Chapter 31
April
What a difference a night can make. April already knew this from the night she met Jade. This one was different, but no less important.
She had arrived at Jade’s parent’s house terrified of the worst-case scenarios that played out in her head. Awkward conversation. Either nobody recognizing her and inadvertently outing her in the coming days, or they all recognized her and snuck photos of her to out her in the coming days. Either way, the terror of wondering if they would out her had laid heavy on her since Jade had invited her to dinner with her parents.
However, Jade’s entire family couldn’t have been any more lovely if they had tried. Jade’s parents took time to talk to her butnot overwhelm her. The two young girls were beyond adorable. Sophie asked her all about the science of sport, and Willow followed Sophie’s lead but spoke less than the confident nine-year-old. Evan and Toni were a fun couple who balanced each other’s personalities perfectly. Evan was quick witted but a quiet observer, and Toni was a fun woman who kept Jade’s brother in his place, while being fiercely protective of all those around her.
Then there was Cleo and Ivy. Who April instantly felt comforted by. She couldn’t explain it. Perhaps it was seeing a couple similar to her and Jade being so comfortable around one another, and all those around them. Maybe it was seeing Jade recognize that too. Possibly a little to do with the realization of the connection between their Lana and her Connor.
Whatever it was, something settled in April that night.
She felt it right before her body relaxed against Jade’s at the table. As the night went on, she kept close to her partner. Hand in hand. Relaxing together, as a couple, for the very first time around other people. And nobody batted an eye.
When they left, before everyone else, Jade’s parents had made a point to reassure her that nobody in the house that night would do anything to jeopardize her privacy, that coming out was her choice and her choice alone, and that their home was a safe space for her and Jade to bethem. Always.
On the car ride back to the retail park to collect her car, April rested her hand on Jade’s thigh the entire journey. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. She felt calm, grounded, and loved.
As Jade parked beside April’s car, she stuttered and stumbled through asking April if she wanted to go to Jade’s apartment for a while as it was still early, with it being only 9 p.m. April smiled and asked Jade to set up her address in her car’s satnav, and told her she’d be right there.
30 minutes later, they sat curled up on Jade’s couch with mocktails as Jade set some music to play over the smart speakers dotted around her apartment.
“I don’t know what I was expecting, but samba music wasnotwhat I pegged you for playing tonight,” April laughed as she took a sip of her drink. “Mmm, this is delicious.”
“Thanks,” Jade said, “I’ve tried to learn a few different non-alcoholic drinks over the past few years. Not all my friends drink, and I was fed up with only being able to offer them water or soda when they came to dinners or parties that I threw.”
“Wait, dinners, so youdocook?” April asked with raised eyebrows, knowing how terrible Jade said she was in the kitchen.
“No, I get food delivered and just display them really well on the plates,” Jade laughed but at least had the good grace to blush about it. “Ok then, what about you? Canyoucook?”
“Yes, actually, I can.” April said while maturely sticking out her tongue, pleased to put her partner in her place again that night. “Mom taught both Connor and I how to cook. She taught us how to run the whole house, from cooking, to cleaning, to basic budgeting, all before we were teenagers. She said it was her way of contributing to our education. Although I’m sure it was more about getting to spend time with us.”
“Mom did similar with us, she said when she married Dad, he was completely clueless, and she wasn’t going to inflict that on any of our future partners.” Jade laughed before continuing. “Yet no matter how many times she tried, she just couldn’t get through to me with cooking.” April laughed. “I’m an excellent cleaner though, so that balances out my poor culinary skills.”
“Other than your mixology skills,” April tipped her drink in the air before taking another sip.
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes and listened to the music play through the tall ceilings of Jade’s loftapartment. It was soothing. April had always expected to be on edge if ever she was with someone before she came out. Always waiting for someone to out her. Yet that wasn’t the case with Jade. Not when they were alone together, or with Jade’s family either.
This was it. This was the kind of connection that April had dreamed about having someday. Where no matter what was going on in the rest of her life, her partner would bring her comfort.
April wasn’t naive, she knew the risks of being in a relationship while still being closeted. She knew the money she could lose. She was all too aware of the relationships that could alter both professionally and personally. Her only worry was if they would change differently whether she came out on her own terms, or if she was outed.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Jade said softly, as she raised a hand to tuck a loose curl behind April’s ear.
April leaned into the heat of Jade’s hand. The immediate comfort that simple touch brought her when she was spiraling was something she hoped she’d never get used to.
“Just thinking how lucky I am to have found you. Twice.” April chuckled as she placed her own hand over Jade’s on her cheek.
“Oh yeah?” Jade raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah. I’ve never felt more like myself than when I’m with you. It’s taking some getting used to, but it’s definitely something I’m happy to continue feeling.” April smiled and blushed slightly as she leaned in to rest her forehead against Jade’s.
“Good, because I don’t want you feeling like you have to be anything other than yourself when you’re with me. Especially when we’re alone.” Jade said before lifting their heads enough for their lips to meet.
April eventually ended the kiss but stayed close. “Speaking of being myself,” she bit back a grin and failed, “I told Dani about us.”
Jade’s eyes were glassy, and April hadn’t realized how much it would mean to Jade for her to tell someone about them. She had known it must have been hard on Jade for them to essentially live in the shadows. Yet she’d never thought what a relief her partner would possibly feel when April took that first step out of the shadows and into the light.
