I can't do this. I'm sorry.
I’ve been thinking about pretending to be the woman you love, your fiancée, when the truth is I love you. But you haven't said it back. I think it's because pretending is the easy version of something maybe you don't want the hard version of.
I told you yes when you asked me. I meant it. But I know that every time someone in town said my name as your fiancée, I’d feel like that stupid naive girl in a wedding dress who didn't know what she was doing. I can’t do it, even for the right reasons. It would break my heart knowing it was real for me, and not for you.
I’m sorry, I’ve taken some cash from the drawer in the kitchen, but I’ll pay you back.
Don't come after me. Please. I can’t say no to you in person.
Thank you for helping me and for everything.
Bethany.
Reading it twice, I sit down at the kitchen counter very slowly and put the note down beside my hand.
Her voice was quiet when we were up on the mountain, sayingI love you.The truth sitting in my chest and me deciding I was being kind to her by waiting to tell her what I felt, not wanting to overwhelm her.
Kind.
I put my fist through the cabinet door beside the sink. The wood splinters around my knuckles and my hand bleeds, but it doesn’t register.
I’ve been a fucking idiot.
Bethany told me she loved me. And I… I asked her to wear my ring as acover.She left because I made us cheap.
I pick up the phone. “Hawk.”
“What?”
“She's gone. Bethany’s left.”
“Where?”
“Don’t know. What I do know is she's not going to make it. Rotmere has been waiting for this. If they see her, they’ll take her. And it’s my fucking fault. I broke her. Before they could.”
“Brother. Get her back. Meet you at the saloon. She can’t have gone far.”
Hanging up, I grab my cut and my keys, take the gun out of the safe, and lock the door behind me.
Chapter Ten
BETHANY
I haven't let myself cry since I closed the door behind me. I walk down the back access road with the leather jacket Striker gave me zipped up against the wind. I don't look back at the house; if I look behind me I'm not going to make it.
The road is empty, streetlights on. I walk for twenty minutes before I get to the highway. Sitting on a low stone wall outside a place that used to be a feed store, I dig the burner phone out of my pocket and make the call I've been rehearsing for an hour.
“High Vale Cabs. Mick speaking.”
“Mick, I need a ride. I'm at the old feed store on the highway. I need to get to the bus station.”
“Name?”
“Bethany.” I blurt it out before I remember that I should give a fake name.
“Wait. Striker’s new gal? Viv told me he got engaged. Wonders will never cease, let me tell you. Does he know about this? Striker’s not a man to cross, if you know what I’m sayin’.”
“He will when he gets home.”
