Lila flushed, but not because she shared Eva’s excitement. She didn’t feel proud of herself at all. She certainly wasn’t aninspiration.She was defective. First, she’d been so on accident, and then, she’d been so on purpose.
And she’d known what the sun was supposed to do, theoretically, but her body felt uncomfortable after being exposed to its warmth for so long. Her robes stuck to her damp skin, tight and oppressive, and she tugged at her collar for relief. She had the strange urge to run through the field naked to feel the air rush past her skin.
“It was a long time ago,” she deflected, the target of a huge, yellow, all-knowing eye. Her guilt was full-bodied and consuming. Why had she come to Earth? Why had she confessed?
“Notthatlong ago,” Eva prompted.
“Well, don’t get too excited.” Lila shifted. “It doesn’t mean anything. I only told you because being here…reminds me of him. Besides, don’t you want to scold me for going behind Castor’s back?”
“Mm.” Eva tilted her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Really?” Lila frowned, but Eva grabbed her hands before she could remind her that she’d been totally unfaithful to her pairing. How would Eva have felt if Adrianna had done the same?
“I always wanted something good to happen to you.” Eva’s genuine smile drew Lila up short. “Something that was just yours. And look!Youhelped designthis!” She gestured around them. “I can’t believe my best friend made this! You’re the smartest architect I know.”
Lila’s self-admonishment melted away, just a little, at her friend’s kind words. The sun’s glare dimmed. She hadn’t thought to be proud of her role in designing Earth. No one would ever know anyway. She wasn’t a real architect.
“Don’t you meanangel?” She sniffed, blinking tears away.
Eva shook her head.
“Just because you don’t have the title, it doesn’t mean you aren’t one.” She gripped Lila’s shoulders. “Don’t feel bad, okay?” she implored. “Don’teverfeel bad for making your dream come true. Some rules are really stupid. Even I know that.” Eva released her and took a step back. “Did you know that I never wanted to be a painter?”
“What?” Lila blinked.
Suddenly, it was Eva’s turn to blush; she wasn’t easily embarrassed, and, curious, Lila waited for her to speak.
“Adrianna loved painting, so I let everyone think that was what I wanted to do too. Don’t misunderstand. I enjoy it. But if it was up to me, I would have been a thespian.” Eva struck a dramatic pose, and Lila could definitely envision her as an actress. In fact, she didn’t know why she’d never thought of it before. Eva loved the theatre. She could recite entire monologues from memory after only hearing them once, and the elaborate makeup and accessories she wore all the time would put any theatre costume to shame.
“But itwasup to you!” Lila blurted out. Eva was the first half of her pair. The deciding half. The half thatmatteredto the powers that be.
“Oh, come on. Can you imagine Adriannaon stage?” Eva gave her a doubtful look.
No. No, Lila couldn’t imagine Adrianna doinganytype of public speaking. She’d always been outgoing, but she’d hated doing presentations during lessons. Class plays had been the bane of her existence.
“Adrianna doesn’t know, sopleasedon’t tell her,” Eva urged, then gave a defeated shrug. “Not that it matters now.” She plucked a leaf off the nearest willow and watched the wind carry it away.
Lila studied her oldest friend. Her loud persona and lack of seriousness led some angels to believe she was shallow, but Lila had known Eva long enough to know that nothing could be further from the truth. She was fiercely protective of the angels she loved. By the aether, if she’dreally done that for Adrianna, and beyond that, had never told a soul, she had a heart to rival the hearts of all the other angels combined.
Lila was going to give Adrianna an earful when they got back to Heaven.
“Eva, you need to tell her.”
“No.” She shook her head. “No, I don’t want her to think I was pitying her. Or looking down on her or something.”
“How could she think that?! You gave up your dream for her.” It was no small thing to give that up, willingly or otherwise. Lila knew it too well.
Eva smiled sadly.
“That’sallshe thinks now. I can’t say anything without offending her. What’s crazy is I took up painting because I wanted her to be happy. Because I knew I couldn’t be happy if she wasn’t happy. And we were happy for a long time like that. But now she’s sad anyway, so I’m sad, and I don’t know how to make her happy again. I’m sad all the time, and I hate it, and for the first time, I feel like I could resent her for making me give that up, even though I know it’s not her fault.” She looked away, her face pained. “But still, I’ll never tell her. It would break her heart.” Eva nodded, as if consoling herself with this fact. “So yeah,” she continued, facing Lila again, “maybe I’m not much of a friend to Castor for saying this, but that whole thing with Luc…You shouldn’t feel sorry. He had that one coming. Castor only cares about Castor. He neveroncetried to help you when the instructors picked on you for being…you know…and hehadto know how upset you were.”
“I doubt it.” Lila scoffed. “We never felt connected like you and Adrianna. We could never sense each other’s emotions.”
“Hmm.” Eva frowned. “Not even when you were young?”
Lila shook her head.
“That’s odd. But anyway, what are you going to do now? About Luc, I mean.”
