Chapter One
Adrissuwascertainthathis mate would never again have a life so peaceful.
The majority of his and Braern’s time together was spent in leisure. After they were bonded, Braern did little besides stay at home for a long while, relaxing and reading and enjoying an existence free of duty or responsibility. Adrissu was happy for him, knowing how much struggle and pain had been present in his lives, both this and the previous ones.
After a few months of this, though, living idly seemed to lose its luster for Braern, and he dove with gusto into a never-ending stream of hobbies and interests. Adrissu was more than happy to provide him with anything he asked for. He did some work at the academy on and off, and after nearly thirty years together, Braern sat in on a few lectures and found himself fascinated by a lesson on archeology. It started with the dwarven history of Polimnos, but his interest soon spread to a variety of ancient ruins scattered throughout Autreth, all remnants of its various former conquerors.
His passion ignited, he often left Polimnos to explore these sites with groups of other students or archeologists, but occasionally alone, or with another hobbyist or two. The first time, Adrissu was hesitant to let him go unaccompanied, but Braern insisted that he was more than an adult and could handle himself. So he went, and returned so happy that Adrissu couldn’t fathom trying to prevent him from going again. After that, once or twice a year, Braern would leave on extended excursions to faraway ruins, exploring and studying, bringing back sketches and small trinkets from the places he visited. It reminded Adrissu very much of his life with Ruan; though, this time, he had a deep reassurance that Braern would always return to him safely. He was out learning about ancient relics, not hunting dangerous creatures or fighting a war.
When Braern wasn’t traveling, they were largely inseparable. He still helped out around the academy, read voraciously, played music for Adrissu, and even forced him to leave his tower sometimes to walk through the market and sit out on the beach.Thiswas what it meant to have a fated mate, Adrissu thought—to have someone by his side through everything, who looked at him with just as much adoration as he felt boiling up in his chest when they were together. It was easy. It wasright.He hoped it would last forever.
When the first touches of silver became visible on the edges of the elf’s hairline, Adrissu finally brought up the soul transference again. It had been a dormant subject for several decades, but the signs of aging were something he could not ignore; for elves, when their hair began to gray or wrinkles started to line their face, it was evidence that they were truly long-lived and their time was coming to an end.
“Haven’t we had a wonderful life together?” Adrissu asked him, his voice soft and his lips brushing the other man’s forehead. “Don’t you want it to always be like this?”
Braern did not answer right away—that alone was enough to send Adrissu’s heart sinking down to the pit of his stomach.
“I don’t know,” the elf finally answered, just as quiet. “I don’t know, Adrissu. I’m not afraid of dying this time. I don’t think I’m ready to commit to being alive forever.”
Adrissu’s chest roiled with emotion.Why?Why wouldn’t a mortal creature choose immortality? Why would he not fear death? Why didn’t he want to stay with Adrissu, just like this, until the end of time?
Maybe there was something wrong with him. Something that made his mate want to be apart. But heknewBraern loved him. He could feel it in the bond between them every time their eyes met.
“You’re overthinking this,” Braern said, cupping his cheek and bringing his attention back to reality. “You know I’ll return to you. I always do. I’m just... not ready to really be a dragon yet. It’s okay if things change.”
“You’re right,” Adrissu said hoarsely, forcing a smile. “You’re right, of course.” It was true that his mate would always come back to him, but the thought of living through another death, another period of his life alone after being with his mate for a century—he recoiled at the very idea of it. But Braern’s mind was made up, and to try to sway him would be a futile effort that would only frustrate them both. His only option was to accept Braern’s choice and hope for a different outcome next time.
Next time.The thought burned Adrissu’s eyes with unshed tears. He had hoped there would not be a next time, only athis time.
Braern died peacefully, an old man in the comfort of his home. He’d laid down for a nap in the middle of the afternoon—Adrissu had helped him get settled, his joints aching—and did not wake up. That was it.
Adrissu felt it the moment it happened; when one was awake and the other asleep, it wasn’t uncommon to feel flashes of feelings through the bond as the other slept. There had been a rush of scattered emotion, and then a burning pain in the back of his head that took all his awareness of Braern with it. His nose started to bleed—the way Braern’s had, so many years ago, when he’d severed the first bond that had linked the elf to another—and instantly he knew.
After over a century in Polimnos, Braern had been nearly as much of a fixture in the town and the academy as Adrissu himself. Adrissu allowed a small service at his home so Braern’s friends and acquaintances could pay their respects. Then the elf’s body was sent to Aefraya to be buried with the family members who had preceded him in death, as was typical for elves. All in all, the experience should have been easier than it had been in the past.
