“Don’t care.” Tyche grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the bed, where Shey sat with a bounce. Tyche twisted and bounced down on the bed opposite him. He crossed his slender legs in front of him, settling in like he was about to hear the juiciest story ever told.
Why not? Tyche had been with him through thick and thin. Kept him sane during some of the worst moments of his life. Whether it made sense or not, he saw this strange creature as a friend.
“His name is Rayne Laurent.” Shey stopped and sucked in a breath. “At least, I think it is. He could have changed it after he married.” He didn’t even know that. Fuck, he was an asshole.
“You’ll get to that part. Start at the beginning,” Tyche urged, jerking him from his swirling thoughts.
“Fine. We met at university. He was an international exchange student studying in Sirelis through a prestigious program. His father was a powerful advisor in the Erya government, and Rayne was brilliant. Really, just so smart it drove me crazy. Even more than the fact that he was sexy and serious. He held himself in a way that made him seem unattainable.”
“Which meant you had to have him.”
Shey lifted an eyebrow at Tyche’s interjection. “Am I that predictable?”
“Eh. More like overconfident and self-important, but it makes you cute instead of pompous.” Tyche waved a hand at him. “Keep going.”
At least he didn’t have to worry about developing a big ego around Tyche. The god was sure to keep knocking him down a peg when his head got too big.
“Anyway, yes, I had to have him, and I did. We dated for almost the entire two years that he was studying in Sirelis. No, it wasn’t all sex, though there was a lot of it. We went out, had secret dinners, and talked endlessly. He had all these grand policy ideas about ways to make the government more efficient and to help the common man. We argued all the time, but I loved it. I thought I learned more arguing with Rayne than in all my years of study. Being with him made me a better leader.”
Shey paused and licked his lips, his thoughts dancing among hundreds of images of their early years together. Dinners in their private room at Panu’s. Pacing Rayne’s tiny apartment as they argued. Stretched out naked and sweaty in his bed after they made up.
“But…” Tyche reached across and poked him in the knee.
“But I’m the prince of Caspagir, and he was destined for a post in the Erya government. Two different countries and two very different paths. We always knew that our futures led in separate directions, so we never talked about being together after he finished his time at school. I let him go.”
“You let him go, even though you loved him?” Tyche’s tone made it clear he thought Shey was a moron. Shey couldn’t argue with him.
“I wasn’t willing to admit to myself that I was in love. At least not as deeply as I felt it. I told myself that it was just a very good friendship. That was all it could be. There was no way he’d be willing to give up all his plans to move to Caspagir. His father and all his studies were fast-tracking him to a life in government. He was brilliant. I knew he was going to end up either as the advisor to the king or at least the prime minister.” Shey let out a disgusted sound. What had seemed very logical at the time felt so stupid now.
Shey scrubbed a hand across his face and took a breath, getting ahold of his emotions. “He went back, finished his schooling, and ended up becoming the advisor to a young Prince Caelan, the only child of Queen Amara Talos.”
“So he was fast-tracked in a big way.”
Shey grunted. “He and Caelan make an excellent team. I don’t know Caelan all that well, but in our early meetings, he struck me as being impulsive and rash while still being thoughtful and considerate. His advisor reins in some of that impulsiveness, while Caelan keeps Rayne from getting toobogged down in having all the information and overthinking things. Last year, when news hit that Queen Amara and Caelan were killed, I was sure Rayne had died too. He was never apart from the prince. I was devastated. It made me face all these feelings I’d packed away because I’d told myself they were impossible. Yet, the next thing I knew, I was meeting with Rayne. Caelan, Rayne, and two bodyguards had left Stormbreak prior to the attack.”
“You thought you had your second chance,” Tyche whispered, the words a gentle caress.
He nodded because his throat had tightened with the memory, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. The relief he’d felt at seeing Rayne after being sure he’d died had been overwhelming. He could still remember the feel of Rayne in his arms that first time, and wanting to never release him again.
“As soon as I saw him, I was already rearranging our lives. I thought I could convince him to move to Caspagir. Yes, he had power as the prince’s advisor, but I was willing to make him my husband and consort. He would sit next to me on the dais. I’d share the power with him like no other monarch had before. We’d build a bright future for Caspagir together.”
“But he wasn’t willing to abandon his prince.”
“No, he wasn’t, but it was more than that. He’d moved on. Found someone that he thought he could build a life with. At least, it appeared to be the early stages of trying to figure that out. His heart didn’t love me like it had at one time. I’d missed my chance.”
Shey forced his body to straighten from its slump and drew in a deep, noisy breath. Saying all those words out loud removed some of the old weight from his chest. He felt lighter. There was no point in wallowing in old pain. Rayne had moved on. He needed to do the same.
“Rayne and Caelan’s bodyguard, Eno, fell in love. It was the perfect match. They both worked to serve and protect the king. Rayne is brilliant and wise. Eno is protective and a natural caretaker. Rayne needs someone who can look out for him, because he really is shit at taking care of himself. They got married a couple of months ago. I was supposed to go to the wedding. I should have gone…as his oldest friend…”
“Instead, you decided to throw your life away in Damardor.” Tyche stood up and smacked Shey in the middle of his forehead. “You should have gone to the wedding. It would have helped you to get past all this.”
Shey rubbed the spot Tyche smacked and glared at the man who still towered over him. “If I had attended the wedding, who would have gotten your ass out of that facility?”
Tyche huffed but didn’t retreat. “Minor details. I would have figured it out.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Whatever. You’ve got to learn something from this. I don’t know what. Something. Humans always need to learn something. Also, you need to apologize to your friend for missing his important day. You’ll probably need to apologize with a good gift. Start thinking on that.”
