Once the pottery was set out, he pulled a coin purse from his bag and divided out five thousand gold. Much of it was in larger raw chunks, some in small pieces; but he knew that as a dragon she too would have an innate sense of its worth. When he deemed it the equivalent of five thousand gold pieces, he glanced up at her for confirmation, and she nodded. Only then did she pass the bowl to him.
It was warm in his hands. It made him think of Ruan, always warm, with the radiance of the sun.
“Thank you,” he murmured unbidden, as he grasped it close to his chest. “You have no idea how much I appreciate this.”
Heriel laughed, smiling over at him. For the first time her grin did not have that untamed look to it, but a genuine smile that was not at all out of place on her human features.
“Trust me, I do,” she replied. “I’m happy to pass it along. Only remember our kindness, especially if you ever come across Naydruun. They’re more likely to travel than I. If you ever meet Naydruun, remember our kindness to you.”
“I will,” Adrissu agreed, the bowl in his hands still holding his full attention. “I will remember.”
Chapter Eleven
Witheverythinginplaceto undergo the ritual, only Ruan needed to be convinced. Adrissu had not broached the topic in a long time, and he was unsure how to start the conversation again. So he waited until Ruan had been home for a while, and they were in his house, where his mate was comfortable, full from a good meal, and a little bit drunk on wine.
“Ruan,” he murmured, nearly purring the other man’s name. The human was cradled in his lap, kissing along his neck. “This is all well and good, of course, but I had something I wanted to ask you before we go any further.”
Ruan pulled away, grinning up at him. The patchy facial hair he used to shave religiously had finally filled out enough that he could wear it as a short beard; Adrissu had disliked it at first, but now thoroughly enjoyed the soft tickle of it against his skin, and especially relished the satisfied sigh it would elicit out of Ruan when he threaded his fingers through it.
“What is it, then?” Ruan teased. “I would very much like to get back to this.”
“Listen,” Adrissu chuckled, shifting his weight so Ruan was a bit further from him. Still straddling his waist, Ruan adjusted so there was enough distance between them to meet Adrissu’s gaze. “I have been... thinking about some things.”
“Things?”
“Things we have previously discussed... A long time ago.”
“Are you finally going to let me fuck you?”
“That is not what I was referring to,” Adrissu sighed, but Ruan only laughed good-naturedly. “No, something else. Do you... Do you remember when I first told you about fated pairs?”
Ruan stilled slightly in his lap, his jovial expression faltering slightly. A slight smile remained on his face, but did not quite reach his eyes, as if he already suspected the conversation was going to take an unwelcome turn.
“Yes,” he said, nodding. “I remember.”
“And when we discussed this, I mentioned a... A ritual I was aware of, that would bind fated pairs’ souls together.”
“The reincarnation thing. Yes, I remember that, too.”
“Well, I...” Adrissu started, licking his lips. For all the trouble it had taken to learn the ritual and procure its items, the thought of asking Ruan to undergo it seemed far more daunting now. “I have all the ingredients now. All the components of the ritual. I’ve been collecting them in my spare time, and everything is prepared. We could perform it at any time.”
Ruan was perfectly still, his eyes suddenly looking faraway and unfocused. For a long moment Adrissu was silent, waiting, tension building in him. Then Ruan finally sighed, leaning back to scrub one hand through his hair, still short and scruffy as it always had been.
“I don’t know, Adrissu,” he finally murmured, and his tone was more fearful than Adrissu had expected. He had expected the human to be irritated, resistant—but so little seemed to frighten Ruan, warrior that he was, that to hear the slight quiver in his voice now was far more unsettling. “The thought of reincarnation... I don’t know. Humans aren’t meant to live forever.”
“Other humans,” Adrissu protested, shaking his head. “Ruan,weare meant to be together forever. Both of us.”
Ruan winced. Every time Adrissu’s lifespan came up, it seemed to pain him all over again.
“I just—I don’t know, Adrissu. It doesn’t seem right.”
“There is no right or wrong in this, Ruan.”
“Isn’t there? What’s so special about me that I get to know what will happen to me when I die, and other humans won’t? Wouldn’t they deserve the same ritual, then?”
“No. I’m the difference between you and them.Me. And I decide this is what you deserve,” Adrissu said. It sounded wildly selfish, even as the words left his lips, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could kill every human that he ever met for the rest of his life, if it meant keeping Ruan with him. Nothing else mattered—but he knew if he pushed too hard, came across as too frantic, he would only drive Ruan further away, when he was already clearly reticent.
“Adrissu...” Ruan started, only to trail off.
