“Please,” Ruan whispered, his voice breaking. A single tear spilled from his eyes, but many more threatened to follow. “Please don’t.”
But Vesper continued right up to him, her beady black eyes glinting in the meager light. She paused near his foot, then lifted herself up just enough to bump her head against his hand. When they made contact—solid and real—Ruan began to sob.
“No!” he wailed, stumbling until his back hit the stone wall, and he crumpled to his feet. “Oh gods—this isn’t—how?How?”
Adrissu carefully clasped his hands in front of him, looking down at his feet. He could not name the feeling that simmered right near the back of his throat—not shame, not regret, but something like it.
“You weren’t supposed to find out this way,” he said softly. “You weren’t supposed to find out at all.”
“This whole time,” Ruan muttered, shaking his head as if he had not heard. “All this time, and it’s—you’ve been in the city all along.”
Adrissu gave a slight nod, pursing his lips. “Yes.”
“Why?” Ruan hissed, finally looking up at him. For the first time, the fear had left his eyes—replaced with anger, with hate. Adrissu stifled a scowl. At least one of them had to stay calm, he told himself, and it certainly wasn’t going to be Ruan. “Why stay in the city you destroyed?”
“Because I like it here,” Adrissu snapped. “I did not leave because I knew I could help Polimnos become great. The city you live in now is not the one I destroyed. The city you live in now wouldn’t be possible without me!”
“You’ve lied to me, to everyone,” Ruan said, still glaring daggers up at him. “You tricked me. For years you’ve tricked me.”
“Ruan,” he started, but his voice died in his throat. He couldn’t argue with that—after all, it was the truth. Instead, he said quietly, “All that I’ve done since then, I’ve done for the benefit of Polimnos. I can promise you that. If I had wanted to bring ruin to the city, I could have done so at any time, but I haven’t.”
Ruan scoffed, glancing away, but had no retort. For a long, tense moment, they were both silent. Adrissu added hoarsely,
“I know there is a belief that all dragons are inherently evil, that they see their power as a reason to be above morality. But this is untrue. You’ve seen all I’ve done for this city. I may not be warm, or kind, but I’m not evil either. I’m not.”
“This is madness,” Ruan finally muttered, looking down at Vesper who was still peering up at him curiously. “I can’t believe you, Adrissu. Gods, that’s not even really your name…” A heady flush rose in his face. “I can’t believe I’ve spent a year pining after you, after a lie.”
“Ruan,” Adrissu repeated. Every instinct he had cried out to gather Ruan into his arms, to force him to listen, to somehow comfort him. But how could he comfort Ruan, when he was the very source of his conflict? “Ruan, I never had any intention of tricking you. I stayed away from you for so long because ofthis: because I didn’t want to have to lie to you. Because what I feel for you is genuine. What happened yesterday was… A moment of weakness. I’m sorry I let it happen.”
Somehow the admission only made Ruan look more anguished.
“I can’t believe this,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t—I can’t talk to you any more. Bring me back to the city.”
Adrissu’s chest constricted with grief. Ruan was going to hate him no matter what he did. It was what he had wanted this whole time, and now that it was happening, he thought it might destroy him.
“You have to promise me, Ruan, that you won’t speak of this to anyone,” he said, and Ruan scowled openly at him.
“I should warn everyone in town about you,” he snarled, staggering to his feet. “I should gather up the rest of the mercenary’s guild and storm your tower to finally drive the Scourge of Polimnos away.”
Adrissu’s teeth flashed in a snarl; this time he did not try to hide the savagery of his face. “You will do no such thing,” he growled. “Not if you want your friends to live.”
Ruan answered with a scowl of his own, but this time he visibly hesitated.
“You just said you aren’t evil,” he muttered.
“I’m not,” Adrissu said. “But I’m not a fool, either. You think I wouldn’t act in self-defense?”
“Then what was this? Today?” Ruan exclaimed, pointing upward. “Just flying around to burn a different city to the ground?”
“No,” Adrissu snapped, taking a step closer to him. “I was—flying. To clear my head. About everything that just happened.”
“Because that was so distressing to you? You think it was really amistake?” Ruan countered.
“And you don’t?” Adrissu said. Ruan at least looked cowed at that, glancing away with a mix of anger and shame rising on his face.
“Will you please,” he finally whispered, not looking at him. “Will you please just let me go?”
“Promise me you will not tell anyone what I’ve told you,” Adrissu repeated. He hesitated, then added softly, “Please. If you ever cared about me at all, please.”
