I would have to figure out what to do about Bria and my father, but she was a concern for another day. Right now, I had to figure out how to get Ellery alone, and the only thing I could think to do was tell her the truth.
But the truth posed a major problem. I didn’t like the idea of making myself vulnerable to her or anyone else.
It has to come out eventually; why not now?
And that was a very good question. I would do whatever it took to get her to listen to me and have her as mine again, even if it meant opening myself up to her in a way I hadn’t since learning she’d lied about the Hooded Robber and walked out of my life.
But am I ready for that?
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Ellery
I almost meltedinto his embrace when Ryker’s arms swept around me, and he dipped me. I remained stiff as I guarded my heart and body against him.
His lips brushed my ear. “I’m sorry, Ellery. I love you. Meet me in the garden.”
My eyes widened, but before I could respond, he lifted me and spun me toward the next man. I stumbled and nearly tripped over the man’s feet as Ryker’s words rebounded in my head.
He loved me. Had he really said that?
I’d never heard the words from him, but I was certain that’s what he’d said.He loves me.
Unable to concentrate between the excitement and uncertainty cascading through me, I bumped into another dancer before righting myself. I had to get it together before I drew attention to myself. I was sure the duke would have questions about what had me so rattled if he noticed my new, jerky moves.
I steadied my trembling hand as I wrapped my arm around my next partner’s.Ryker loves me.
Or did he just say that to get me to meet him?
But the second the doubt ran through my mind, I knew it was wrong. Ryker would never say such a thing to get his way. He was many things, but he wasn’t manipulative and didn’t play games with others… that was his father.
If he’d said the words, he meant them. I couldn’t stop myself from grinning like an idiot, though I should have been protecting my heart. He’d said he loved me, but that didn’t mean he wanted anything more from me.
I’d hurt him badly and wasn’t sure he could forgive me. And I couldn’t be with someone who constantly held my past mistakes against me.
I wanted to get my hopes up that those words meant we could move beyond our past, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what any of this meant anymore.
Thankfully, as discombobulated as I was after those words, I didn’t encounter the duke again, and the music ended shortly after my last dance with Ryker. Stepping away from the line, I had to concentrate on walking normally as I slipped away from the crowd.
As I moved, I searched the crowd for Ryker but didn’t see him among the guests. My mind spun, and my stomach churned as I tried to figure out what to do.
After those words, I had to talk to him, but meeting him while the duke was here was extremely risky. What if he noticed we were both gone?
However, Ryker’s words haunted me.I love you.
It was the first time he’d said it to me. It was the first time I’d believed there was a chance hedidlove me.
Before his father threatened me and told me to end things with Ryker, I’d believed he cared for me. Back in those earlydays, he’d told me things he’d never told another and held me so tenderly, but I wasn’t sure how deep his feelings ran.
Had he loved me then? I didn’t know the answer to that.
But I did know that so much had changed since those early days. After I’d hid things from him, he’d put up a wall against me, and I understood why. I’d left him, lied to him, and hurt him deeply.
I’d come to believe that wall would never come down.
Things had been so arduous between us for so long that I was sure I’d broken us forever, but he’d asked me to meet him in the garden because he loved me. If he’d said those words, he meant them, but why would he suddenly say them now? What had brought about this change?
Just yesterday morning, after having sex again, I’d woke to discover him gone from beside me as he’d distanced himself from me yet again. What had brought about this sudden change from yesterday to tonight?
