The hour stretched out long and tedious as she shifted several times to avoid him getting closer to her. When he suggested a walk on the beach when it was over, she hastily provided an excuse, telling him she had a headache. "And I have to be up bright and early in the morning. The queen is back and it's full steam ahead."
He looked disappointed but nodded in understanding. "I hope she's not working you too hard."
"I enjoy the challenges." He had walked her to her car. "Well-" She aimed for a friendly smile as she said her goodbye. When he leaned in to kiss her on the lips, she jumped back, slapping a hand on his chest. "What're you doing?"
"Kissing you goodnight. I thought-" He stepped back, a look of utter mortification on his face. A look that had the guilt churning inside her. "I apologize if I read things wrong. I just thought that when you invited me- that you- that we-" He passed a hand over his face. "I apologize."
"No." She shook her head and felt lower than dirt. She had used him. He was a decent man, and she had used him to try and prove a point to the prince. He didn't deserve this kind of treatment.
"I should be the one apologizing," she said in a contrite voice. "I'm sorry, Luther, if I gave you the impression that there could be more between us." She took a deep breath before plunging on. "My past-"
He held up a hand, his smile reassuring and easy, making her feel even worse. "I understand perfectly. I'm not fully over my ex." Taking her hands in his, he squeezed lightly. "You want us to be friends, and I have to respect that."
"Thank you," she whispered achingly and wished with all her heart that she could drum up some feelings for him. What the hell was it about her that she kept falling for the wrong man? Falling? No! The voice screamed inside her head.
She was mistaking really good sex, mind-altering, out-of-body sex for love, and that was incredibly stupid. Of course she was not in love with the prince. Where on earth had that come from? Forcing a smile amidst the chaotic thoughts tumbling around inside her head, she held his hands for another few seconds before letting go.
"I won't ask when I can see you again." He looked so hopeful that she wanted to lash out at fate for doing this to her again. It would have been so simple if she were involved with him.
"The fall charity benefit is coming up and it's going to get crazy," she said evasively, hating herself for what she was doing.
"But I'll let you know."
He flashed her a smile. "I really like you, Antoinette."
"And I really like you too."
"Just not enough for anything to happen between us."
I'm involved with the prince! And he's dominating my every thought. The voice screamed inside her head.
"Friends?"
"Always." He sounded so earnest and sincere that she wanted to weep. "Now you be careful on the roads. It's getting darker now and the streets can be treacherous."
"Thanks, Luther."
"Good night."
She didn't go straight back to the palace. She had some thinking to do and did not want to face him, not just now when she was feeling vulnerable and confused. So, she drove to the empty park and just sat there in the car, her mind in a whirl. She had feelings for him, that much was obvious. She had never been one to lie to herself and she could not just pick up the habit, just like that. She had very strong feelings for him.
The night and morning they had spent together had proven that. And as experienced as he was, she was pretty sure he had discovered that.
She had fooled herself into believing that she could play him. In the insane notion of getting her revenge on her ex-fiancé, she had gone too far.
She was not the type of woman to have casual sex. Had never been.
Now she was in trouble. And had no idea what to do about it.
*****
In the hour it took him to ride his horse, he had received some sort of clarity. He was going to leave her alone. Who knows? It might backfire on him, but he had to regain some sanity. He was letting her hold all the cards and he was after all a man. A prince to boot. He was in love with her, but he had no intention of surrendering his pride unless it was absolutely necessary. So, he had come up with a new plan.
He was going to make her miss him. He would not be taking her to bed anytime soon. She was going to have to realize that he was serious. He did not want half of her; he wanted everything. And until she decided on that, he would leave her alone. Oh, not entirely, because it would clearly defeat the purpose. Every now and then he was going to remind her what she was missing.
He was standing by the window when she drove up. His heart picked up speed as he watched her alight from the vehicle. The wind blew her hair around her face, forcing her to brush it back, bringing memories of the way his fingers had toyed with thestrands. The memories were so potent, he had to force himself to stay where he was and stick to the plan.
He was not going to go running to her room. If she came to him, then fine. But he was staying put. Turning away, he went to bed, prepared to spend a long and empty night aching for her.
