“She was trying to control you, but so was I. I should have just been honest with you. The truth is Cormac found out she’d been engaged a couple of times before. You obviously didn’t know, but I wasn’t sure if telling you would be enough.”
He swears and takes a gulp of his drink. “I wasn’t ready to listen. I…I really thought I loved her.”
“I know.”
“She was always different with me. She acted like she needed me. It felt good, being needed like that. Like I could be her hero.”
He probably doesn’t mean for it to be an insult, but it lands like one.
I’m Nora, who takes things too far. Nora, who always plunges into situations without waiting for a boy to help.
Nora, who needs a man who will step up for her anyway.
Nora, who needs Cormac.
That’s why I’m here. If my mom’s right, and Cormac’s not inherently too good for me, then he at least deserves for me to be my best self.
José takes another swig of his whiskey. “If you did all of that for me, why quit now? And why did you shoot me down when I tried talking to you at the bowling alley?”
I take a sip of my drink before answering. “I fell in love with Cormac, but that’s not the only reason.” My lungs feel like they’re full of broken glass, but I have to finish. “It hasn’t felt right here for a while, has it? We…we became codependent. There wasn’t any room in our lives for anyone else. For a life outside of this place. That’s not healthy.”
He rubs his forehead in agitation. “You can’t buy me out, and I need the money if I’m going to shift careers.”
“I know,” I say, my throat hurting. “Which is why we have to sell. Maybe the person who buys this place will choose to keep me on.”
“And you’d be happy with that? Being an employee in a place that used to be half yours?”
Half mine?
At this moment, sitting in our tasting room, I realize it never really felt half mine. It was only ever ours.
I take a deep, shuddering breath and nod. “It’s time to let go, José.”
He hesitates, his eyes on mine, and that awful ache encompasses my whole body. He’s my friend, he gave me my dream, but it’s time for us to go our separate ways. At least for a while. It’s time for us to find out what kind of people we might become without each other.
“I didn’t mean to hit him,” he says, his voice full of regret as he runs a finger over his bandage. “I did it in the heat of the moment. It was a stupid mistake, and I regret it. I’d do anything to make up for it.”
“I’d be less upset if you hadn’t hurt him, but I’d still be saying the same thing.”
“Yeah…” He takes a deep breath too, looking around. “Yeah, I know you’re right. It’s just… I love you, Nora. And I love what we built together.”
“I love you too,” I say without hesitation. “But I’m notinlove with you. I don’t think you were ever in love with me either. We just…we wanted it to be right.”
“Yeah.” He refills both of our drinks. “It would have been so easy.”
Genuine laughter spurts out of me. “You always know what every girl wants to hear.”
His smile is contemplative. “Yeah, but you never wanted me to charm you. You were the one person who saw me, beneath allof the bullshit. And you let me ride your dream with you, Nora. It’s been one hell of a ride.”
“I hope we can be friends again at some point.” My throat feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton balls.
“But not now?”
“You punched the man I love in the face and broke his glasses.”
He smiles. “And you pretended you were in a secret relationship so you could break up my engagement.”
“Yeah, that was pretty shitty too. So I think we both need a break from each other.” My laugh falters halfway through.
