I understand if you need space. I'm here when you're ready.
The last one, sent the morning of the dog signs, simply said:I'm not giving up on you.
I read that one three times.
Then I opened the voicemails. His voice in the early ones was raw and ragged in a way that made my chest hurt. By the later messages he sounded exhausted but steady.
The last voicemail was short. "I know you're scared. I'm scared too. But I meant what the signs said. Call me when you're ready. I'll wait."
I set the phone down and pressed my fingertips into the edge of the counter until they went white.
He'd waited days while I'd ignored him. He'd been benched from hockey because he couldn't focus. He'd walked dogs with signs on their collars in a public park for me. And through all of that, not once had he pushed past what I'd asked for. Every message said I'm here, not where are you.
I thought about what Marshall had said. “You already know what to do.”
I thought about Renard in the park that afternoon with tears in his eyes. And the way he'd let me walk away even though everything in him was telling him not to.
That was who he was. The man who showed up and stayed and waited and didn't give up.
I picked up the phone and typedI'm coming to the office tomorrow at nine just for a few minutes. Will you be nearby?
His reply came in four seconds.I'll be there.
It wasn't a promise or a plan. It wasn't me saying I'd accepted everything or that I wasn't still afraid. But it was a step toward him instead of away, and right now that was enough.
ELEVEN
JULIAN
Rita looked up when I walked in the office and I busied myself with paperwork, trying to look casual. I was off today and didn’t have to be here so she would have questions.
"You've been crying."
"Allergies."
"Uh-huh." She didn't believe me, but she didn't push. "Your hockey player did pretty well for a first-timer. Only called me once to ask which dog was which."
He'd really put on those ridiculous signs and walked four dogs through the park just to get my attention.
The door chimed. Renard walked in and our eyes met across the office. I hoped Rita would break the awkward silence and I tried to catch her eye but she ignored me.
"Thank you for the signs."
"I meant what they said."
Rita shuffled papers and I grabbed Renard’s arm. "We need to talk outside and away from Rita's very obvious eavesdropping."
Rita's offended "I am not!" followed us out the door.
We stood in the parking lot between our cars. I could hear traffic from the main road. They were the usual everyday sounds, except everything was unusual about this.
"I want to try to understand the shifter thing and you. But I need to see you as just you. Not the serious hockey guy or the person who turns into a wolf. Just Renard."
"What does that look like?"
"I don't know. Something that isn't heavy or complicated." I looked over his shoulder at a car driving past. "When was the last time you did something silly and fun?"
He blinked. "Huh?"
