Ryan could think of several reasons for leaving that could make what her dad did more understandable, but he didn’t know that Aria would buy off on any of them.Wasn’t that part of the reason he hadn’t told her about Connor and Casey and the war?Because he didn’t know if she’d consider that a good reason for him never settling down, never staying in one place for long?
Hell, the more he thought about it, and accepted Connor’s point about what had happened, the more he realized his reasons had been misguided at best.He had a feeling he was going to have to explain himself to Aria before she truly trusted him again.If she ever did.He’d intended to tell her what had happened but after he’d talked to Connor he put it off.And kept putting it off.But right now he needed to help her deal with her father.Or whoever the man was.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“What good would that do?”she asked.
“It might help you decide whether to hear him out or not.You said you were curious.”
Her laugh held no humor.“I don’t know what I am.This—seeing my father again, assuming it is him—is the very last thing I ever expected to happen.My God, Ryan, it’s been more thantwenty years.”
He took her arm and led her to the couch to sit.Sitting beside her, he asked, “What did your mom say?”
“At first she just told me he’d gone on a trip and would be back.But as time passed, she accepted that he was gone and she had to tell me something.She never said he deserted us.She said he had to go away, and she wasn’t sure when he was coming back.Eventually, I realized what had happened and that he was gone for good.
“I think she hoped to see him again until the day she died.I know she did.”She rubbed a hand across her forehead.“Did I tell you she asked for him on her deathbed?”
“I heard you say that earlier.”
“She never got over him.And she never said a bad word about him.Which I didn’t get at all.You’d think she’d have resented him leaving like he did.No explanation, no nothing.But she never did.”
“Unless he did tell her something about why he was leaving and she didn’t tell you.”
She frowned.“Why wouldn’t she tell me if she knew?”
“I don’t know.It’s just a thought.”He stood.“I should get going.”
“Don’t go.Please.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to be alone.”
“Whatdoyou want, Aria?”
She stood and faced him.“I don’t want to think about my father.Or whoever he is.I don’t want to think at all.”
“Is this an invitation to your bed?”Yes, that was blunt but he wanted it spelled out.
“Would you say yes if it was?”
“I’d prefer you had a different reason.Like you want me, not just because you want to forget.”
She frowned again.“I don’t go to bed with men I don’t want.Actually, I haven’t been to bed with anybody other than you in a long time.I thought we’d settled this.You said you changed your mind.”
She paced away, then turned to look at him.“You know what?Never mind.”
*
He looked confused.“Never mind what?”
“I changed my mind.We are not having sex.We will not be having a casual relationship.The only relationship we’re going to have is as co-parents to Sophie.”
“I really don’t understand you.You said it was just sex and not a big deal.Now you say it’s not happening.Make up your mind.”
“I can’t.I don’t know what to do.I don’t know what I want.”She threw her hands up in the air.“I don’t know any damn thing at all!”
The baby monitor came alive with Sophie’s cry.
