“But he was my responsibility—”
“Rian,” he said even more sternly before he breathed in deeply and closed his eyes as if he’d regretted his tone. “Ciaran told me what happened. I know there was nothing you could have done. You fought hard, risked your life, and we almost lost you too. I know that you feel like your shoulders should bear every burden alone, but this was not your failing. And… I do not have the heart to argue the point until you believe me. So please, for my sake, could you accept my word for it this time?” he pleaded.
His voice had just enough of a hint of weary humour that I knew he was trying desperately to soften the impact of his words on me, but I was still shocked. It had never occurred to me that my penchant for self-deprecation might be taking that kind of a toll on my uncle.
“Alright. I am sorry if—”
“Do not apologize. You know that I am always happy to help you work through your feelings. Just…”
Just not today.
Determined to offer my uncle the same unconditional support that he always gave me, I repressed the part of me that craved his reassurance. I stepped closer to him and pulled him into a hug with the same confidence that he typically used with me. And to my relief, he let me, releasing a harsh breath and melting into my embrace for several moments. Words of reassurance and promise were on the tip of my tongue, but I heldthem back in favour of comforting and listening to him instead.
“I cannot bear the thought of going home to tell Asha that our son is gone,” he eventually admitted.
“I will go to her with you,” I said in spite of the dread that always filled me at the prospect of being surrounded by our people. I hated the way they always looked at me with a mixture of admiration, expectation, and fear.
“If you can. And I think it would be good for Ornella to come home with me,” Carrick told me.
“No,” I said immediately, and he finally pulled away to look at me with watery green eyes. “Her place is here with the Wild Hunt. We need her to help get Sage back.”
“Are you sure he is alive?” he asked, looking reluctant to entertain hope as he released me and quickly swiped at the tears clinging to his lower lashes.
“They must have wanted him for something or they would have killed him outright in the Vale,” I told him.
Ihadto believe that.
“I just hope they are not… hurting him if that is indeed the case,” Carrick said haltingly and averted his eyes back toward those faraway mountains.
I quickly shut down the dark thoughts that tried to take root in my heart. It would not do me any good to dwell on such morbid possibilities when I needed to be focused on my next moves for getting Sage back.
“Alright. What do you need from me?” Carrick asked, raising his head determinedly.
“You need to be with your family—”
“I want to be here when you get him back,” my uncle asserted firmly.
“And you will be! But there is a lot of work to do—”
“Then I could be useful!” he tried to point out.
“You would be more useful to Asha, Shay, and Rory.”
Carrick looked reluctant, but eventually he nodded in agreement with me and turned his eyes back toward the peaks of themountains behind me.
“Are you certain Ornella should stay here? She is more familiar with our family. She may be more comfortable with us than with you and… the other riders.”
He meant Ciaran. He did not have to say it aloud for me to understand his concerns, but he did not understand dryads the way I did.
“I am sure,” I insisted confidently. “I might not know Ornella personally, but I did know her brother, and I have experience with how their people deal with their grief. She is unlikely to welcome any comfort. She will struggle with how to deal with our pain on top of her own.”
Carrick seemed to consider my prediction a moment before he regained his conviction. Stubborn to the end.
“At least let me see her before I go. I want to ask her. Just to be sure,” he bargained.
“As long as I speak to her before you,” I maintained, and this time, he frowned at me. “Just trust me, Carrick, she will lash out if you go in there now, and then she will feel terrible guilt over her words.”
He was unconvinced, but I was determined to protect them both, so I held my ground with him. I was relieved when he finally conceded and gave a reluctant nod.
