He hated that the thought of it brought stinging tears to his eyes, so he squeezed them shut and stubbornly kept them closed until he fell asleep.
The next day started the same way. They woke and dressed, Jerah placed the shroud, they tore down the tent, Florian set the quickening spell, and they set out.
He wasn't sure exactly when it happened, but at one point he heard Kade murmur something to Jerah; then they switched places, so Jerah was leading and Kade was in front of Florian. He scowled, deliberately slowing so Kade was further from him, but then Kade slowed his own pace, until they were walking next to each other.
“What?” he muttered, looking away as Kade peered down at him.
“Sorry,” Kade said softly, and it took everything in him for Florian not to look up at him. “For last night. I didn't... I guess I thought we were on the same page. But I was thinking about it, and I think you're right.”
“About what?” The words came out with more distaste than Florian had meant, but Kade continued on as if he hadn't heard.
“That maybe I'm taking it too seriously. It's my job to protect you both, but…” he replied, still barely above a whisper. Despite how quietly they were speaking, Florian was sure Jerah could hear most if not all of their conversation.
Kade let out a huff of breath, and finally Florian glanced up at him to see his mouth pressed in a tight line. For a long moment they were silent, then he added, “I don't want to drive you away.”
He sounded so miserably vulnerable that Florian couldn't bear to look at him any longer. What was that supposed to mean? That he wanted some kind of do-over? It was tempting, but his ego still ached from the blow Kade had dealt him last night.
Kade tentatively reached and touched Florian's wrist, reaching for his hand the same way he had last night—and Florian yanked his hand away, a scowl spreading across his face.
“Go do your job,” he snapped, pushing him away. Kade didn't even stumble at the force, but when Florian looked back up at him, his expression had changed entirely. Even with the sun goggles, he could tell Kade's face had gone stony and expressionless. He didn't protest, but silently stepped away, overtaking Jerah ahead of them with a muttered word.
Jerah glanced back at Florian as Kade resumed his position, the curiosity apparent on his face, but he didn't say anything. Florian frowned, his face burning with embarrassed warmth, and looked back down at his feet.
They came across more creatures in what Florian guessed was the afternoon—a large group of little pig-like beasts with short tusks and rocky-looking hides; but after only a few had been slain easily by Kade and Jerah, the rest of the pack eyed them uneasily and fled. Other than that, the trip was just as monotonous as it had been the day before, giving Florian plenty of time to do nothing but think.
He had first felt a tiny kernel of guilt when Kade had made that face—or rather, that total lack of an expression. It reminded him of how expressionless he had been when they first met: the way Kade had been cautious and guarded around him, until he had decided to stay in the Veil. Maybe he had been too harsh, vindictive, mean even. Kade had been trying to apologize. Why had he been so eager to push him away? It felt silly already.
“Fucking Cameron,” he muttered under his breath, kicking a rock as he walked. Ever since Cameron had broken up with him, any hint of rejection from anyone, ever, about anything hurt a thousand times more than it was supposed to.
But Kade hadn't rejected him, he argued with himself. He was just… maybe not a great communicator; but then, neither was he. Was that enough to justify shoving him away? The guilt pressed down on him tenfold when he came to the conclusion that, no, it wasn't exactly an appropriate response. It was hot, and he was tired and dusty and sweaty—for all his excuses, Kade was out here in the Blight alongside him and was certainly just as uncomfortable.
“All right back there, Florian?” Jerah's voice broke through his thoughts, and he realized with a start that he'd lost the thread of magic that was speeding them up.
“S-sorry,” he stammered, feeling all at once more embarrassed and frustrated than he had been before. He had been so consumed with his thoughts that his concentration on the spell had entirely faded away. “I don't... I don't know what happened.”
“That's alright,” Jerah assured him, patting his shoulder. “I've been telling you, don't push yourself too hard. I know it's tiring to use magic for so long without a break. You've done very well so far, but I think we'll be fine if you take it easy for the rest of the day. In fact…” He pulled the map from one of the side pockets on his backpack, glancing over it. “Since you've sped us up so consistently, I think two more days of travel should get us there if you can just hold the spell for half the day tomorrow and half the day the next.”
“Okay,” Florian muttered, looking at the map to avoid having to look at Jerah's attempt at a reassuring grin—or worse, Kade's expressionless face.
“See? We're making good time. Not a problem at all,” Jerah continued as he rolled the map back up. “I'm very proud of you, Florian.”
That made him uncomfortably warm again, though for an entirely different reason. “Thanks,” he said quietly, trying weakly to return the smile. Jerah must have seen his wavering expression. He lingered next to Florian for a moment, as if trying to decide what to say, then he seemed to give up—giving him another few pats on the shoulder before resuming his spot in their marching order. Kade had already turned away and was walking ahead, and Florian stumbled to catch up before they got too far from him.
Kade didn't even look at him when they made camp for the night, his eyes sliding away from Florian any time they were near each other. When the tent was set up, and Jerah dropped the shroud, he went straight to one corner of the little shelter, laying out his bedroll and settling onto it without a word to either of them.
Jerah raised a quizzical eyebrow, looking first at Kade then at Florian. “Any idea what's going on with him?” he asked in a conspiratorial half-whisper, not quiet enough for Florian to have any confidence that Kade didn't hear.
“No,” he muttered, shaking his head and feeling his face burn with heat. He took a bite of the bread they were sharing, and he could feel Jerah's curious gaze linger on him; but his father didn't ask anything more, and once they were done eating, he retired to his sleeping bag as well.
Florian laid down with a distinct feeling of regret—he had hoped to catch Kade alone after Jerah went to bed, but it seemed pretty clear that Kade didn't want to interact with him at all. Maybe by tomorrow night he would have cooled off enough for them to talk.
He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep when a sudden crashing sound roused him—then the tent was flooded with light and heat. Florian sat bolt upright with a startled cry, looking around and wincing in the light. Across the tent Kade was on his feet, sword in one hand with the other lifted to cover his eyes, shouting—something was pushing against one of the walls of the tent, trying to burrow under it and tearing at the fabric.
“What the fuck is that?” Florian stammered, clambering to his feet and pulling out his sword. Between them Jerah had jumped to his feet as well, hissing at the light.
“Darkness—darkness—” he choked out, and despite the lack of incantation the words alone seemed to be enough, as the shroud first covered him then, wavering, spread first to Florian and finally to Kade.
With a roar, Kade stabbed his sword through the layers of fabric into the shape of whatever creature was trying to get into the tent. It squalled in pain, sounding very much like the strange rocky pig-creatures that they had encountered earlier in the day. It gave another shriek as Kade pulled away—the blade now coated in blood. The thrashing against the tent stopped as the creature fled, but light still flooded the shelter. One of the panels had been knocked askew, and there was a hole in the fabric where Kade had stabbed through.
