The nature path wasn’t anything special. It had rained recently, so it was muddy in the middle, and I walked close to the tall switchgrass. There were no pretty views except the sun as it began to set, but even that was lackluster.There were no clouds for the rays to reflect off of, so it was just the color bleeding from the sky. We still had a while until it was completely dark.
“You didn’t have any plans with Pebble Brain today?” Beck asked.
I let out a sigh. “Why can’t you call him Carter?”
“Don’t wanna.”
“And it only ever matters whatyouwant?”
Beck looked down at me. “Duh.”
“Lose the sunglasses,” I ordered suddenly. “It makes me feel weird.”
“Weird?”
“Uneasy.”
Only Beck’s lips echoed the word,uneasy, as he reached up and slipped off his glasses. He hooked them on the collar of his shirt. “Spell it.”
“U-N-E-A-S-Y.” I pursed my lips. “Give me a tougher one.”
“Pusillanimous.”
I craned my neck to stare at him. “You just made that up.”
“Did not. Look it up.Afteryou spell it.”
I blinked, still not quick to lose my frown. What was it?Pusi—“Say it again.”
“Pusillanimous.”
I broke the word down into smaller parts in my mind, mouthing out the syllables silently.Pus-i-lan-i-mus. I tried spelling it out in my mind, replacing themuswith the rule of words ending with -ous, hesitating on whether or not there was a double L. In the end, I went with it. “P-U-S-I-L-L-A-N-I-M-O-U-S. Pusillanimous.” Beck didn’t respond. “Am I right?”
“No clue. I’ve never seen it spelled before.”
I smacked him on the shoulder. “Look it up, then.”
Grumbling, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed in the word.
“Pusillanimous.P-U-S-I-L-L-A-N-I-M-O-U-S.” His eyes fell to mine, and if I hadn’t known any better, I would’ve sworn there was a sparkle in them. “We should call you Neltionary.”
I tried not to smile at the praise, but the light feeling filled me all the same. “What does it mean?”
He scanned the page. “Showing a lack of courage or determination.”
Pusillanimous. I liked that. “Where’d you hear it?”
“My dad used to say it all the time. Thought it made him sound smart when he was insulting me, I guess.”
The atmosphere with Beck was strange, like the trail we were walking was not a mud-filled track, but the line to no-man’s-land, where a truce could be called. The quiet, uncertain tone that hung in our silence just felt so… loud. “Howisyour dad? And your mom?”
He kicked a stick out of the path. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
“I haven’t seen your mom since she left Addison.”
“And I haven’t seen her sinceIleft Addison.”
I stopped in the path. “You haven’t seen your mom in four years?”