It should have been easier, but Adrissu was consumed with grief all the same, far more than the long years of anticipation had prepared him for. Hadn’t he had time to grow and nurture acceptance? This time it was easy, natural—not at all the sudden trauma of Ruan or Volkmar. So why did his chest still tighten with despair when he thought of his mate? Why was it still so painful the third time around?
“I hate this,” he mumbled, his face pressed into his sheets where he’d been laying miserably for half the morning. Vesper was coiled up next to him, her head resting on the length of her body and peering at him with unblinking eyes. He could feel soft waves of sadness and concern emanating from her, so even though she did not outwardly respond, he knew she was commiserating. “Why do we keep having to go through this? Why?”
Her head tilted slightly, and her worry swelled in his chest.Someday,she thought. Sighing, he reached out to trail his fingers on her cool scales.
“Someday,” he agreed. “Someday we’ll know this was the last time. When he comes back. I’ll convince him once and for all.”
He sighed heavily at the resolution. He would have to try harder when he met his mate again. He had been so close with Braern—surely it wouldn’t take much more to persuade his next reincarnation. After all, Adrissu thought, he was a dragon. He always got what he wanted, eventually.
Time passed, as it inevitably did. Lord Representative Susanna Allistair, a descendant of a former representative Rowena Allistair, offered Adrissu a spot on the city council. He declined, keeping his focus on the academy. He had been heading a project that, if implemented, would vastly improve the city’s sewage system, so he did not want to divide his attention. It had been so long since he’d been a council member that it felt strange to be asked. Maybe he would take it up again someday. Maybe.
The project he was overseeing had been brought to him by one of his professors, a few months after Braern’s passing. Throwing himself headlong into a project was exactly the distraction he needed, so he approved the proposal and pored over the designs. The current system carried fresh water via aqueducts throughout most of Polimnos; the new plan would add a subterranean sewer network that would allow soiled water to be transported out of the city, cleaned, and used for agriculture in the nearest village—a small farming community that had developed a few miles down the road. It was an ambitious undertaking, but the magic fueling the aqueducts could certainly be adapted to an underground sewage network, which would then connect every building in Polimnos to the new water system. If they could get a small-scale example of the system working, Adrissu was certain that the Lord Representative would approve.
It was a significant undertaking that would require years of work. But once the initial plans were made, the project slowed, having to wait for permits and approval to install even the experimental system beneath the academy. With so many idle hours suddenly on his hands, Adrissu worried his grief would return full-force; but as it had a habit of doing, time had lessened the sting of it all. What once had been a black hole of despair settled into the old familiar longing for his mate. He would bide his time.
Finally, everything was approved, and construction began. Building out the small sewer system beneath the school was a multi-stage effort, with several of the staff lending their magic to excavate tunnels and entrances. It reminded Adrissu a bit of when he would accompany Braern to the archaeological digs that interested him so much, which was a slight comfort.
When he was working alone, he made a few changes that were not on the approved blueprints, but that he doubted would be noticed. A few extra corridors, leading to rooms where a handful of bodies could take refuge—his thoughts had turned once again to dragons, like Naydruun or Heriel, who might still hold a grudge against him. If they should ever return, then having an underground hiding place away from his home would only be helpful. And if anyone noticed, he would tell them the truth that suited them: the rooms were an emergency shelter for students or staff if, gods forbid, some natural disaster struck. For mortals, how different was a hurricane or earthquake to the coming of a dragon?
But the project was tedious and time-consuming, and by the time it was done, three years had passed. Then they had to show it to the Lord Representative, and to all the committees and organizations that would be involved in such a venture; but Susanna was rightly impressed. A shrewd woman, Adrissu could tell she understood without needing to speak aloud how such a development would launch Polimnos into becoming one of the most advanced cities in the world. Rudimentary running water systems such as the aqueducts were implemented in many coastal communities, but to Adrissu’s knowledge, nothing like the filtration system they proposed existed anywhere. It would be a difficult undertaking, but Susanna was ambitious and Adrissu was itching to throw himself into another project. They would make it work.
It took another year of preparation, coordinating with the academy to enchant large quantities of stone, and mundane workers mapping out the soon-to-be-dug subterranean tunnels that would service the entire city, before ground was broken and work truly began. Adrissu spent much of his time helping to enchant the stone that would help to keep water flowing continuously, and crafting the drains and levers that would be installed in each building to allow fresh water in and soiled water out. Enchantment was a tiring task, so he returned to his tower most days utterly exhausted, falling into soundless, dreamless sleep.
