I nod, temporarily wordless.
“You’re never awful. You’re strong-willed. You fiercely defend the causes you believe in.”
“And you love difficult women.” I try to smile, but it’s hard, looking at his bandaged eye.
“I lovecomplicatedwomen. Who wants to be bored?”
“I bet Pansy would be pretty interesting.”
“That’s not the kind of interesting I want in my life.”
He’s quiet for a moment before he admits, “Back in high school, I built that robot for you as an apology for my seven minutes screwup. It was a BrewBot, to help with your ginger beer. It monitored temperature, sugar level, and CO2pressure buildup.”
For a moment, I can’t speak. I’m so overcome with emotion that all I can do is feel.
He did that for me?
Back then?
I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he did something so monumental for me.
And I ruined it. Carelessly. And then wrote a sarcastic note apologizing for it because I was hurt by the way he’d exploded at me for something that had been an accident.
I don’t know how I can possibly make up for that.
I love Cormac. I love him as much as my shriveled heart can love anyone, but it feels like it’s not enough. I’ve made such a mess of everything, for so long…
Those awful hot tears keep coursing down my cheeks.
“I shouldn’t have told you that,” he mutters. “It was a bad time to tell you.”
“I love you too. I love you.” I lean over and gently kiss him on the lips. “You’re a madman.”
“You love me?” he whispers, as if he can’t imagine how anyone can love him.
“Of course I do. You’ve made it pretty impossible not to.” I kiss him again, needing to feel his lips, his skin. Needing to show myself he’s not so badly broken.
Then I back away, still on my knees. “I’m going to go call Kenji.”
He wipes the tears from my cheeks. “Yes, save my face. I’ll still be here. I’ll always be here.”
I think I believe him, but I know I shouldn’t let him keep blowing up his life to be there for me at every turn. Because if I do, I’ll be just like my father. Taking, taking, taking.
The gesture I’ve been working on for him doesn’t feel like enough. It feels laughable now that he’s lying here, bleeding, because of me. Because he was worried about the future of The Ginger Station.
Conflicted, I bring the phone out into the hall, barely even caring that the hospital employees will see me looking like a hotmess. I dial the number, only then remembering that Kenji is not only busy but also important. For all I know, he’s in the middle of some major presentation and won’t be available for hours.
I will drive Cormac to Pardee, if I need to, but I want him to have the best care. The best care that any person could have anywhere, and if I have to beg, I will.
Kenji answers on the third ring.
“I get it. You don’t want to move, and that’s fine, I understand why. But tell me you’ll at least consider extending your trip.”
My heart thumps painfully fast. “You want him to move?”
“Who’s this?” he asks, clearly taken aback.
“It’s…it’s Nora. Nora Leigh.”
