I didn’t know it then.
I knew it now.
Still, while I regretted many of my choices, I didn’t regret becoming the Robber. Many hungry amsirah had eaten because of me.
I hadn’t been as much help as I’d hoped when I first put on that outfit and started stealing, but at least I did some good. It had to be enough, because if it wasn’t, that meant I’d destroyed my life, devastated Ryker, and would upset my mother fornothing.
I was going to hand myself over to powerful amsirah, who would use and abuse me for nothing. It couldn’t all be for nothing.
I wanted to cry, but I didn’t have any tears left in me. I’d shed them all after Ryker walked away from me in the woods.
Now, I was a broken, empty shell walking toward my eventual demise. My feet scuffed the wooden stairs as I dragged them up the steps toward my room; I didn’t have the energy to lift them any higher.
If I packed everything now, I could make it to the palace by nightfall. I would have to ride Adira there as I’d opened a portal to Tucker’s encampment and another one back home.
The two portals so close together hadn’t completely drained me of energy, but I was pretty close to burnout, or maybe it was emotional exhaustion weighing me down. Either way, I couldn’t open another portal to the palace.
I wasn’t capable of packing today, either. It had been weeks since I’d slept more than an hour or two at a time and done more than pick at food.
I had to get to my mother, but after opening my door, I barely made it to my bed before collapsing onto it. I pulled one of my pillows against my chest, curled into a ball, and lay there.
Soon, I’d go to the palace and give myself over to them, but I was too exhausted to do anything more than sleep.
CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO
Ryker
“Didshe tell you who the Hooded Robber is?” Tucker demanded as soon as I emerged from the woods.
“Yes,” I grated through my teeth.
Tucker stepped away from me. I didn’t know what he saw on my face, but it made him uneasy. “Who is it?”
I glanced around the clearing outside the bordello. I’d like nothing more than to go in there, drink myself into a stupor, and finally fuck someone else as I’d planned, but that was before discovering Ellery was the Hooded Robber and alightning bearer.
I had no idea what to do now, but I was afraid if I entered the bordello, I’d end up killing someone. Tucker was safe… few others were.
My nails peeled back more of the flesh from my palms. Blood welled forth and dripped onto the forest floor as the sun filtering through the trees beat down on me. Sweat beaded across my forehead and slid down my nape.
“Stay here,” I told him.
Instead of going inside, I opened a portal into an overgrown section of forest and closed it behind me. I stood, listening to the rustle of the leaves and the distant call of something deadly before I unleashed my fury and despair on the trees and bushes surrounding me.
Electricity shot through my fingertips as lightning rained down from the sky, pummeled the earth and exploded the towering structures around me. Fire rose from the ground, devoured the bushes, and crackled as it enclosed me in a wave of heat.
I relished its fury and fed on it as lightning pummeled the earth. Craters indented the ground around me as lightning zipped from one tree to another; electricity circled me, creating a ball of white-hot energy.
I couldn’t hear anything beyond the crackle and pop of my power as all my hair stood on end and my body vibrated from the power encapsulating and unleashing from it. The lightning became a firestorm that swelled higher into the trees.
It towered over me as I continued feeding it. I’d never unleashed myself in this way before; not even after Ellery ended things with me did I become this savage.
What has she done to me? What did Ilether do?
All the lies, all the betrayals, and all the secrets churned through my mind as the growing fire roared and lightning snapped around me. I couldn’t hear anything beyond the cacophony encircling me and the chaos inside my head.
How did I let myself trust her? How did she fool me so completely?
I’d believed she was sweet… well, not sweet; she was stubborn, determined, and fierce, but I’d thought she was someone I could trust and who didn’t have any secrets from me. A bitter laugh escaped me at how wrong I’d been.
