“I love you,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble. He pressed his face against Pollux’s thicker neck, feeling the heat of his scales and the rapid thrum of his pulse.
Pollux nodded and curled closer against him. Everything was exactly as it always should have been.
Chapter Thirty-One
Polluxseemedsatedandcalm for a little while after, as they went through the mess of Tyrsun’s hoard and stuffed what they could into their extra rucksack. It was mostly coins, along with a few gems that would replace some of Adrissu’s own that he had needed to use for one reason or another. It was here that Adrissu also tossed the hunk of emerald that held Tyrsun’s soul, where it was lost amidst the coins and gold. Hopefully, they could come back here again to take more of Tyrsun’s hoard to bolster their own; but all things considered, Adrissu figured it would probably be best for them to lie low in Polimnos for a year or two, lest Tyrsun’s disappearance be linked to them somehow.
It was only when they were preparing to leave, lifting themselves out of the hoard and back into the main antechamber that led up to the surface, that Pollux seemed to become tense and anxious again. He didn’t say as much, but Adrissu could sense his rising discomfort, like the air around him shifting in the wind.
“All you have to do is follow me,” Adrissu assured him. Pollux nodded silently, his gaze still troubled; but with some effort, he lifted himself off the ground and followed Adrissu up the tunnel that led back out into the cool night air. The smell of trees and rotting leaves surrounded them, and the only sound that Adrissu could hear were the sounds of nocturnal wildlife—an owl calling from far off, and small rodents scurrying away from the commotion—as they rose up from the narrow opening in the earth. They were well and truly alone.
Adrissu flew slowly. Even laden with all their equipment, which kept him from flying as fast as he could, Pollux still struggled to follow him, often losing height or veering off-course. It seemed to take all his mental effort to stay on track, which frustrated him; but as long as Adrissu could see him, he knew they would be safe.
Their flight, difficult as it was, passed without incident. Most of the night, they flew high over uninhabited areas; but when they did soar closer to villages and cities, Adrissu did not spot any late-night scouts or hunters that might have spotted them in the dark skies above.
When they arrived back at Polimnos, Adrissu led him through the narrow crack in the cliffs that fed into his lair. The red dragon’s body was bulkier than Adrissu’s, though, and Pollux scraped his wings and sides as he followed him through, hissing and snarling with pain and sudden anger.
“It’s alright,” Adrissu said, startled as Pollux landed with a crash, all his teeth bared. “Pollux, you’re alright. I’ll fix the passageway. You won’t have to go that way again. Let me heal you.”
Tired as he was, he still managed to find enough magic within him to touch the superficial wound on Pollux’s side and help knit it closed. As it quickly scabbed over, the anger that had flared in Pollux’s eyes faded, and a darker expression overtook him.
“Sorry,” he murmured, looking away. “I don’t know what... What that was. Everything feels so different. Everything makes me angry.”
“Dragons are not exactly known for being cool and collected,” Adrissu replied, trying to keep his tone light. “It will be a bit of a learning curve, but that’s alright.”
Silently, Pollux nodded.
“Will you help me get back up into the lair?” he asked, looking at the narrow channel above them. “I don’t think I can do it.”
“Of course,” Adrissu said. They unloaded their things first; Adrissu gave Pollux the bag of gold and gems to dump amidst his hoard, and while he busied himself with that, Adrissu scurried into one of the many little hidden passageways and small nooks in his lair. Gently, he laid Pollux’s former body there, hoping that if his mate did not have to see it, then he would not dwell on his life before now. This was a new beginning for them—Adrissu was sure he would see that in time—and eventually Pollux would be ready to fully let go. It would be easiest, and somehow poetic, to burn the body as he had done with Kian’s, a final remembrance of what they had gone through together. But that would be a conversation for a much later time.
He came back to the main chamber of his lair just as Pollux was transforming into his elven form, his brows drawn tight with concentration as his body glowed and shrank. He sighed in relief when the glow settled and he stood there as an elf. Adrissu scooped his smaller form up into his arms, and Pollux relaxed against Adrissu’s broad chest as they lifted off, heading up into the tower.
Vesper was eager to see them, as she always was when they had been gone, but she seemed to hesitate when she reached Pollux, her tongue flicking in and out rapidly. His smell must have changed, Adrissu thought. He knew she did still recognize him as Pollux, because she was a part of Adrissu and always recognized his mate. It was only a moment, though, then she came up to him as pleased as ever, coiling her long, heavy body around him. He smiled wearily and patted her broad head.
“Glad some things never change,” he said softly, more to her than to Adrissu, who smiled at seeing them together.
“We should get some rest,” he said, pulling Pollux closer to him. The moment he said it, Pollux’s shoulders sagged.
“Yes,” he agreed, and Adrissu led him to their bedchamber, where he immediately got into bed and was out like a light.
For a long while, Adrissu looked down at him with a soft smile. They had done it. It hadworked. This was the first moment of the eternity they would have together in Polimnos. The thought of it almost made him feel drunk with giddiness and relief. The worst was behind them, and things could only go up from here. Joyful and content, Adrissu laid down beside Pollux, holding him as he too fell asleep in the soft light of the rising sun.
The peace Adrissu felt was short-lived, as Pollux slept fitfully through the morning and was restless when he woke.
“It feels like I’m going to rip apart,” he groaned miserably from where he had been pacing back and forth in Adrissu’s study. “And don’t tell me I’ll get used to it. I know that. But right now I feel it, and it’s terrible.”
“I understand,” Adrissu said softly, but there was little else he could do. He had a bit of pavera root extract left from Kian’s things that he offered to Pollux; he refused at first, then begrudgingly took a half dose an hour later. This helped calm him enough that he laid back down, but he still shifted his legs restlessly, and sometimes sighed or groaned with discomfort. Adrissu read to him, and the distraction seemed to help, but often he seemed unable to truly pay attention.
“Will you bring me down into your lair?” Pollux finally asked, sounding defeated after several hours of struggling. “I just want to... let go of this.”
“Of course,” Adrissu said, and together they went down to the lair, where there was enough room for both of them to be dragons for a while. Pollux was still restless, but at least he seemed more comfortable here.
Over the next several days, they alternated between a few hours down in the lair as dragons, and a few hours above in the tower as elves. Pollux feared that his illusory form would unravel in his sleep since it took so much conscious effort to maintain it, so he had taken to sleeping as a dragon down below in the lair. But Adrissu pushed him to spend longer and longer in the tower during the daytime, and while it was difficult, Pollux did visibly improve over the course of a few days, which heartened both of them.
Vesper, sensing his difficulty, was always right next to Pollux, if not coiled directly on top of him. She would follow him as he paced listlessly around the tower, pursuing him doggedly even when he stepped over her long body, or ran up and down the stairs just to release some of the unending pent-up energy. Luckily, he appreciated this more than it annoyed him, so Adrissu did not have to tell her to stop.
The change had not been as immediately enjoyable as Adrissu would have hoped, as Pollux seemed mostly miserable; but after a week, Pollux insisted that Adrissu return to work, and promised him that he would be fine on his own for a few hours a day.
