“Thank you,” he said again, then glanced over at the stairs where Roz was still watching intently. “Can I see the cats now?”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Korik
Bythetimetheywere eating dinner, Varen had long since been trapped at the kitchen table, Roz purring away in his lap with K’lir curled up at his feet.
“He smells nice,” Roz thought, which made Korik stifle a laugh. They had taken to each other quickly, despite Roz’s initial distrust of him. Korik wasn’t surprised. Familiars had their own personalities, but they were still extensions of their creators, so their behaviors were roughly the same. When Korik had been hesitant toward Varen, so had Roz; but now that he had allowed himself to hope things would improve, she had warmed up to him, too. And he supposed the elf did smell nice, especially now that they could bathe and change their clothes regularly again.
Sharing a normal meal like this felt almost strange, considering how all the meals that they’d shared before had been around a campfire, often eating out of the same cooking pot. After so long of rations and game meat, Korik had been mostly preparing vegetables and rice, so today was more of the same. He had prepared food for both of them many times before, but this time he felt nervous when setting a bowl in front of the elf. If Varen didn’t like it, he wouldn't have the excuse of only being able to prepare what they had.
But Varen ate everything Korik served him and thanked him profusely, evidently as fatigued on meat and bread as Korik still was. He even helped Korik clean up without complaint.
Afterward, Varen lingered with him in the kitchen, but seemed uncertain whether he should actually stay or go.
Korik didn’t want him to leave. Somehow, it felt like everything that had happened was so ephemeral—like if Varen left now, he might realize that the elf’s apology had only been a dream. More than that, he wanted to have the elf in his room, in his bed.
He couldn’t stop the heat rising in his face as Varen looked at him, but he pushed the words through, anyway.
“Will you come lay down with me?”
A soft smile crossed Varen’s features, recognizing the veiled question for what it was.
“Is that alright?” he asked. Korik nodded, ignoring his deepening blush. “Then, yes, I’d love to.”
Korik nodded again, and his thoughts directed Roz to keep K’lir off the bed for tonight. There wouldn’t be room for all of them.
“Come with me,” he said, nerves tinging his voice. “I’ll show you where everything is.”
Varen followed as Korik led him down the hallway to his bedroom. His living space was small: just the kitchen and his bedroom, with the bathroom in between and the shop down below; and a second room that had been his when he was a child, but was now used for extra storage.
“Here,” he said, opening the door to his bedroom. The room was plain but comfortable. The bed was covered in several blankets now that winter had arrived, and it took up most of the room; beneath it was a colorful rug that had originally been his father’s, and against the walls, he had his wardrobe and a bookshelf. It was nothing remarkable, but it was home. The room was dim; normally, the sun through the window gave plenty of natural light, but it was fading quickly. With a swish of his hand, Korik lit a few of the candles spread throughout the room to illuminate them with warm, gently flickering light.
“Korik,” Varen said softly, pulling him to a stop in the doorframe. Korik paused, turning to face the elf. Only a few inches of space separated them, yet somehow Varen stepped a bit closer, placing one hand on Korik’s chest. “Do you... Can I...?”
He seemed uncertain, but Korik understood what he was asking. He reached up and placed his own hand atop Varen’s where it rested on his chest, then nodded. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, either, but their bodies knew what they wanted.
Varen’s expression of uncertainty melted into a smile. He clasped Korik’s hand and brought it to his lips, gently kissing first his palm, then the back of his hand. Korik’s heart raced—they had never beenromanticlike this before. Varen continued to press kisses on his skin. If he had been this sweet the whole time, Korik thought distantly as they tumbled into his bed, maybe things might have been different.
But, now, they were here. He focused on the sensation of the elf on top of him, leaning down to press his lips to the side of Korik’s neck.
“I want to kiss you,” Varen said softly, muffled against his skin. His tone was still hesitant, even though they were now in bed together. “Can I?”
He pulled back to look Korik in the face. In the past, Varen had always been careful not to kiss him—even when Korik had wanted it, had leaned forward for it.
Somehow, this felt like an even bigger hurdle than everything else they had spoken about. But the want, the yearning that flooded his heart, was just as strong as ever. Korik nodded, and Varen’s eyes warmed with relief.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to Korik’s. It was chaste and sweet and cautious—his tusks lightly pushed against Varen’s skin, and he remained motionless at first for fear of hurting the elf. But then Varen pressed a little harder, as if testing the pressure—and then deepened the kiss, making Korik let out a soft, surprised noise. Their tongues met, tenderly at first, then with more need. Korik felt Varen’s hands on him, guiding him out of his tunic, the air just cold enough on his bare skin to make him shudder.
This Varen was so different from the one he had slept with before. This Varen was gentle and cautious, not at all the domineering presence from before. Back then, Korik thought, he had been ruthless in chasing his release. He had purposely been tryingnotto be romantic or sweet or tender with him. Not like now.
Korik’s eyes stung with emotion, even through the pleasure of Varen’s hands on him. This was what they had both wanted, if not from the beginning, at least for some time. If either one of them had been able to say that, maybe they could have avoided all this conflict and pain.
But what good would dwelling on the past do for him? Maybe it was naïve of him, but hewantedVaren to have a second chance, to prove himself better than he had been before. If it had been anyone else, he thought, Korik would have left them behind without question. But it was Varen: the elf who had garnered such an emotional reaction in him right from the beginning, and who had transformed that dislike into endearment, almost without Korik even realizing it. The one on top of him now was not the same Varen he had tried so hard to ignore in their first days together—but neither, he supposed, was he the same.
He had never given much thought to romance, especially not with an elf. He never would have thought that he would decide to leave Drol Kuggradh of his own accord, either. Yet here they were, utterly changed by the weeks they had spent together. Everything had changed in that time.
Maybe things had to happen that way in order for them to be here now. Otherwise, they might have remained the same as they were, stuck in their old ways and unable to move beyond an initial physical attraction to something deeper.
