I turned to look at him. “What face?”
“The face that says you’re spiraling about something you can’t control.” He smiled. “I’ve known Gabriel for fifteen years. I recognize the signs.”
Should I tell him?
Can I tell him?
Is this confidential? Is there attorney-client privilege for fake marriages?
“It’s the custody case,” I said finally. “Gabriel’s ex-wife is trying to get full custody of Megan.”
Fitz’s expression shifted. “Yeah, she’s always been a piece of work.”
“And she turned up with her new husband. Who happens to be a lawyer. A really good lawyer, apparently. The kind who wins ninety-two percent of his cases.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.” I watched Megan clumisly swing from bar to bar, her tongue sticking out in concentration. “We hired this attorney, Anthony Gallagher, who’s supposed to be even better, but I just keep thinking about what happens if we lose. If the judge decides Megan should go live with Tonya. If...”
“Cate.” Fitz’s voice was gentle. “Breathe.”
“I am breathing.”
“You’re hyperventilating.”
Am I?
Maybe.
Probably.
“It’s just…” I pressed my hands together, trying to organize my thoughts. “It’s like we’re making this elaborate soufflé, right? And soufflés are temperamental. One wrong move and the whole thing collapses. And we’ve got all these ingredients—the marriage, the home stability, Gabriel’s career, my... existence as a person who once broke a child’s arm—and we’re trying to make it rise perfectly. But what if it doesn’t? What if we open the oven and it’s just... flat? What if Richard Castellano pokes it with his lawyer finger and the whole thing deflates and the judge takes one look at our sad, flat soufflé and says, ‘You know what? Tonya’s soufflé is way better. She can have the kid.’”
Fitz stared at me. “Did you just compare a custody case to a soufflé?”
“I stress-metaphor. It’s a thing.”
“That’s... actually kind of impressive.” He was trying not to laugh. “But also, Cate, you’re spiraling.”
“I’m not spiraling.”
“You’re absolutely spiraling.”
“Okay, fine, I’m spiraling.” I dropped my head into my hands. “But can you blame me? This is Megan we’re talking about. And I know I’ve only been in her life for a few weeks, but I—” My voice cracked. “I can’t lose her, Fitz. I can’t watch Tonya take her away. And I know that’s selfish because I’m not even her real mother, I’m just the nanny who accidentally became the wife, but—”
“Hey.” Fitz’s hand landed on my shoulder. “First of all, you’re not ‘just’ anything. You’re clearly important to both of them. I’ve never seen Gabriel like this. He’s happy, relaxed; he even smiles at work. That’s because of you.”
“Or because he’s getting regular sex.”
Fitz choked. “Jesus, Cate.”
“Sorry. Anxiety makes me inappropriate.”
“I’m noticing.” He was definitely laughing now. “But seriously. You’re good for them. Both of them. And any judge with half a brain is going to see that.”
“But what if the judge doesn’t have half a brain? What if the judge is one of those people who thinks biological mothersare automatically better? What if Tonya cries on the stand and talks about how she made mistakes, but she’s ‘changed’ and she ‘deserves a second chance’ and the judge buys it? What if—”
“Cate.”
