I was too raw to speak while Ciaran ordered me to eat something in the mess hall tent where we’d eaten lunch, but he did not pressure me. And then I collapsed as soon as his portal closed, leaving me alone in Sage’s tent.
I knew that I had been lying on the floor for some time while my wet hair soaked the rug and tears now streamed silently down my face. The mere thought of getting up to climb into the bed was too much; I was exhausted from keeping up the facade all day that I was not completely…
Shattered.
I roused slightly when Pyrope laid down right behind me and then snuggled closer with a whine. I ignored her, trying to curl in on myself, but she persisted with gentle licks on my cheek to clean away my tears. And then I felt a subtle pressure in my mind that I quickly recognized.
I still did not fully trust that she could possibly want me as her rider after I killed Aodhan. I had seen the way Serafin was with Sage, and I could not imagine the vargr would ever forgive someone for killing his rider. But I did not have the strength to deny the comfort my mount was trying to offer me anymore.
So I let down my mental walls and finally allowed our bond to sweep into my mind with a tidal wave of comfort and the sharpness of shared anguish. Her overwhelminglovefor me was now completely undeniable, and it made me immediately turn toward her. I buried my face in the soft fur of her chest to cry again while she curled her head over my shoulder. She was the only creature besides Sage that I had allowed to see me so overwrought in centuries. Her and Serafin, I supposed, when he also laid down at my back with his chin resting on my hip.
I was not sure how long we laid there taking whatever solace we could from one another, but a noise had all of us perking up. I was horrified to see the flare of a portal in the anteroom and sat up quickly to wipe my face before someone strode into themain room of Sage’s tent.
Rian was clean, his long hair braided in two long plaits that hung over his broad shoulders and were dampening the front of his blue-grey tunic.
“Is everything alright?” I blurted before I saw what he was carrying.
“I come bearing gifts,” the Autumn Prince assured me as he held up a hand. I was impressed that he could fit the neck of a wine bottle and the stem of his silver pipe in one fist. In his other hand was what looked like a garment bag with buttons down the front.
“What is that?”
“It is a dress for tomorrow. I do hope you have similar colour preferences to your brother,” he admitted and hung the garment bag on a hook on the tent wall.
“Is it like what Geera wore earlier?” I asked hopefully, and Rian nodded. “Then I will approve,” I tried to assure him in the hopes that he would be satisfied to leave the dress and go. But I suspected that would not be the case.
Rian shifted the wine into his freed hand and walked into the room, sinking onto one of the cushions at the fire behind where I sat with the two vargr. When I continued to stare at him in confusion, he raised his brows at me.
“Are you really going to make me drink and smoke all by myself?” he pouted.
All I wanted was to become one with the floor again, but I grudgingly dragged myself upright and went to sit on the cushion next to the one he occupied. I could feel his eyes on me as he handed me the bottle and wordlessly watched me take a couple deep swigs.
Rian reached slowly toward my face once I’d lowered the bottle again. I was too shocked to react to him before his thumb began gently brushing away the salt that had dried on my cheek. It did not feel even a little romantic, but it was certainly affectionate. I could see the sorrow deepening in his eyes as he did theother cheek, so I tried to glare hard enough to discourage him. But Rian easily ignored the warning.
“You do not need to pretend. And if you would not object overmuch to it, then I would prefer not to pretend with you either. I could always count on Sage to be real when I needed him. And you are the closest person I have left to him and… and to Aodhan,” Rian explained.
Tears instantly stung my eyes again, not only because of what he said about Sage but because of my brother too. The things that he had revealed about Aodhan’s life in the Rowan Wood while he tortured my cousins were still so painfully fresh in my mind. I tried to fight back the tears, but I was too tired. So I let them fall, ignoring the tickle of them as they tumbled down both cheeks.
“I think I can do that but… only if you tell me more about my brother,” I bargained tentatively. I shifted into a more comfortable position on the cushion and faced Rian. “How did you meet him? How did a Summer dryad even become a rider in the Wild Hunt? What was he truly like? What made you fall in love with him?”
Rian smirked as he raised his brows at the barrage of my questions, but I could tell it had made him uneasy.
“That is a tall order.”
“You are the one asking me to let down my guard and be real with you,” I pointed out. “Besides, you brought a bottle of wine and a tin ofcneasúto get us through it.”
“We may require another bottle,” he admitted with an attempt at another smile that did not hide his trepidation. “I should warn you that it is not… a romantic story.”
“Few stories worth telling ever are,” I assured him.
Rian seemed to agree, but then he continued packing his pipe in silence for so long that I began to wonder if he would lose his nerve. I watched him light the herb with his fire magic, and then we sat quietly for another long moment while thecneasúburned.
“I met Aodhan in Galahain six decades ago,” he began finally, just as I was about to try and change the subject. “The Wild Hunt was hired to help overthrow a violent regime in one of the northern territories. But afterward, we decided to stop in the so-called City of Infamy that the Sumarrian soldiers were raving about,” he explained with feigned exasperation. I laughed at the familiar name.
“I’d love to see Sage in Galahain,” I admitted as Rian leaned forward to take a long pull from his pipe.
“I am afraid you would not have considered him very fun at the time. He had no interest in the vibrant nightlife, being the loyal lover that he is, although I do recall him enjoying the daytime peddlers and performers.”
I smiled and then glanced over at the table where some of the souvenirs my mate had collected from other courts were being used as paperweights. I couldn’t imagine Sage frequenting a brothel, but all those markets and festivals? That was certainly something I could see him enjoying.
