Madison’s laughter cut me off. I didn’t appreciate her laughing about first Carrie’s job and now the town I lived in. “I can’t imagine it would be. Thatch,” she ran her hand over my arm possessively and didn’t move it after she finished talking, “tell them what you did in the river.”
Jesus. I didn’t want to tell them that. “No, that’s not necessary. Ashcroft, what did you say your wife did?”
“Fuck, I’m not married,” he grinned. “Not ready to settle down yet. But I have to know now. What exactly did you do in the river?”
If Madison hadn’t been there to call me out on it, I think I would’ve lied. Why the hell had I told her? I could’ve saidwe’d worked to clean up the river for an environmental group or something. Not that I was sure these people would be any more impressed by that. Menial labor wasn’t exactly in their wheelhouse.
“My wife and I went tubing down the Indigo River with a group of friends.”
Everyone stared at me again, and no one moved for what felt like five full minutes.
“What is ‘tubing?’” Ingrid Reeves asked, looking horrified.
“You sit inside an inflated tube and let the current carry you down the river. It’s actually pretty fun.”
No one looked like they believed me.
“I think we need to all go out more often. It seems we need to save Thatcher from being too far removed from his roots,” Ashcroft said, curling his lip into a sneer at my life choices.
“No wonder your mother is upset about that girl you married. Could she not have at least moved to Atlanta?” Ingrid asked.
I was tired of talking about myself. And since when did Ingrid talk to my mother?
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and realized it was well past midnight. Shit. I needed to get home. I doubted Carrie was still awake. Hell, I didn’t even know if she was at home or still staying with Blair. I thought about leaving her work session and the way I’d felt ashamed to talk about her to my old friends. The guilt was starting to gnaw at me yet again. I couldn’t live this way much longer. I wasn’t cut out to have a double life.
“I’m going to have to go,” I said, standing up abruptly. I’d insisted on paying for everyone’s dinner and drinks and had taken care of the check at least an hour ago. “This was wonderful,” I lied. “We’ll have to do it again soon.” It would be a cold day in hell before I agreed to another dinner with any ofthem. I wasn’t the same person I’d been in college. And I was glad.
I’d been looking at things through rose-colored glasses, only remembering the good things and none of the bad. This had made the bad parts come back to me quickly. And I didn’t think the good outweighed the bad. There was a lot I was happy to have left behind.
“Yes,” Ingrid said, a smile that wasn’t exactly nice on her pretty face, “we’dloveto meet this wife of yours.”
I winced inwardly. Carrie could never find out how we’d talked about her, which meant I never wanted her around my old friends. If she felt looked down on, it would only add to our growing marital problems.
“Oh, you will,” Madison said. “She’ll be at the launch party Karen’s having for my ad campaign for Caldwell Financial. I have it on good authority that all of you will be receiving an invitation.”
Fuck. That sounded like something right out of a nightmare. I tried to picture petite, athletic Carrie amidst all these tall, willowy women and judgmental men. She would not fit in. She never had with any of my mother’s friends, but these people who’d been my close friends more than half a decade ago were even worse. They wouldn’t just talk about Carrie behind her back. They’d rip her apart right to her face.
I forced a smile as I said goodbye to everyone. My eyes lingered on Madison. She was so much a part of the world I was accustomed to. Not for the first time, I couldn’t help thinking how much easier it would have been if I’d married a woman who fit in. Someone I could step away from at a party and not worry that she’d be on the verge of tears when I got back.
But it was starting to dawn on me that I didn’t really fit in anymore, either. Not really. I could pretend to. I could fall back into that role easily. But Carrie had opened my eyes to anotherway of life. A life I’d become adjusted to and happy with until Madison had returned to town.
I felt so disloyal to Carrie. I walked out of that restaurant remembering how easy everything had been withherfriends. They’d accepted me immediately and had been friendly and welcoming. They were all nice to each other and genuinely kind to the other people in town. They didn’t look down their noses at people or say they couldn’t possibly eat at a restaurant that hadn’t at least been considered for a Michelin star.
I sighed, as I texted her quickly to apologize and let her know I was on my way. Then I turned my phone off. It wouldn’t be a good idea to talk to her right now. I was afraid my guilt and discomfort would be obvious in my voice. She’d know I hadn’t had a work obligation.
I didn’t want to compare her to the world I came from and find her lacking. And I didn’t want to compare my old friends to her world and think of them as assholes.
I was truly stuck in the middle.
***
I was surprised and pleased to see Carrie’s car in the driveway. I figured she wouldn’t still be awake, and I was right. I climbed the stairs to our room and saw her sleeping form lying on the bed. Part of me was relieved. I didn’t want to have another fight or discussion. I watched her for a bit, seeing how peaceful she looked. Her blonde curls tumbled around her head on the pillow. It looked like she was an angel and that was her halo.
In a lot of ways, Carriewasan angel. I mean, she was hot as hell in bed, but in most other aspects she was the quintessential girl next door. She didn’t have to be, either. Her mom had raised her to think she was better than everyone else. But she had never bought into that.
I went to sleep comparing Carrie to Madison. I felt as if I loved two women on opposite ends of a spectrum.
I woke up early and decided to let Carrie sleep. I could text her later to ask about the details for the Orchid Ball. I knew it was either tonight or tomorrow night. I drank my coffee at the kitchen island and looked out the window. I was almost positive it was tomorrow. I remembered Carrie wanted it on a different date and the country club had already been booked. I just couldn’t remember if she wanted Saturday and they could only do Friday, or vice versa.
