecoming to college, but none of them were overly exciting. They werejust guys who piqued her interest.
Though she saw two of them on a fairlyregular basis, they never shared anything beyond their one nightwith each other. She never saw the third guy again.
She supposed, technically, they could all beconsidered one-night stands, but she didn’t look at them that way.They were her experiences, and she didn’t regret them.
