“You do you, man. You do you.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
NORA
Text conversation with UNKNOWN NUMBER
Hello, secret fake girlfriend.
This is Cormac.
I thought it was my other secret fake boyfriend.
Dammit. I was hoping I was special.
Did your dad tell you that? ;-)
No, your mom did.
OMG, you made a joke that was actually funny. Stop the presses.
Of course you’d laugh at a pedestrian joke.
;-)
Are you free on Friday at noon for the keyhandover?
Yep
I’ll have the manual on Cookie ready.
It’s Friday, less than a week after my mother’s wedding, and I’m listening to the radio as I drive to Cormac’s house.
I am ex-hausted.
I suspect I will only be more exhausted after reviewing Cormac’s manual for feeding his dog. Knowing him, it’s probably fifty pages long, with footnotes.
I should probably pay close attention to it, though, to make up for what I’m putting him through.
Our “ruinous double date” has been set for Thursday evening. It’s rare for both José and I to take the same evening off, but I’ll make an exception. It’s important for us to have our Scooby-Doo moment soon.
Pansy has texted me at least three dozen times over the past week. Some of them have been throwaway texts—dumb memes; dozens of variations on hi, hello, and how are you—and the rest were questions about my fictitious relationship with Cormac and unwelcome prods about Pads by Pansy.
I told my friends about the endless messages, and Hannah pointed out, “At least she’s not texting you anonymous threats anymore.”
True. But at least her anonymous messages required neither a direct nor immediate response. I have to keep the peace with Pansy until I figure out a way to destroy her, so I couldn’t outright ignore her.
Which is why I made the executive decision to offer Pads by Pansy the chance to present a proposal to The Ginger Station next week on a complete redecoration of our bathrooms—the least expensive and intrusive project I could think of.
She’s coming in on Wednesday.
José is going to have to watch the pitch with me, and if ittotally sucks, which I have no doubt it will, I’m going to makehimtell her no.
Maybe her reaction, which is sure to be unhinged, will force him to see reason, and the double date will no longer be a necessity.
Or maybe he’ll think her proposal is brilliant, the double date will pass without a blip, and I’ll have to actually hire her. If she steps in and treats everyone on staff like garbage, surely José will finally wake up and smell the vanilla perfume.
Speaking of José, things have been off between us all week. He did apologize for bailing on the wedding early, though, and acted like he was genuinely interested in getting to know Cormac. (BS. He totally suspects something is up and is trying to prove it, the same way I would.)
