“Have you tested this?” Adrissu asked sharply, turning his attention from the parchment to Kian’s bright eyes.
“No,” he admitted, now sounding a little more reluctant. “The elves are... well, they’re a bit harder to convince about trying these things on living creatures. I did a few plants, but it’s not really similar enough.”
“Do not attempt this without trying it on a living creature,” Adrissu said, frowning. “We would need to do this multiple times, with creatures of a similar mass—nothing as small as a chicken or a rabbit. Maybe goats or sheep. And monitor them afterwards—”
“Yes, I know all this,” Kian sighed, folding his arms across his chest in a huff of irritation. “I thought you’d be more excited.”
“Iam,” Adrissu said, though admittedly he sounded more flustered than he would have liked. “Kian, you know I am. This is remarkable, and groundbreaking if it works. But I’m also worried, and I don’t think that’s unreasonable. There’s a reason nothing like this has been attempted after Starck.”
“You think something’s wrong with it,” Kian said flatly, frowning down at the paper.
“No,” Adrissu countered. “I think this is extremely dangerous, but we always knew it would be extremely dangerous. I am only reminding you that we must take every precaution to make this as safe as it can be. You cannot rush this, Kian. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but wecannotrush this.”
Kian’s scowl had deepened the longer Adrissu spoke, and he remained silent for a tense moment; then finally he sighed, his green eyes flicking back up to Adrissu’s face.
“I know all that,” he muttered. “You don’t have to treat me like I’m a student. A child.”
Adrissu couldn’t stop himself from smirking in response. “Forgive me. You’ll see when you reach several hundred years of age that everyone seems rather like a child.”
Kian snorted, laughing despite himself, and Adrissu’s heart squeezed with relief at seeing him smile. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. Alright, experimentation next. Can you help me with this?”
“Of course,” Adrissu said softly, and reached over to squeeze his hand. “You don’t have to ask me. Of course I will. I’ll see about buying a few goats or something tomorrow.”
“I can track some down,” Kian said, shaking his head. “Although... getting them down into the workshop might be tricky.”
Adrissu laughed. “Yes, I should warn you, if you bring any livestock into the tower, I can’t promise that Vesper won’t kill them.”
“Kill them?” Kian exclaimed, aghast. “She’s your familiar, isn’t she? Just tell her not to!”
“Her instincts are rather strong when I’m not around,” Adrissu said. “So I’m just warning you. But if you’d like to handle that, please be my guest. I’ll certainly be busy with work until tomorrow evening.”
Kian’s smile softened, and he leaned closer to Adrissu.
“Thank you for helping me,” he said softly. “With... everything, you know.”
“There is no need to thank me,” Adrissu replied, wrapping one arm around Kian’s shoulder. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the weight of Kian’s head on Adrissu’s shoulder soothing in its familiarity.
His mind was roiling with thoughts, though, despite the tranquil scene. Even trying Kian’s ritual on animals might not give them an accurate enough understanding of how it would affect a human. Trying it on some other human first would be ideal, but Kian would never agree to it. He could try it on a human without Kian’s knowledge, but that could be tricky to coordinate—he doubted Kian would leave for any extended length of time now that he had enough to begin experimentation on what he’d been studying for all this time.
It all came back to the soul transference—it would be safer, Adrissuknewit would. He knew he could do it. Kian had even said it himself: his innate ability to transform himself was exactly what Kian wanted. Why,why,did that seem so different to the human, so distasteful his mate had never agreed to it in all his lifetimes?
“Kian,” he said softly, unable to tamp down his desperation. “You know I am very proud of your accomplishments, and I know you’re pleased to have worked all this out on your own. But I...”
He felt Kian stiffen next to him, releasing his breath in a huff in anticipation of what he would say next, but remaining silent.
“I still think the soul transference would be an even safer, more effective option,” he continued resolutely, knowing already it was a doomed effort. “As you said—a dragon’s ability to take an illusory form that is far more physical than anything a human can procure—that’s exactly what you’re looking for. Taking the body of a dragon would allow you to do this. You would never have to leave that form if you didn’t want to. But this is a ritual I’ve done before, that I’ve observed to be safe and effective, so if this new ritual isn’t--”
“Adrissu,” Kian interrupted, shaking his head. “I can’t rule it out yet. You know that. If this ritual doesn’t seem to work when we run some experiments, if I can’t figure something else out after this, then fine. I’ll do the soul transference. But I have to try. I have to know for myself if I can do this. Because...”
Kian flushed, looking suddenly embarrassed, and turned his face away. “It’s not just about me, you know.”
“What do you mean?” Adrissu asked, frowning.
“Lots of people want to change their bodies,” Kian said. “Like me. Who were born girls, but should have been boys. Or the opposite. We can’t make all of them dragons, but if I can figure this out... If I can figure out how to really do this, then anyone who’s like me can make their body the way it should be, too. It would change a lot of people’s lives.”
Adrissu leaned back in his chair, letting out a long breath. That, too, was very much like Ruan—just selfless enough to drive Adrissu mad.
“That is very noble of you,” he replied softly. “But you know you are the only human I care about. The rest of these people, however many of them there are—they can study and figure it out on their own, just as you have. You shouldn’t have to be the test subject for them. Your safety is more important to me than the lives of every single person in Polimnos, in the entire world. I don’t care about them. I care aboutyou.”
