He looked like a shadow against all the glimmering gold. His hands were in the pockets of his jeans, and for a change, instead of a dark tee, he had on a white one with a black jacket over it. His expression was impossible to read,given how locked down it was. Flat, unfeeling. The sudden sight of him had me freezing mid-sentence.
Beck’s eyes latched onto mine. They were clear, bright, empty. My hand was still on Carter’s arm, but I wanted nothing more than to cross the room.
Carter, ever so slightly, cleared his throat, drawing my attention back.
“I, uh,” I tried, but faltered, because the sight of Beck had wiped the topic clear from my mind. “I’m sorry. I lost my train of thought.”
“It happens with age,” Dr. Pembleton said, and then gave a loud, boisterous laugh, one that filled the ballroom. My lips curled on instinct. “Eleanor, Carter tells us you’re attending Mullhound in the fall.”
Mullhound. College. Carter.B-E-C-K-H-A-M J-E-N-N-I-N-G-S. “Y-Yes, that’s the plan.”
“For pre-law? Following in your parents’ footsteps?”
Instinct almost had me sayingabsolutely, but when I met his light eyes, I stilled. “Actually, I think I’m going to take time to really explore things before dedicating myself to one path,” I told him, voice sure. “I’m still leaning pre-law, but don’t want to tie myself to anything.”
Dr. Pembleton grinned. “Sounds like a wise idea. It’s always better to find your own path than try to go down someone else’s.”
Unbidden, my eyes cut to Lydia, who refused to look at me.
“What are we talking about over here?” Ms. Jennings swooped in between Mrs. Pembleton and Carter,delicately resting her hands on both of their shoulders. “Gushing over our lovely Eleanor, are we?”
“We were talking about her college plans in the fall,” Carter said. “It’s a shame UConn and Mullhound are about two hours apart. It’ll be difficult once school starts.”
“But not impossible!” Ms. Jennings rushed to say. “Unlike my nephew. He chose Stanford, which, well—lovely school, and all—but so far away!”
I turned back toward the entryway wall, leaning ever so slightly to peer around a couple of party guests. When my view finally opened up, I found the wall empty. Beck was gone. My gaze darted around the ballroom, just as it’d been doing earlier, but now I looked with a more fervent pace. I had seen him. He had been there, but what if he’d left?
No, he wouldn’t leave. Not without at least sayingHappy Birthday… right?
Don’t think about it, I told myself sternly, but I could feel my control slipping.Don’t think about him. Not right now. It’s not time for Phase Two.
“—honestly wasn’t sure he’d go back,” Ms. Jennings mused. “He was talking about transferring to UConn, but he’s decided to go back to Stanford for his summer semester, and I should encourage him, not hold him back, hmm? Oh, the house will be so lonely!”
“What?” I squeezed Carter’s arm tight enough that he ducked a little under the pain, reaching up to pat my knuckles. “Beck… is leaving?”
Ms. Jennings’s eyes slipped to my throat, as if mynecklace had drawn her eye. “It feels as though he rushed into the decision, but he always has been a little… impulsive.”
Isn’t Stanford boring?I’d asked Beck before.
He’d given a dull, lifeless response.Horribly.
And yet he’d chosen to go back, to enroll in a summer semester instead of staying with Ms. Jennings. Instead of staying in Addison.
Instead of staying with me.
“Would you excuse me for a moment?” I asked the group, the picture of politeness, even though I felt as if I were sinking through quicksand. “I, um—I need to go check and see when my dad will be here with the cake.” A flippant excuse. One that sounded thin to my own ears.
Carter tried to catch my eye. “Want me to come with you?”
“No.” The response came too quickly. I forced myself to take a breath. “Keep talking, please. I’ll only be a moment.”
I broke away from them, but before I could get to the balloon archway, Daisy and Jamie intercepted me. “Nellie.” Daisy seemed to read the dilemma in my expression, but even though she didn’t know exactly what it was, she knew the right question to ask. “What do you need us to do?”
I looked into the eyes of my best friend and then my twin, both who were there for me at every turn. In that moment, I internally made a promise to be there when they needed me next. “Can you stall?”
Daisy gave a determined nod. “On it.” And then she grabbed Jamie’s arm, pulling him into her master plan.
And with that, I set off.
