“The day we filmed our chess matches at Alderton-Du Ponte. I’d set up the camera and the microphones. You turned off the camera when Beck came in, but the mics… they were still recording the audio.”
Almost like a bomb dropping from high in the sky, the impact took a moment to actually hit me. The mics were still recording. I’d reached over, pressed the red button on the camera to stop it, but it hadn’t stopped the mics. The camera hadn’t captured Beck sitting down and playing chess with me, but the microphones had.
I sucked in a breath, frantically trying to remember I’d said—whatBeckhad said. All I could remember, though, was his leg sliding up mine, his electric gaze unwavering.Morally corrupt is my favorite version of you.
“It’s okay,” Carter insisted, holding my hand tighter, refusing to let me pull back. “It’s—it’s okay. But I realized it more then. Weareon the same page. And I’m not upset, Eleanor. I’m…glad.”
Carter was officially the most bizarre boy I’d ever met. Eccentric was quite possibly the best word for him. “You’re glad that I thought about using you to impress my dad?”
“It made me feel less guilty if we were both using each other.”
The funny thing was that it was clear Carter felt bad about it. He couldn’t meet my eyes, and his neck and earswere red from the embarrassing confession. I thought back to our first meeting, getting coffee, and how he’d only seemed to relax after I offered the idea not to view it as a date.Just friends.
“Just… if you could meet them once. Prove to them I’ve actually got a girlfriend, that you’re actually real, and then… maybe a few times over the summer. Just once or twice. Just to keep them off my back.” His eyes bounced around, as if the plan was unfolding before him now. “And then, when school starts, I can just say our schedules were too busy. It’d actually work out for you better in the long run—my dad will feel so bad that I wasted your time that he’ll take you under his wing. I know him. I’m sure of it.”
“A fake relationship.” I gave a soft, hollow laugh. I thought about Daisy. “I have a different girl in mind that’d work well for that.”
Carter gently shook his head. “You… would be perfect.”
I think you’d be perfect for what I need.Now it made more sense. Not want, butneed.P-E-R-F-E-C-T. A word I’d come to be synonymous with my name. Eleanor Brighton. Perfect.
It was the first time that it didn’t settle me.
You don’t have to be perfect for someone to be proud of you, Beck had said.Being perfect is so boring.
“We can tell Beck, if you’d like,” Carter said suddenly, as if speaking directly to my thoughts.
“W-What?”
“I told you I heard the recording. I know you like him.”
Like I did with almost everything in my life, I ranthrough the possibilities like pieces on a chessboard. One move, and everything shifted. If I told Beck that Carter proposed a fake relationship, I could just see his snarky sneer now.Pathetic, he’d say.The things you’d do just to be perfect, he’d taunt.
Even though it wouldn’t be for me this time, and I’d be doing it for Carter, I wasn’t sure Beck would see it that way. I wasn’t sure he’d believe me.
“I’ll… think it over,” I murmured, more to myself than to Carter. “If I tell him, I’ll give you a heads up.”
Carter just nodded.
“If we’re friends, though,” I went on, “you can call me Nellie.”
“Nellie,” Carter repeated, and then smiled. “Thank you, Nellie.”
The relief in Carter’s eyes was so clear. It almost transformed their color, the soft blue melting with the release of tension. “Speaking of, are you going to ever post the video of our chess match?” I asked. “Or are you too embarrassed for your followers to see you lose?”
“I was saving it as a birthday present,” he told me, donning his sheepish smile once more. “Sorry for keeping you in suspense.”
A new voice cut in. “Mom just pulled into the garage.”
I nearly yelped at the sound of Jamie directly above me, and I craned my neck to find him leaning against the jamb of the patio door.
Jamie nudged his glasses up. “So I think you should go, Carter.”
“Yes, you should go,” I said, pushing to my feet and allbut hauling Carter up with me. “Saturday is our party. You should come—and you should bring your parents.”
Carter nodded, allowing me to push him toward the gate. “Thank you again, Nellie.”
The gate made more of a sound latching than I would’ve liked, but I hesitated in turning around, afraid to face my brother. The strange expression was still on his face, squinting at me like the sun was in his eyes.
