Being the awesome person that she is, Tahnee doesn't ask what those 'things' are. “No worries. Another time. I'll catch you later.” She blows me a kiss, and I wave goodbye as she walks out of the store.
By the time my shift is done, I'm almost bursting out of my skin at the anticipation I feel about seeing Jacob again. I didn't get to see him last night since he had to do some evening fishing, and I had laundry to get done and groceries to get anyway.
Tonight I had planned on cooking something at my place and bringing it over to him, but I don't want to wait to see him any longer than I've already had to. So, I bag the ingredients for chicken quesadillas to take over there and cook instead.
And then, after passing by my nightstand, I decide to grab a couple of condoms and add them to the bag as well, just in case. I'm not exactly planning on sleeping with him tonight, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't wantto, and I do want to be prepared for anything.
Once I have everything, I set out toward his place.
The ocean-scented air that I once didn't care for is now so familiar that it has a calming effect against the waves of nerves and excitement flowing in my stomach. There's a little part of me that thinks maybe he'll purposely not be at home because he knows I was going to be coming over tonight.
We've hung out a couple of times since I found out the truth, but I didn't kiss him again until the last night that I was there, and it was right before I left. I hadn't wanted to rush him with anything. But that last night, I just couldn't help it.
I guess that's why I feel like he may try to avoid me.
When he does open his front door, dressed in a white t-shirt that molds to his body and a pair of faded jeans, that thought disappears real quick.
“Hey,” I greet him.
My thumb brushes back and forth against my fingers as I stand in front of him, feeling relieved and excited to see him.
“Hi.”
Jacob looks hesitant as he steps back to let me in, which causes apprehension to swim through me.
Did something happen? Is it because I kissed him?
It's not until I smell the food and see the two plates on the table that I realize why he seemed that way. I walk into the kitchen, place my bag on the counter while taking a peek at the food, and then turn back to Jacob.
He stuffs his hands into his pockets. “I used the hotdogs and canned corn you brought the other night, added them to some mac 'n' cheese. Thought I'd cook you something for once.” He shrugs. “Might taste like shit, though.”
I smile widely as I walk over to pull him into a hug. He's only stiff for a moment this time before sliding his hands around my back, and of course, it makes me feel giddy that he's feeling more and more comfortable with me.
“That was sweet. Thank you.” Jacob grunts, maybe at the fact that I said 'sweet.' Or maybe just because it's what he does. “And I'm sure it won't taste like shit.”
“We'll see.”
Heading back over to the kitchen, I say, “I had brought some stuff to cook quesadillas, but we can just have them tomorrow night.”
“Sure.”
I pull out the chicken, sour cream, and cheese from the bag and put them in the fridge. When I turn around, Jacob has tipped out the rest of the items in the bag and is staring down at something on the counter.
Shit, the condoms.
There, beside the quesadilla wraps, are the two foil packets.
I feel as the heat creeps up along my neck and onto my cheeks. Embarrassment at my assumption makes me want to shrink into myself.
“Um,” is all I manage to say.
After what feels like an eternity, he finally turns away from the condoms to peer at me. There's something in his ocean eyes, a look. Like a storm is brewing, a mixture of both uncertaintyanddesire.
I think he does actually want it too. He wants to be physical with me, but after what he's been through, he needs me to be the one to make a move. He needs me to show him that it's okay. And thathas the need to be close to him growing substantially, erasing any embarrassment I had felt just a few seconds ago.
The look he gives me reaches out from within him, pulling at me like a tether. I take the few short steps over to him and then reach up to pull his head down for a kiss.
Jacob is slightly rigid at first as my lips coast slowly over his, but then he gets pulled into the natural progression of things, finally making a move. His lips part, and his tongue makes just a tentative sweep of my lips, to begin with, and then he's delving into my mouth, his tongue probing and exploring as he lets himself get lost in the moment. The kiss turns from experimental to heated.
