While I worried about him being here, I was also relieved and happy he’d returned. I’d tried not to think of him in Nottingshire with that smoke, but it was impossible not to worry.
As I walked toward him, he pulled a carrot from his pocket and gave it to Adira. I stopped beside him as she crunched on the carrot and nuzzled him with her muzzle. Normally, she wasn’t friendly toward those she didn’t know, but it didn’t surprise me that he already had her eating out of his palm. He had a way with animals.
I stopped beside him and leaned against the wall. “What caused the fire?”
Ryker gave Adira another carrot. When she finished with it, she lifted her head and turned toward the back of her stall.
The set of Ryker’s shoulders and how he stared after her caused a pit to form in my stomach. Something bad had happened.
“Ryker….”
When he turned to me, my words trailed away at the remorse in his eyes. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what happened.
“I never should have interfered,” he said. “I should have let them torture those rebels and stayed out of it.”
“Ryker—”
“It was a mistake, and I put you and everyone else in danger because of it.”
“Everyone there chose to be there. A lot of us were involved, and none of us stopped it.”
“You and Ianto tried to.”
“At first, but we agreed to go with you. I could have fought you harder; I chose not to.”
“If you had fought me more, you still wouldn’t have won.”
“I know, but I could have refused to go or kept my lightning leashed. I could have done a million different things too, but I didn’t…wedidn’t.”
When he cupped my cheek in his palm, I leaned into his touch as he caressed my face with his thumb.
“I never should have let my emotions rule me when it came to those prisoners. I’ve always been so disciplined, but I refused to see the big picture when it came to them.”
“I must be rubbing off on you. You’re becoming more reckless and emotional.”
“But you weren’t reckless about them. You were right.”
“Was I? We rescued twenty-five amsirah last night.”
“We lost some of Tucker’s followers, and how many more innocents will die because of my decision?”
“How many amsirah will rally around us because we fought to save them? Because we fed their families, gave them carisle, and are trying to help? What we did last night will show them we’re on their side.
“Luna said, if they’d known we were working to build a rebellion, they might not have revolted against the earl. Now, theyallknow someone is robbing and fighting forthem.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“They shouldn’t know about you yet.”
“Maybe they should. Maybe the amsirah should have known months ago that I exist and stand forthem. Besides, we knew this time would come. Now that it’s here, we have to do our best to make it work toouradvantage.”
“I’d hoped to be better prepared for this.”
“We were as prepared as we were ever going to be. Not everything goes to plan. Leo would still be alive if it did, and we wouldn’t be dealing with Ivan. If there’s anything we’ve learned over the years, it’s that planning for the future is useless. All we can do is hope and pray the plans wedomake fall into place as they’re supposed to, but we know anything can happen to derail the simplest plans. You’re so old that youmustalready know this.”
I’d hoped to tease a smile from him, and it worked as the corners of his mouth twitched a little. Resting his hands on my hips, he pulled me closer.
