Shemanagedwith how things were. Or, at least, she could bear it. She could predict it. She couldpredictCastor. She could not predict what a new government would do, or any of its proponents.
Instead of answering Adrianna’s question, she replied, “You would leave Eva? After all this time?”
“No! Of course not! I love Eva. I just wish…I wish the decision to be with her hadn’t been madeforme.Perhaps there are other sides of myself I would have wished to explore.”
“Other sides?” Lila frowned.
“You wouldn’t understand. You only like one type of angel.”
“One type?”
“Anatomy-wise.” Adrianna colored. “In bed,” she added, and it was Lila’s turn to blush.
“Oh.” Lila blinked, the thought having never occurred to her before.
Well, except for that one time during lessons…but she’d dismissed it, thinking it impossible based on Adrianna’s origin.
Apparently not.
Huh.
All this time, she’d thought she was the only angel who had trouble with the fate assigned to her. Perhaps that had been self-centered of her.
“Have you told Eva?—”
“Told Eva what? That she’s not enough for me? No, I do not wish to hurt her in that way.” Adrianna shifted on her feet, noticeably uncomfortable. “The point is, there areinterestsI have never been able to pursue because of my attachment. Surely, you feel the same.”
“My feelings on the matter are irrelevant. I’ve lived this way too long already. My existence is what it is.”
“That’s not the Lila I remember from lessons.”
“The Lila you remember from lessons is not here. I am,” Lila replied, in a voice as rough as the wood she toiled over. “And my answer is ‘no.’”
Adrianna reeled back, her lips forming a sour scowl.
“I should have known you would not be compelled. I would have vouched for you, but I should have known. You’re too stubborn for your own good, Lila. That’s why you will forever chase things that are out of your reach, yet fail to grab them when they’re offered to you on a gold platter. But if you will not join us, then you will speak of this to no one.”
“This cage or that cage,” Lila repeated, her tiredness evident in her voice. “What difference is it to me?”
“I’mwarningyou.”
“I assure you, Adrianna, I have far more loyalty to my friends than I do to the Council, but you would be wise to heed my words. Make up with Eva.Talkto her. Leave this alone, and don’t trust in anything other than your own two hands.”
“Promiseto say nothing. Ineedto hear it.” Adrianna’s voice pulled taut as a bowstring. Lila heard the reverberation of it in the stale aether—a menacing chord, fraught with mistrust.
“I swear,” she answered calmly.
Perhaps her tone convinced Adrianna of her seriousness; perhaps she’d never intended to harm Lila. Whatever the reason, she gave her a terse, respectful nod.
“All right. I hope you know what you’re doing, Lila. What you’ve just given up.”
“Oh, I know.” Lila lowered her voice.
Adrianna studied her a moment longer, then wrenched open the door and let herself out.
When she was gone, Lila let out a breath of either relief or regret. It all felt the same now.
She tried to return to her sketch, but her mind wouldn’t stop racing.
