Ever since learning about my emo phase, she’s been desperate to get a hold of photos of me with bangs, heavy eyeliner, and the skeleton beanie I wore everywhere.
Not happening.
“Of course not, Hannah. Who keeps their high school yearbooks? I doubt he even bought one.”
“Worth a try,” she says offhandedly. “Any updates about Project Pansy Pants?”
“Are there ever. Get this. Before Cormac left, he told me Pansy has been engaged two times before. I’m pretty sure José doesn’t know.”
She whistles. “Holy shit. What I would do to be a fly on the wall when you tell him. Wait, can you FaceTime us on your smartwatch?”
Briar bumps shoulders with her. “She doesn’t want to make a spectacle of it. She just wants Pansy Pants to go.”
“I actually would love nothing better than to make a spectacle of it,” I admit, “but I don’t want José to get hurt.”
“That might be inevitable.” Sophie gestures at the screen with her wine glass. “But look at us. Sometimes finding out your significant other is a dirtbag can be the best thing ever.”
I smile, because hell, she’s right. We might never have become friends if we hadn’t all temporarily fallen for Jonah’s BS. Do I still think he’s a spineless sleaze? Absolutely. Did I write down his credit card number before I broke up with him and then order fifteen pounds of manure to be delivered to his house? You bet your ass. But I have to admit it all turned out well.
For us, obviously.
Last I heard, Jonah is working for his dad, which was his personal nightmare.
“I mean it,” Sophie insists.
“So what you’re saying is that we should get José together with all of Pansy’s ex-fiancés, and they’ll form a boy band or something. It’ll be the start of a beautiful friendship.”
“Wait.” Hannah holds up her palms, her expression almost electric with excitement. “That’s a fantastic fucking idea.”
It’s not, although it’s amusing to think about springing Pansy’s exes on her at the dinner on Thursday. “Too bad Cormac won’t even tell me who they are until we have more information.”
Briar laughs. “Sounds like he knows you.”
“Ugh. I wish I were over there with you guys.”
“Rethink that,” Briar says. “Hannah’s obsessed with these Shirtless Chef YouTube videos. It’s basically just this guy with good abs making Italian food shirtless. He never shows his face.”
I look down at my crappy ramen. “Sounds good.”
“Oh, it’s good,” Hannah says. “I’ve gotten Travis into them too.”
“Have you?” Sophie asks.
“It’s possible he’s just humoring me. But I got him to make me cannoli shirtless last weekend.”
“And then you played hide the cannoli?” I ask with a little twist of loneliness. It’s hard being here while they’re all over there.
“Damn straight we did. Ugh. Now I want a cannoli.”
“The only thing you have in the freezer is a box of old Girl Scout cookies,” Sophie reports.
“Oh, that’s definitely empty,” Hannah says.
Hannah’s boyfriend’s son wanders into view on the screen, rubbing his eyes. “Hannah, you’re being really loud again. We talked about this.”
“Oops, gotta go,” Hannah says. “But I also want to hear all about how the honeymoon is going. Eugene has been very negligent about returning my text messages. All he’ll say is they’re having a grand time. Honestly.”
“That’s all I’ve heard too.”
