“What is it?”
“I just want one night with you in my house, sober.”
That makes her smile. “I’ll go this week, but I’m not staying over. Last night was different. I need to set some sort of boundaries until or if we ever make this official.”
“Okay,” I simply say. I plan to respect whatever boundaries she needs to set for now, just like any man should. I understand it’s her way of trying not to make this any harder than it already is.
“Okay.” She stands and puts her clothes back on. “I really hope you’re not going to make anyone else clean that up.”
What? I follow her line of sight to my cum on the floor and cringe.
Worth it.
Chapter Thirty-Three
EMMA
“Oh yeah, that’s it. Right there.”
“Does it feel better than before?”
“Mhm, way better.”
Grayson’s hand presses too hard on my back this time, and I let out a huff.
“Shit.” He rips his hands away. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to go that hard.”
“You’re good.” I rub my lower back and feel the knot I got at the gym has already loosened. “I think your job is done now, Professor. I’m feeling much better.”
Grayson jumps to the other side of his bed, resting his hands under his head while wearing only his boxer briefs; meanwhile, I’m in my thong and bra after the quickest quickie we’ve had to date.
It’s been a week and a half since I finished the last soup kitchen visit for the article, and two and a half weeks since the first time Grayson and I had sex in his bed. This is the fourth time I’ve come over, but I haven’t slept here again as promised. He’s made me dinner, but never in a romantic setting, we cuddle sometimes, and we’ve gotten to know each other better. Sure,there have been moments of non-dirty flirting, but that’s normal for whatever we are…right?But we never fight. Well, we argue sometimes. We’re both incredibly stubborn, and we’ll butt heads, but being on the same page has helped. We’ve learned to trust each other, even though we remain a nameless, faceless secret.
It’s as if the morning after Stevie’s birthday calmed him down. When I admitted what I wanted in a partner and told him I didn’t expect that from him, everything changed. On the other hand, it made me remember what I want romantically and…I’m still not quite sure what it did to him, but he’s been a lot nicer and more flirtatious.
My friends asked me questions, and I told them parts of the truth. That we’re having sex but not in a relationship. That it started this semester, and we’ve known each other since the summer. The rest is simply none of their business.
I’m one to talk, considering how much I’ve pressured them into speaking about their love lives in the past.
I have to admit that, as cool as I play it, my heart is trying its damn hardest not to feel anything for this man beyond friendly concern and kindness. There are moments when I catch myself questioning what he wants, where this is headed, and how much longer it will last. Then I take a moment to breathe and push the questions and thoughts aside, knowing they’ll only lead to heartbreak. But when I’m at his house or when we do dirty things in his car or office, and he calls me “Princess,” I almost give in to the feelings I know are just lying doormat for now.
If he promised me a future, a relationship, it’d only take me a second to get on the same page, and I absolutely despise that he has that power over me. Then again, I could end this whenever I want to, so why don’t I?
“Emma.” Fingers snap in my face, jolting me out of my stupor.
I look up at Grayson, still lying on my stomach. “Sorry, what were you saying?”
His eyebrows crease. “Are you okay? I called your name three times.”
“Um.” I clear my throat and sit up, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. I let myself get into my head and think about my feelings with him next to me. “I should head out. Those bags aren’t going to pack themselves, and I’m leaving for the city in the morning.”
It’s two days before Thanksgiving, and I’m excited to see my parents for the first time in months. I usually don’t spend this much time away from them, but the paper has me completely booked, along with classes and Grayson. He’s spending the entire weekend with his siblings, and I think we could both use the space. This time apart will be good for me.
“Let me at least make you something to eat.” The mattress of his queen-sized bed shifts as he comes up from behind me when I finish putting on my long-sleeve top.
He presses a gentle kiss to my neck, and I arch my back slightly before standing up. His kisses can distract me from anything, and he knows it.
Gathering myself, I close my eyes and straighten my back. “No, it’s fine. I’ll get something at the café next to my dorm. They’re still open.” The truth is, I need to get away because the question I just asked myself is freaking me out.
