Ruby had been doing this ever since my mother’s death. I suspected she might try to feed me for the rest of my life, but while Ireallyappreciated it, I’d soon have to tell her it wasn’t necessary. I could feed myself, although the idea of cooking for one was incredibly depressing.
“I’m coming with you,” Ryker stated.
We hadn’t spent a night apart since the earl’s ball, but after our fight in the woods, I hadn’t known what to expect from him. “Are you sure you want to be around me?”
His eyes returned to their beautiful silver hue when they met mine. “I always want to be around you. I’m not happy about any of this, and I know you’re not either, but I’ve spent too many nights away from you. I won’t let a disagreement keep us apart.”
“Good.”
CHAPTER NINETY-TWO
Ellery
I fellasleep with Ryker’s arms locked securely around me and woke to muttered rambling as he jerked beside me. A bolt of adrenaline caused me to shoot up in bed; I searched for a threat but didn’t see anything.
Lying beside me, Ryker had kicked off the blankets to expose his long body. The moonlight spilling through the windows bathed it in a silvery glow. I’d closed all the drapes downstairs but left the ones up here open to allow the summer breeze in.
While we hadn’t had sex since my mother died, he still slept naked. Over our time together, I’d gotten to know his body extremely well. It was large and powerful, lethal yet tender when necessary, and covered with the hundreds of scars that were a roadmap to his past.
My fingers settled on his shoulder when he twitched, and his face contorted. His broad shoulders hunched in a little, and his chiseled abs contracted like he’d received a blow.
He’s having a nightmare.
The scars crisscrossing his chest, abdomen, and legs stood out, as did the veins running through his arms when his hands clenched. The muscles in his neck became more visible when his heels dug into the mattress.
I’d experienced a couple of his nightmares before, but I’d never seen anything like this. Normally, he twitched and sometimes muttered in his sleep.
This time, he looked like he was reliving his past as he thrashed. Witnessing what happened earlier had unleashed something in him and brought back to life all the brutal things he’d endured over his lifetime.
He was now trapped in this nightmare, reliving the worst times of his life and at the mercy of his mind. My heart ached as I moved my fingers to his newest scar.
He’d received it when he took an arrow for me; while it was fading, the proof of his willingness to sacrifice himself for me remained. And now he was suffering.
I couldn’t take away everything he’d endured, but I couldn’t let him remain trapped. “Ryker.”
Lifting my hand, I rested it against his stubble-roughened cheek. It took more strength than I’d expected to turn his head toward me. “Ryker.”
His body jerked again, and he grunted as he bared his teeth at me. He didn’t do this in a menacing manner; it was more like he was trying to hold back a scream.
Tears burned my eyes. I’d endured a lot in my short life, but my losses were nothing compared to everything he’d gone through.
He could be dreaming of his father now, reliving the time when he was a helpless child and at the mercy of the man who was supposed to love him most. Instead, that heartless bastard was determined to beat him into submission.
He could also be dreaming of the ophidians who tortured him for months. Or maybe it was the Ghoul War and all he’d seen there, but I doubted it.
With the way he was reacting, I suspected this dream consisted of a whip, blood, and agony. He’d been injured during the Ghoul War but never whipped.
“Ryker, please.” I removed my hand from his face and grasped his shoulders to shake him. “Ryker, you have to wake up.”
He didn’t respond as the memories held him captive, and his back bowed off the mattress until only his head and heels touched the bed. I had to wake him.
“Ryker!” I shook him harder as his body jerked in the air. “RYKER!”
My scream finally pierced through to him, and his eyes flew open. They were as black as night as he stared at the ceiling with only his head and heels connected to the bed.
He stayed like that for far too many seconds before his body collapsed, and he flopped onto the mattress. I almost threw myself on top of him before catching myself. He was probably disoriented and trying to rid himself of the nightmare; he didn’t need me flinging myself on top of him.
I rested my hand against his cheek again as he remained unblinking while staring at the ceiling. He was awake but still locked in a distant time and place.
