“He made me believe in that dream, too. And now…” Kade trailed off, his voice suddenly choked. “I'm going to keep working hard for him, to make sure his dream is realized. For Florian. For all of us.”
He hesitated, as if he might add more; but instead, with a sense of finality he gave a nod and stepped away. A few murmurs rose as he did, and some of the townsfolk reached out to him in familiar, comforting gestures as he passed. They all knew each other better than Florian knew any of them, he thought with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He had practiced what he was going to say, but it seemed woefully inadequate all of a sudden, as Kade sat back down next to him. Kade squeezed his hand, and he stood, feeling as though he was not quite in his own body, but floating somewhere just above it.
Florian made his way to the front of the room, standing just before his father's casket as he turned to face the crowd, the many faces of the Winter Court looking back up at him. He was their king now, and he had no idea what to say to them.
“I, um…” he started, and cleared his throat. “I thought a lot about what to say today. I don't know how much information Jerah gave about our situation, but... He was my father, but I didn't know him very well. I met him for the first time not even two months ago.” He took in a shuddering breath, his eyes scanning the crowd until they settled on Kade.
“I didn't even really want to talk to him, at first. But he talked to my uncle. I don't know what exactly they talked about, but I guess my Uncle August told him the best way to win me over, because he came back with ice cream for me.” He managed a slight laugh at that, which was echoed by some of the people watching him. Kade's lips lifted into the smallest hint of a smile.
Florian took in a shuddering breath before continuing, “And as much as I wanted to be mad at him, or stay away from him, I couldn't. He was earnest and... and kind to me, even though I had been a jerk to him at first. It didn't take much before I knew he loved me. That everything he did was because he cared about me, even though I was upset about it. And the way he talked about the Veil, the Winter Court... He made me want to help this place I didn't know, these people I'd never met. All of you. I thought we would have more time.”
His voice hitched at that, and he looked down at his feet, willing himself not to cry. The air was hushed and still, as if they were all holding their breath, waiting for him to continue.
“I thought we would have more time,” he repeated, when he had sufficient control over his voice. “I thought he would be able to teach me what it meant to be a king. I thought we would be able to save the Veil together. I thought I might be able to really have a dad for the first time in my life. But…” He hesitated, and looked back over at Kade. “But even though those things won't happen, I'll honor his memory. I'm going to keep doing my best to work toward his goal, because it became my goal. I know he would be proud, and I want all of you to be able to be proud of me, too. I—I hope…”
The words wouldn't come. He didn't know how to put the burning ache he felt from the bottom of his ribs all the way to the tips of his fingers into words. Instead, he shook his head and concluded weakly, “I hope one day you can all see me as even half the man he was. Thank you.”
He hurried back to his seat, keeping his eyes on the ground, so he wouldn't have to look any of the other fae in the eye. Kade wrapped an arm around his shoulders as he sat down, but Florian kept his eyes on his feet. Neither said anything, even as Tatiana's wavering voice started to speak.
Florian didn't hear anything of what Tatiana said, only the pounding of blood in his ears. His body felt empty, his thoughts blank... Then Kade was gently shaking his shoulder, snapping him out of the trancelike, mind-numbing state he was in.
“Come on,” he murmured, helping Florian to his feet. “It's over now.”
Several people had gathered to help them carry the casket from the event hall down to the graveyard, which lay a bit downhill from the castle. It was almost unbearably silent as they made their way down the stone path, the only noise the crunching of footsteps behind them. Florian kept his eyes on Kade's back and focused on the feeling of the heavy metal handle in his hand. Each step carried him further and further away from the life he could have had.
When they arrived at the graveyard, the plot had already been dug, and all that was left was to put the casket in the ground. Florian stepped away as some of the other fae—one he recognized as a merchant who was something of a spokesman for the townspeople of the Winter Court, the rest still unknown to him—lifted the casket with their magic and carefully lowered it into the ground. Kade stood next to him, so close their arms were pressed together.
“For King Jerah, ruler of the Winter Court,” Tatiana said, her voice trembling. “May his spirit return to the cycle of the old magic, and carry on forever.”
“The old magic remembers,” a hundred voices answered, and Tatiana took the first shovelful of dirt and set to burying him.
When it was done, they stood awkwardly near the entrance gate of the graveyard for a little while, Florian doing his best to thank each person who came up to him with their condolences. As overwhelmed as he felt, he thought they only wanted him to know they cared. Or maybe they were sizing him up now that he was king. He didn't know.
Kade remained a silent sentinel next to him, and Tatiana on his other side. Eventually, they were the only ones left. Everyone else had started heading up to the castle, where a small dinner service was being held.
Florian didn't realize that Tatiana had moved to hug him until he was already in her arms.
“You did so well,” she was murmuring, and though her shoulders remained resolutely still, he could hear the tears in her voice. “I'm so proud of you. He would have been so proud.” He nodded, and gingerly hugged her back.
They walked back to the castle together, their steps slow and quiet along the dirt path closest to the graveyard, until it became the stone path that led up stone steps. When they were inside, Tatiana turned to him in the foyer, and they stood uncertainly for a long moment.
Finally, she smiled weakly at him and said, “I don't think I can manage going to the dinner just yet. I'm going to go lay down for a bit. Will you boys be alright without me?”
“Yeah,” Florian said hoarsely, and next to him Kade nodded. A look of gratitude crossed her eyes, but she only nodded in affirmation before turning to go. They were alone.
“Florian,” Kade said softly, turning to face him and hesitantly taking one of his hands into his own. “Do you want to go to the dinner?”
He shook his head, looking down at the floor. Why did everything still feel so distant?
“Okay,” Kade was still murmuring. Florian could feel his eyes, even though he wasn't looking at him. “What do you want to do?”
“I don't know,” Florian said, and it was as if the words were the last thing holding him together, because as soon as they were out of his mouth he burst into tears. Kade pulled him into his arms, and Florian wailed into his chest, the raw sound echoing through the empty stone chamber.
“I know,” Kade whispered, holding Florian tighter to him and rubbing his back. “I know.”
He wept until his eyes throbbed and his throat burned, until his legs were shaking so badly that he would have fallen if Kade weren't still holding him. His words came in starts and stops, dissolving into more tears the first few times he tried to speak.
“I want—I want to go home,” he choked out. Even as he said it, he knew Coral Shore was no longer his home, not really, and the thought stuck bitterly in the back of his throat. “I want to go—to go back to Coral Shore.”
