Adrissu’s hand froze over the lesson plan he was revising, a drop of ink spilling from his quill onto the paper below. He cursed under his breath and set it aside.
“Send him in,” he sighed, and she nodded.
“Come on in,” she called, and a moment later, Kian appeared in the doorway.
“I was hoping I could get the notes from your lecture yesterday,” he said, brusque as ever, and Adrissu sighed. “Headmaster.Sorry.”
“Yes, that’s fine,” he said, gesturing for Kian to sit. “Thank you, Eris, we’ll be a few minutes.”
“Of course,” she said, closing the door behind her as she stepped away.
“I told you, only when classesaren’tin session,” Adrissu sighed the moment the door was closed. A smirk appeared on Kian’s face, in stark contrast to the irritated scowls Adrissu was so used to seeing.
“I just wanted the lecture notes,” he replied, but there was a teasing tone to his voice that betrayed him. He was doing this on purpose, solely to prod at Adrissu, he was certain. He marched up until he was leaning right over the desk. Tension quivered in the air between them as Adrissu looked up at him, Kian gazing down expectantly.
“Is that really why you’re here?” Adrissu asked, softer this time. Kian’s eyes flickered downward across his body, making his skin prickle with heat. This wasunbearable.
“Did you have something else in mind?” he asked, his lilting voice now rough. Adrissu huffed in frustration, breaking the eye contact between them to glance across his desk.
“No,” he replied quickly, and when he risked a glance back up at Kian, the human was scowling again, blushing. “I meant it when I said I would wait until you’re no longer a student. I love you, but the academy has been my pet project for the past three hundred years—” He glanced nervously at his closed office door as he said it. “—and I don’t want to put that at risk. Another few years won’t very long for me.”
“You—” Kian stammered, his eyes wide. He took a faltering step away from the desk. “You don’t—You don’t love me. You don’t even know me.”
Adrissu raised an eyebrow—of everything he’d said,thatwas what Kian had fixated on? “You think I don’t know you? I know your soul, the most core parts of you. You might be a little different now, but...” He paused, watching Kian shift uncomfortably with his face redder than ever. “You know, they say that if you break it down as much as possible, there’s really only a handful of stories that exist. They’re just told different ways. That’s how it is to me. I love the story. You’re telling it in a new way, but it’s the same story at its heart.”
It was the truth, after all. He had not thought he would say it to Kian so soon, but the human seemed to have some memory of their past lives in the way Braern had. Surely he must remember Adrissu having done all thisbecausehe loved him. He did not think it should be such a surprise—but shock still sparked in his chest when he realized Kian wascryingas he turned away, sniffling.
“Kian,” he said, standing abruptly. “I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Shut up,” Kian growled, shaking his head and glaring over at Adrissu, even as his eyes still shone with tears. “You didn’t. You didn’t upset me.”
“Where is this coming from?” he asked, taking a more cautious step closer to Kian. He hesitated, then reached out to touch his shoulder as gingerly as he could manage. The contact was feather-light at first, but Kian leaned into it, and Adrissu rubbed a small, soothing circle with his thumb.
“This is going to sound so stupid,” Kian started, shaking his head with a bitter laugh. “But... I don’t know. I got told so often that no one would love me that I really believed it. Even without having this—this body—” He gestured toward himself as he spoke, tugging self-consciously at his loose, oversized shirt. “—I was still the weird kid who had all these dreams and memories about stuff that didn’t happen—well, that no one else thought happened. My family always assumed I was crazy. Always. I don’t remember the last time someone told me they… they loved me.”
Anger flared deep in the pit of Adrissu’s stomach, even as his heart squeezed with grief. If he could find every person who had ever said such terrible things to his mate and rip them apart, he would have done so without hesitation. Yet that same part of him knew he had some culpability in this, as well. Adrissu was the one who ultimately put Kian in the position he was in—kept his soul coming back again and again with the risk that it could manifest in a body so unsuited to its nature. He had not thought himself short-sighted at the time, all those years ago, but perhaps he had been exactly that.
“Idolove you,” Adrissu said softly, leaning slightly closer so their eyes met. “And I am sorry for the part I’ve played in your suffering.”
Kian snorted, but didn’t look away. “That wasn’t really the point I was trying to make.”
“I know. But it should be said, regardless,” Adrissu replied. Kian let out a long, shaking sigh. “And I understand entirely if this is... too much, too soon for you. If you would prefer I take a step back from all this, from you, I will do so. It will not change my feelings toward you.”
“It’s a lot,” Kian said softly. “And I still feel... a few different ways about everything. But I don’t want to go back to before. I didn’t understand you then. I was... angry. But it’s not your fault. You’re the only person who’s really—um, really on my side.” His cheeks burned as he said it. Finally, his gaze dropped away from Adrissu’s, but he continued despite his obvious discomfort. “So I still want to be able to talk to you and study with you and... and all that. If that’s alright with you.”
“Of course that’s alright with me,” Adrissu said, nodding. “You are my mate. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“Maybe research the wholefated matesthing, too, you know,” Kian muttered, his lips twitching with a suppressed grin. “I don’t think either of us were really… happy about it. At first.”
Adrissu sighed, considering. Hehadthought about delving more deeply into the mechanics behind fated mates, but ultimately had decided, time and again, there was no point. The deed had already been done; he had already found his mate. He had a passing curiosity, but there would be no tangible results or rewards to any answers he could uncover, so his time was better spent on other cares and projects.
“Perhaps someday,” he compromised. “Even amongst my kind, we understand very little of how it works. It would take a concerted effort to just find out where to start.”
Kian opened his mouth to reply, but a knock at his office door cut him off.
“Headmaster,” Eris’ voice called, muffled through the thick wood. “Professor Stone is here to see you. He says it’s about the lesson plans he dropped off.”
“Just a moment, Eris,” Adrissu answered, hardly able to contain the irritation in his tone. But looking back at Kian, he managed a slight smile. “Here. Let me get you those notes.”
