Chapter Eighteen
Damn it!She’dknown getting involved with Riley was a mistake.“We decided we were only going to be together until New Year’s.Nothing serious.This—” she pointed to the box “—this is serious.”
“Actually, you decided that.Like I said before, I never did.”
Hadn’t he?She thought he had.“You didn’t dispute it.”
“If I recall correctly, and I do, I said don’t expect me not to try to change your mind.And you promised you’d think about it.”
Panic.Why did he have to bring this up?“I haven’t changed my mind.”
“We’ve been having fun, right?”
“Yes.”
“We get each other.”
“Yes.”
“The sex is fantastic.”
She rolled her eyes.“It’s good.”
“More than good.”
“Fine.It’s fantastic.So what?”
“So given all that, why haven’t you changed your mind?Why do you want to call it off at New Year’s?”
How to explain it to him when she didn’t know how to explain it to herself?“I lost my parents when I was a teenager.Your parents are great and they were wonderful to take me in.But I still lost the two most important people in my life.And I don’t think I ever really got over losing them.”
“I know that was hard.More than hard.But what does that have to do with us?”
“I don’t ever want to feel that way again.And if we get serious about each other then you’ll become the most important person in my life.I can’t risk that.”
“Your solution is to never get serious about anyone?Or is it just me you don’t want to get serious with?”
“Of course it’s not just you.”
“What are you so afraid of?”
“What if something happened to you?What if I lost you?”
“You’re talking about losing me now.What’s the difference?”
“There’s a huge difference between having a fling and then having it be over and being serious about someone and then losing them.”
“You’re saying if we broke up right now you’d be fine with it.No big deal, right?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”But it was.Damn it, he’d gotten her so confused she didn’t know what she was saying.
“I thought I could do this.”He stood and began pacing.“I thought I could convince you that we were good together and to give us a chance.But you’re not willing to do that.”
“Why do we have to talk about this now?It’s not even Christmas yet.”
He glared at her and shook his head.“You really don’t get it, do you?We have to talk about it because I’m in love with you.”
“No.”She shook her head.“No, you can’t be.”
