“I’ve met all of your ex-boyfriends,” he says dryly. “I’m one of them. He’s not your type. Not even a little.”
“And Pansy’s yours?” I resist the urge to shove him. Barely. “You hate Bon Jovi, and you almost shit a brick when I set out fuzzy blankets in the tasting room a couple of winters ago. You said it messed up the feng shui. And now your whole apartment looks like it’s covered with dead Muppets.”
He presses both hands against the back of his head, as if I’m causing him a headache, before letting them drop. “It’s…cozy. But this isn’t about Pansy.”
It’sexactlyabout Pansy, since I wouldn’t have to pretend I have a boyfriend, my stepbrother or otherwise, if not for her. But he’s never shown any sense when it comes to her. Even if I told him about the Pads by Pansy extortion bullshit, he’d make up some excuse.Oh, she’s just really excited, orit wasn’t a threat, Nora. She was hoping you’d share her vision of a fuzzier world.
Puke. I can see what Cormac means about the whole marriage thing.
Yes, our parents seem legitimately happy together, but there are just as many couples who are poorly suited. People whoshouldn’t be together and cause nothing but pain and misery for themselves and others.
I take a deep breath in, the way my friend Briar is always telling me to do, and then let it slowly seep out.
“What’s your problem with Cormac?” I ask, my voice simmering but no longer raining fire.
José glances around, probably looking for anyone he might know, and then guides me around the corner, away from the picnic benches and hammocks. There’s not much over here, just some lights extending from the building’s façade, a side door embedded with a big glass window, a couple of round tables shoved close to the wall, and some maples that like to drop whirligigs all over the roof.
“My problem with him?” José hisses. “You’ve hated the guy for months. Hell, years.”
“I’ve never hated him,” I snap back. “He’s just…annoying.”
“And suddenly you’re into him? I don’t buy it.” He paces a couple of steps before stopping in his tracks. “Besides, I was talking to his dad the other day, and it sounds like he’s some kind of genius. He’s up for a Nikola.”
“What the hell’s a Nikola?”
“Some big inventing award. They grant them in the fall. There’s a big ceremony in Washington, D.C.”
Shock zips through me, activating my synapses as I try to connect this piece of information with the Cormac I know, but José’s not done.
“So you’re probably not his type either,” he adds.
I almost stagger. “What, because I barely passed physics? You’re saying he’s too smart for me?”
“No, of course not. I only meant?—”
He stutters to a stop, looking guilty as hell. That wasexactlywhathe was saying, and we both know it.
I could easily end this by telling him the truth. Cormac andI have nothing in common, and we’ve only been thrown together by a series of strange circumstances that led to Pansy walking in on us. But my wounded pride won’t allow it.
“You’ve changed,” I say as heat presses behind my eyes.
I won’t cry. Inevercry, but dammit, I’m mad at him for making me come close.
“So have you,” he says, his tone harsh. “You’ve always been a glass-half-empty person, but ever since your parents split up, you’ve been, all, fuck the glass. It’s exhausting. Pansy likes having fun, and so do I.”
“Fuckyou.” My voice has the absolute nerve to quiver a little, but I steel my spine.
He holds my gaze for a long moment, and I’m slammed with half a dozen memories. Like when we found this building, covered with graffiti and so dirty we’d needed to buy a stronger power washer. We’d looked at each other as soon as we stepped over the threshold, and perfect understanding had flowed between us.This was the place. This was our vision. This was really going to happen, and we were doing it together.
We’d been nothing but friends—true partners—until a couple of years ago. Hours after closing, when it had felt like we were the only two people left awake in the whole world, we kissed in the dark of the tasting room.
We both wanted it to feel like something special, becausewewere special, and this partnership we shared had transformed our lives. We worked so well together. He was good at the things I sucked at, and I was good at the facets of the business he couldn’t wrap his head around.
But our romantic relationship neverfeltspecial.
There was no spark, and the effort of trying to build something that didn’t exist was exhausting.
I was the one who saidwe’re so much better off as friends, and he agreed. It happened not long after my momfinally caught my dad with his pants down, being sucked off by his TA—which led to the inevitable revelation that he had been unfaithful for their entire marriage.
