My tears had stopped, and my voice had become cold, but Rian did not stop moving his hands over my back in that soothing caress.
“Not even visions of the world outside my prison were enough to keep me sane after they started taking me out of my cell. That is when he came to me. He asked if I had been enjoying my visions. He did not exactly threaten to take them away but…”
“It was implied he could,” Rian growled.
“I asked him what he wanted, and he told me that my people owed him an ancient blood debt that I would need to help him collect as the High Priestess. He said I would eventually be free, but I had some choices about what happened to me once I got out of there.”
“What were the choices?” Rian asked, and I winced, pressing my face into his chest harder.
“This is the part that might… upset you.”
“Tell me,” he insisted, and I exhaled long and hard.
“He said he could send a powerful fire witch to release me right away. She would help me destroy the coven and perform the ritual, and then she would… be there to add my ashes to those of my people.”
Rian froze, but I could hear his heart rate picking up rapidly under my ear.
“And the alternative you chose instead?”
“I waited… for you,” I admitted, cringing as he drew in a sharp breath. “But I almost chose the other witch.”
“You did?” he asked in apparent surprise.
“The temptation just to end it was almost undeniable. He gave me time to make the decision, and that was when the visions of you started to change. For months, I saw… whatcouldbe. I realized my choice was between a swift death and freedom from torment or enduring more pain for the chance at a life I could only dream about.”
Rian’s arms tightened, squeezing me in what I hoped was his appreciation of my choice. Or perhaps it was pity. Perhaps he only pitied the poor, stupid mortal witch who managed to convince herself that years of torture would make her worthy of love.
“He wanted you to choose life,” he noted suspiciously. “You said you’re supposed to add your ashes to the vial,” he recalled, and I nodded, feeling suddenly numb.
“He said if I waited for you, he’d give me a lifetime. Howeverlong I wanted,” I explained.
Rian leaned away, his hands tipping my head back so he could meet my eyes with his furious gaze.
“Are you saying he’s still coming back for your ashes? Just at a time of your choosing?” he verified.
“Yes,” I breathed, my eyelids drooping heavily enough that my clumped and tear-soaked lashes brushed the top of my cheekbones. The skin on my face felt stiff from all the salt that had been left behind as my tears dried.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Rian demanded. “You want me to trust you, but with every opportunity to prove it is possible, you give me new reasons not to!”
I was unsure where the emotions came from, but I was suddenly filled with a vast and vicious rage.
“Your trust is already gone!” I shouted at him loudly, startling us both. “And I amso tired,” I added quietly.
He stared at me in uncertainty of how to respond to the unexpected outburst, but I no longer had the energy to keep speaking. So I jerked myself free of his loose hold and turned wordlessly to walk into the bedchamber.
Chapter forty-three
ARROGANT. CRUEL. DEVIANT.
Ornella
Icould not stand watching Sage struggle just to stand up long enough to get dressed and began to assess how much power I could get away with using to heal him a bit more. That was when I stumbled across the extra wells of magic that had taken root in my mind.
I had not had much opportunity immediately after the initiation into the Wild Hunt to properly explore the new bonds that I had forged. It happened so quickly, and then we were fighting the Sylvan and I was finally bringing Sage home again. But now I had the chance to examine myself after being reformed by the bond, and I was rather astonished by the changes. It initially seemed like a seamless fusion with no glaring mutations of my inner sanctum. But then I felt them. Deep wells of power that were connected to my own by what felt like roots.
And then all at once, my mind felt too crowded as if a silent door had opened somewhere and there wasmore. The feeling was overwhelming, terrifying, and yet…
I had never felt more connected to anything in my life. Never felt so vital, so integral, socomplete.
